SpaceEcho Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Hi. I have never been what you might call "Good with girls". My record is somewhere like 1-for-150 in attempts. And these have included cruel, mocking, dismissive and fake-interest-at-first rejections. I realize I have to go out there and flirt. Only I feel that if I simply try and start a conversation, I'll be immediately rejected, because I don't know how to be natural, or confident. I know how to be "nice". But being "nice" is a negative, as anyone who reads the Internet will see. I want to be able to appear confident. Maybe even cocky. Only, how can I do it? Is there a way to practice? How do I forget that my confidence is shot to bits? How do I avoid looking totally like a fish out of water? Appreciate your comments. Thanks in advance.
longjohn Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Hi. I have never been what you might call "Good with girls". My record is somewhere like 1-for-150 in attempts. And these have included cruel, mocking, dismissive and fake-interest-at-first rejections. I realize I have to go out there and flirt. Only I feel that if I simply try and start a conversation, I'll be immediately rejected, because I don't know how to be natural, or confident. I know how to be "nice". But being "nice" is a negative, as anyone who reads the Internet will see. I want to be able to appear confident. Maybe even cocky. Only, how can I do it? Is there a way to practice? How do I forget that my confidence is shot to bits? How do I avoid looking totally like a fish out of water? Appreciate your comments. Thanks in advance. You might not even have to be "confident" or even cocky which turns some ladies off. Success alone does quite a bit for your ability to date. So does being able to be confident around ladies. I'd advise talking to some female friends if you can. Do research on how to read female body language. Dress properly and shave.. don't walk up to a nice lady in a business suite in a bar dressed like you belong down a dark alley.
Author SpaceEcho Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 Well, you have to be successful first. And I live away from my hometown, where all my friends are. I need to make acquaintances, I realize that. I am very much sure personal hygiene isn't an issue. But walking up to a woman in a bar, at this point in time, in my mind, is like asking me to cross a pool of molten lava. I need to take baby steps. If you, however, know any sites that help you practice reading body language, it would be much appreciated.
BaileyB Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 I think a confident, nice guy is so attractive! I won't give the time of day to guys who are cocky. Really, you just want to be yourself - with confidence. My best advice is to really develop your confidence in yourself... Think about your strengths and what makes you unique and attractive to women and cultivate that. I don't think the bar is a great place to meet women. Do things you enjoy and just meet people. Talk to girls, ask them out - the more you practice, the more confident you will feel. Try not to get discouraged - dating is hard for everyone. I don't know that anyone feels truly confident when it comes to dating. You will find your way. 1
basil67 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Stop going up to girls in bars. Or out shopping. Or where ever else you are going up to them. This method has a very low success rate and is only for those who have nerves of steel and can cope with much rejection. Instead, work on getting talking to girls you meet on a regular basis. Increase your social circle. Learn a new hobby. As BaileyB said, get out and do things you enjoy and meet people. And yeah, 'cocky' is not a nice trait.
thguy Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Women expect confidence from guys. If you aren't confident inside women can see it.
louxor Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 I would recommend checking out Corey Wayne's book or videos. I like how he shows men to act more like men instead of men acting like women. A feminine woman wants a man who takes charge, shows confidence and is clear on his intent (making a date, not "let's hang out"). Some women may not like Corey Wayne's approach, but I'm loving him!!! More men need to learn from him! It's not about being a player, it's about having strong masculine energy. This^ Corey Wayne is a f**king legend and he hits the nail right on the head for so many things, confidence included - I think you would benefit from his material (all the videos are free to watch on youtube and I think you can even get his ebook for free)
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