Nbtts Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 I have been talking to this guy for such a while but we starts to date for 3 months (6 dates). He is an outgoing introvert. Who likes to stay in and read. And gets awkward in lots of situation with steangers involved. He likes to be with his friends on the weekend and if it that some weeks i get to see him on weekdays or not at all. He told me that he doesn't want to rush into a relationship which i agree on that. We slept together on the 5th dates and he asked me to spent the night. In the morning when i woke up (which he's already up) he told me that i dont have to be up and to continue sleeping. He doesn't text me everyday which i dont mind but sometimes he just disappear for a 4-5 days without texting or sometimes give me short answer. But sometime after his night out with friends he just texts me and asked me how i am (not a booty call im sure). Sometime we could just talk for hours. Things are fine and he talks a lot about his family and friends when we see each other in person but i feel he's aloof while we dont see each other im not sure if i should take this personal. Or ig he's not really interested. But he told me that we wouldn't go on dates if he doesn't want to come. Is this normal for those whos An introver?
smackie9 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 No don't take it personally it's him not you. BUT if it's too much of a challenge to have your expectations socially fulfilled then you are not compatible. YOU cannot change how he is! Either you accept it and embrace his personality or you walk.
Author Nbtts Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 No i don't mind him being like this if I'm sure hes seeing this going somewhere and interested you know?
Jabron1 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 im not sure if i should take this personal. Or ig he's not really interested. But he told me that we wouldn't go on dates if he doesn't want to come. Is this normal for those whos An introver? As an 'outgoing introvert' myself, I know exactly what you are saying. Everyone is surprised when I tell them that I'm an introvert. People have messed up ideas about introversion, obviously. He will need time to himself. It's as simple as that. Yes, it will seem like push/pull behavior. But the strength of a true introvert is that they aren't needy at all. You can't enjoy the strengths of that (you don't want a 'needy guy', right?), and then complain about the 'lack of connection', or start blaming him for being 'low-interest'. You need to settle on some sort of routine that suits the pair of you. That might take some time. I say give him more time 1
JoeSmith357-1 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 It's hard sometimes with introverts. I am a mild introvert (ISTJ) and have dated some pretty closed up introverts (like an INFP) and it's hard sometimes because they just disappear in themselves for hours or days on end. I seriously dated an INFP who was also ADD (or ADHD, but not hyperactive part). She would seriously lose track of time, never kept a schedule. It was hard to tell where she was at with you sometimes. But when she was on, she was ON... you just have to sometimes work around these quirks. Sometimes with introverts getting them to initially show interest is hard.
Author Nbtts Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 Yes, it will seem like push/pull behavior. But the strength of a true introvert is that they aren't needy at all. You need to settle on some sort of routine that suits the pair of you. That might take some time. I say give him more time Yeah push/pull that's it! Sometimes he just read my text and not reply when i asked about that he just said that he were busy or have nothing to say which I'm now used to that behaviour. But i think i need a reassure that its not that he doesn't want to talk. I halfly have to be the one who arrange the date he said that i could do that but we wouldnt see each other this often. But you suggest me to give him sometime. I guess I'll do that. But i think i need to talk to him how i feel about some of things he does that i don't like (his texting behaviour and avoiding phone call) Haha i just wish he opens up to me already
Author Nbtts Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 It's hard sometimes with introverts. I am a mild introvert (ISTJ) and have dated some pretty closed up introverts (like an INFP) and it's hard sometimes because they just disappear in themselves for hours or days on end. I seriously dated an INFP who was also ADD (or ADHD, but not hyperactive part). She would seriously lose track of time, never kept a schedule. It was hard to tell where she was at with you sometimes. But when she was on, she was ON... you just have to sometimes work around these quirks. Sometimes with introverts getting them to initially show interest is hard. Yeah hes an ISTP. i think when he try to tell me about stuff he interested in i only get "that's cool" or "fine" or "its good" which for me whos ENFP will go with "i love it" or "its amazing" or "this is the best" I texted him today after havent heard from him in 5 days and knew he went to the beach with his friends. He said hes just tired after when i asked "was it fun" and he only replied "yeah" so i said that ok i guess you don't want to talk. And he said really? I'm just tired so i told him thag I'll give him some me time as i understand that 3days and 2 nights with his friends would be a bit too overwhelming for him. And that when he relised that he should asked about my weekend as well. It happens like this alot. When sometime he realised that i might feel bad so he tried to talk after gave me one word answer or when i was a but passive agressive. So he will step up a bit.
MLP11 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 It's hard sometimes with introverts. I am a mild introvert (ISTJ) and have dated some pretty closed up introverts (like an INFP) and it's hard sometimes because they just disappear in themselves for hours or days on end. I seriously dated an INFP who was also ADD (or ADHD, but not hyperactive part). She would seriously lose track of time, never kept a schedule. It was hard to tell where she was at with you sometimes. But when she was on, she was ON... you just have to sometimes work around these quirks. Sometimes with introverts getting them to initially show interest is hard. How did you connect with the INFP? Often it feels they are so aloof it is impossible to feel a connection with them I have found. The lack of communication or ability to show their feelings is nothing short of aggregating
JoeSmith357-1 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 How did you connect with the INFP? Often it feels they are so aloof it is impossible to feel a connection with them I have found. The lack of communication or ability to show their feelings is nothing short of aggregating In my case, we met online (OKC). So we were able to build a connection slowly, at a pace she could handle/tolerate. We had built up feelings via texting, skype for a couple weeks before we met IRL. It was crazy though, we really hit it off once we met, was with her for almost 2 years. It's really complicated why it ended, it was my choice based on something that revolved around some life choices she was making and the direction she was headed.
preraph Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 To me, he doesn't even sound like an introvert. He just sounds like he'd rather be with his friends.
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