Overheard my husband cheating

[MsDSibs]

Hi All

 

I'm new on this forum. Been lurking for a while but something happened that I need to get an outside opinion on.

 

I found out that my husband of 4 years was having an affair in February of this year. He had initially told me that nothing was going on and that the woman was stalking him. When the truth surfaced, he told me that she meant nothing and lasted only a few months... this is after I gave him a choice to either stay with us (we have a 4 year old) or he leaves. He chose to stay and we moved to a bigger better house.

 

After our move, he promised to not have any contact with her. I'm still insecure so I check his phone every once in a while. This weekend, he went out with friends. While he was out, I got a call from a blocked number and could hear him having sex with her! The same woman he told me meant nothing. The same one he's not supposed to be in contact with. I overheard them having sex. I even heard him tell her that he loves her and feels so connected to her!

 

I cried the entire weekend and when I confronted him he just plain denied it. I'm confused also. Who called me? Was it her or was it him? Is she trying to ruin my marriage? I definitely recognised his voice and was very hurt.

 

Please help me. I'm so confused about what to do next... he won't leave because of our daughter and I'm worried that he will continue lying.

[stillafool]

Hi All

 

 

I cried the entire weekend and when I confronted him he just plain denied it. I'm confused also. Who called me? Was it her or was it him? Is she trying to ruin my marriage? I definitely recognised his voice and was very hurt.

 

Please help me. I'm so confused about what to do next... he won't leave because of our daughter and I'm worried that he will continue lying.

 

No it isn't her that is ruining your marriage it is your cheating husband. What do you mean he won't leave? Since you know it was him you heard having sex with the other woman just tell him to get out!

[Poppyolive]

I agree it's not her ruining your marriage, it's him. What more evidence do you need? He's disrespecting you and your marriage. He needs to go. You need to be strong enough to let him go, and know that everything will be ok. I'm sorry you had a terrible weekend. This sucks. He sucks

[MsDSibs]

It's not so easy to kick him out. We just bought a new house together and our daughter is only 4. And I still love him, I'm just devasted by his cheating.

 

I could handle at when I thought he didn't love her but hearing them have sex and him sounding so tenderness her... I dont know how to handle this.

[dichotomy]

Hi All

 

 

 

I cried the entire weekend and when I confronted him he just plain denied it. I'm confused also. Who called me? Was it her or was it him? Is she trying to ruin my marriage? I definitely recognised his voice and was very hurt.

 

Please help me. I'm so confused about what to do next... he won't leave because of our daughter and I'm worried that he will continue lying.

 

 

Could have been her on purpose - or him on accident (butt dial) using one of their burner phone. You know your husbands voice - there is no question then is there ?

 

As for him not leaving - file for divorce. He will have to leave eventually.

[RecentChange]

Yeah, it's not his "stalker" ruining your marriage, your husband is the one cheating, and STILL cheating after you had confronted him.

 

You have no reason to believe he will actually end it.

 

Look, I have cheated! And I got caught, and you know what I did? Never contacted my affair partner ever again.

 

I know it's going to take my husband a very long time to trust me again - until then I work on earning his trust, and not breaking it!

 

Your husband has shown no interest in earning your trust. Rather just disrespects you instead.

[Poppyolive]

You should really have more respect for yourself. I mean this in the kindest way. By staying with him you're allowing his lying and cheating. He has already been caught. Surely you dint want your daughter to think this is ok? You're obviously hurting. He has done this to you, without care. Why should you live your life looking over his texts, calls, nights out? He is some piece of work. I hope you can one day realise that you deserve much much better.

 

You can still co parent your 4 year old.

[MsDSibs]

I have thought of leaving him, but we're both used to living a life of comfort based on our combined income. He is also a good father to our child and our families would be devasted if we broke up because we have portrayed our marital life as perfect.

 

I am angry at this other woman because she is a threat to my security and stability as well as that of my child.

 

Even though I heard him making love to another woman, am I weak for thinking of reconciliation?

[ChickiePops]

At this point, yes, you are being weak. And it's not reconciliation as he hasn't admitted to the cheating..it's just you burying your head in the sand.

 

It's up to you though. If money and reputation are more important to you than having a good marriage then by all means, ignore it.

[MsDSibs]

At this point, yes, you are being weak. And it's not reconciliation as he hasn't admitted to the cheating..it's just you burying your head in the sand.

 

It's up to you though. If money and reputation are more important to you than having a good marriage then by all means, ignore it.

 

Our marriage has been good up until this point. I'm just concerned that she may be manipulating the situation to cause us to break up? I know I'm not strong right now, but my daughter needs her father.

[sunburned]

Our marriage has been good up until this point. I'm just concerned that she may be manipulating the situation to cause us to break up? I know I'm not strong right now, but my daughter needs her father.

 

Right. No one is suggesting you unload him as your daughter's father. You couldn't do that legally anyway. But you can unload your lying, cheating husband. I am so sorry this happened to you. But you need to be strong, set the tone and the example now for your daughter. You gave him a second chance already, which was admirable. Fool me once, shame on you ... fool me twice, well you know the rest. And please, the OW is not ruining your marriage. He already did that.