Jump to content

How to win back an alpha male/ how to fix something that never had a fighting chance

carlyp

By carlyp
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

  • Author
carlyp New Member

carlyp

Posted
  • Author
Posted
OP, how do you know he has an endless supply of women lining up for him?

 

He told me that he can get sex whenever he wants. He has a FWB because he needs sex constantly. One of the reasons I was high value to him was because I hammered the point that I wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship. He tried to change my mind, but in the end I said some things that made him believe I was a diamond in the middle of him panning for gold and agreed he would do things my way.

 

When we were talking about what we were looking for, he mentioned that he didn't necessarily go for looks because he had 8's and 9's on his match list but went out with a 7 for personality. (charming huh? :o) He comes from a wealthy family and has a very good job. He is very handsome so it wouldn't surprise me at all if he wasn't lying about having enough girls to keep him busy. I wasn't attracted to those things. I liked him for his wit and his ability to ask good thought provoking questions that led to some really great conversations. He mentioned several times that I was the girl he would bring home to mom and marry so it just surprises me that if he truly did find a diamond, why he'd throw it away so fast. My thinking is he is either punishing me for behaving like a child and will either make contact eventually, or he just really doesn't have time for foolishness and has moved on completely. Either way, the more I talk it out, the more I see that even though diamonds may have imperfections (a bad text) I'm still valuable and rare and if he'd rather throw it away, I wish him well in finding something better.

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted

 

He told me that he can get sex whenever he wants. He has a FWB because he needs sex constantly. One of the reasons I was high value to him was because I hammered the point that I wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship. He tried to change my mind, but in the end I said some things that made him believe I was a diamond in the middle of him panning for gold and agreed he would do things my way.

 

When we were talking about what we were looking for, he mentioned that he didn't necessarily go for looks because he had 8's and 9's on his match list but went out with a 7 for personality. (charming huh? :o) He comes from a wealthy family and has a very good job. He is very handsome so it wouldn't surprise me at all if he wasn't lying about having enough girls to keep him busy. I wasn't attracted to those things. I liked him for his wit and his ability to ask good thought provoking questions that led to some really great conversations.

 

He mentioned several times that I was the girl he would bring home to mom and marry so it just surprises me that if he truly did find a diamond, why he'd throw it away so fast.

 

My thinking is he is either punishing me for behaving like a child and will either make contact eventually, or he just really doesn't have time for foolishness and has moved on completely. Either way, the more I talk it out, the more I see that even though diamonds may have imperfections (a bad text) I'm still valuable and rare and if he'd rather throw it away, I wish him well in finding something better.

 

I think I will leave the responses to Redhead and Versacehottie...

 

Franky, I'm speechless.

  • Like 4
Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted
He told me that he can get sex whenever he wants. He has a FWB because he needs sex constantly. One of the reasons I was high value to him was because I hammered the point that I wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship. He tried to change my mind, but in the end I said some things that made him believe I was a diamond in the middle of him panning for gold and agreed he would do things my way.

 

When we were talking about what we were looking for, he mentioned that he didn't necessarily go for looks because he had 8's and 9's on his match list but went out with a 7 for personality. (charming huh? :o) He comes from a wealthy family and has a very good job. He is very handsome so it wouldn't surprise me at all if he wasn't lying about having enough girls to keep him busy. I wasn't attracted to those things. I liked him for his wit and his ability to ask good thought provoking questions that led to some really great conversations. He mentioned several times that I was the girl he would bring home to mom and marry so it just surprises me that if he truly did find a diamond, why he'd throw it away so fast. My thinking is he is either punishing me for behaving like a child and will either make contact eventually, or he just really doesn't have time for foolishness and has moved on completely. Either way, the more I talk it out, the more I see that even though diamonds may have imperfections (a bad text) I'm still valuable and rare and if he'd rather throw it away, I wish him well in finding something better.

 

Hun I'm sorry this happened to you

 

I'm just wondering where your head was at the past 2 weeks

 

Here you are saying some not so nice things about him (which may be true) But you went after him...so what does that say about you???

