Nonameuncreative Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Hello I just need a place to rant and talk about this. I was with my ex for 6 years before we broke up. We lived together for two years. I broke up with him and I miss him so much. That last year we were together was just so terrible. i woke up one morning after Another fight and realized how unhappy I was and how unhappy he was. So I asked for a break and he took it as a break up. So we broke up. A few weeks after that I got sick and found out I was 9 weeks pregnant. My son is 4 months as of today now. I told him and he wanted to raise our son seperately I agreed. I simple didn't think it would be this difficult moving on with him still in the back ground. When we were together one of the biggest issues for us was that he refused to go anywhere with me. I got us EDC tickets ( huge rave in Las Vegas) and he refused to go. So I sold our tickets to my friend who really wanted to go. Then for my birthday I told him I wanted to go to Cabo and I'd pay for everything. He refused stating he was afraid to fly over water. I went ahead and planned the trip anyways figuring he would change his mind. I mean it was basically a free trip to Mexico. However he did budge and I ended up going with my best friend. Every single trip or vacation I wanted to go on he would refuse. Now however now that I'm not in the picture he went to EDC with his friends...had fun too. His going to Hawaii next year ( that means flying over water) also for his last birthday he went on a rafting/boat party with his friends when I asked if I could go he said no girls were allowed. I was totally okay with it big time you know. But this year his made it a point to invite all girls. That just hurts my feelings and makes me so sad. Not because his actually doing all of these things but cause they were the things I wanted to do with him. I wanted him with me but j guess I was not good enough to go with him. I was with this boy for half a life time and he so easily pushed me aside even when he knew I was having his baby. Was j seriously that horrible of a gf? Am I not worth fighting for after so much time? And how could he move on so fast and easily? I still love him. And miss him so much but my pride keeps me from texting/calling him or talking to him about anything other then our son.
mg101 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 (edited) I'm sorry you're hurting. I think having him still in your life makes the process that much harder. Let me ask you - how do you know about all these things he's doing or has done? If it's social media, you need to delete/block him on there asap. If it's mutual friends telling you, you need to tell them to not update you anymore. You can apply some of the advice of NC even in your situation. Stop torturing yourself please. As for why he didn't do these things with you. Who knows. Maybe he was at a different place then. Or maybe he's just a jerk. Does it matter why? Fact is he didn't and that goes to the fact that he wasn't an engaged bf to you. You weren't happy and you made the healthy decision to do something about it. As for fighting for you, I've struggled with that notion too. I'm kind of dealing with that lingering question even now. I think it goes to show you were right to move on. There was nothing there to fight for. And you knew it too. On his end, sometimes even otherwise manipulative partners who know how to dangle that carrot and "fight" for their partner, know when to give up. It's when their bs has come to the surface and they can't fake it anymore. Or maybe the costs or work needed has outweighed the benefit they were there to reap. You need mental distance from this guy to gain clarity. Please try to create it even given your ties. Edited July 18, 2016 by mg101 1
stillafool Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 You know way too much about what is going on in your ex's life. Knowing what he's up to in his private life is going to keep you in pain. Isn't it funny that now you are out of his life he is doing all the things he didn't want to do with you. Does that tell you anything? 1
louxor Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 I agree with what the other posters have said in regards to you knowing too much about what he is up to - I'd guess a bit of social media stalking has been going on? (We've all been there ). I'd suggest cutting back on how much you know about the goings of his life, it's doing you no benefit to know what he is up to. But regardless of that, what have you done over this last year? What have you done to benefit yourself and to grow and learn through this? What changes have you made to rediscover your happiness that was lost while with this guy? Your post doesn't go much into what you have been up to, so I'm leaning towards the idea that you have neglected the most important person in this whole situation - yourself.
Author Nonameuncreative Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 I know because he tells me. I'm not going to lie and say I don't lurk on his Instagram but I wouldn't need to anyways since he tells me. For every event or activity he does we have to change the visitation schedule with our son.
Author Nonameuncreative Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 The past year I haven't really had time to stop and do much for myself. I was pregnant so he focus was just surviving the pregnancy. Now that the baby is here between him and school ( I'm still working on my bachelors) it's not easy to do much for myself. I'm sure it'll get easier when my son gets older but until Then I have to just be patient and wait.
DevotedBaker54 Posted July 23, 2016 Posted July 23, 2016 I'm sorry you're feeling hurt by his actions. It must make you feel like he didn't care much about your passions since he now is doing everything you wanted to do with him. I don't think you were a bad girlfriend, just not the person he's meant to be with. Maybe you could just look at it that way, and not think that you did anything wrong. Some people just don't work well together. You'll find someone who will love going to concerts and vacations with you <3 Wait for that guy! Until then, take care of yourself and your son
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