 

Dont get me wrong hun...I've been in similar situations...I've gone for the douche bag type plenty of times...I out grew that phase...thank god

 

I think you might want to take some time and evaluate things...why would you want to get into a relationship with a guy that literally bragged to you that he can "get sex whenever" he wants....he has a FWB on the side...and wasnt too respectful of your boundaries in terms of not having sex outside of a relationship (I'm the same way, so good call there hun)

 

What you may have overlooked was theres a good chance he just wanted to get in your pants. I went on a few dates with a guy like that...he was obbessed with getting in my pants....its like he was addicted. He tried telling me he wanted a relationship with me...but he only told me that because I let him know I wont have sex unless I'm in a serious relationship with a guy...so he tried to feed me a line to get what he wanted...which is what this guy was probably doing too

 

I think there were more than enough red flags with this guy hun. But dont beat yourself up though...its very easy to get caught up and overlook the warning signs...its all a learning process

 

Best of luck to you hun!!! :D

SwordofFlame Established Member

SwordofFlame

Posted
Posted
He told me that he can get sex whenever he wants. He has a FWB because he needs sex constantly. One of the reasons I was high value to him was because I hammered the point that I wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship. He tried to change my mind, but in the end I said some things that made him believe I was a diamond in the middle of him panning for gold and agreed he would do things my way.

 

When we were talking about what we were looking for, he mentioned that he didn't necessarily go for looks because he had 8's and 9's on his match list but went out with a 7 for personality. (charming huh? :o) He comes from a wealthy family and has a very good job. He is very handsome so it wouldn't surprise me at all if he wasn't lying about having enough girls to keep him busy. I wasn't attracted to those things. I liked him for his wit and his ability to ask good thought provoking questions that led to some really great conversations. He mentioned several times that I was the girl he would bring home to mom and marry so it just surprises me that if he truly did find a diamond, why he'd throw it away so fast. My thinking is he is either punishing me for behaving like a child and will either make contact eventually, or he just really doesn't have time for foolishness and has moved on completely. Either way, the more I talk it out, the more I see that even though diamonds may have imperfections (a bad text) I'm still valuable and rare and if he'd rather throw it away, I wish him well in finding something better.

 

You're either brand new to online dating/dating in general or incredibly naive.

  • Like 2
Tayla Established Member

Tayla

Posted
Posted

I side with walking away from a flakey response. Best to live and learn from .

 

May I inquire though where is the appeal in dating an alpha? I find controlling persons rather blah... But maybe you can shed some light on the appeal?

JewelD Established Member

JewelD

Posted
Posted
He told me that he can get sex whenever he wants. He has a FWB because he needs sex constantly. One of the reasons I was high value to him was because I hammered the point that I wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship. He tried to change my mind, but in the end I said some things that made him believe I was a diamond in the middle of him panning for gold and agreed he would do things my way.

 

When we were talking about what we were looking for, he mentioned that he didn't necessarily go for looks because he had 8's and 9's on his match list but went out with a 7 for personality. (charming huh? :o) He comes from a wealthy family and has a very good job. He is very handsome so it wouldn't surprise me at all if he wasn't lying about having enough girls to keep him busy. I wasn't attracted to those things. I liked him for his wit and his ability to ask good thought provoking questions that led to some really great conversations. He mentioned several times that I was the girl he would bring home to mom and marry so it just surprises me that if he truly did find a diamond, why he'd throw it away so fast. My thinking is he is either punishing me for behaving like a child and will either make contact eventually, or he just really doesn't have time for foolishness and has moved on completely. Either way, the more I talk it out, the more I see that even though diamonds may have imperfections (a bad text) I'm still valuable and rare and if he'd rather throw it away, I wish him well in finding something better.

 

Girl, if it sound too good to be true, it is. He's probably some gross dude sitting in his mom's basement and braiding his pubes.

 

If he was super rich and handsome and had all these women fawning over him, why would he be wasting his time online? He could just call up the build-a-chick headquarters and have some damsels sent directly to his room.

 

You're missing the point. Stop blaming yourself over sending a text. This man was playing with you to see what you would be willing to do and how much crap he could throw your way before you finally said stop.

 

This fantasy in your mind is not real. So you didn't mess anything up. You saved yourself from wasting even more time on a crappy person who probably never planned to meet you in the first place.

 

He might text you back if he finishes cornrowing his pubes and his mom finishes microwaving his lean cuisine for dinner, but for your own sake, don't respond to him. Nothing good will come of this situation.

  • Like 2
Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted
Girl, if it sound too good to be true, it is. He's probably some gross dude sitting in his mom's basement and braiding his pubes.

 

If he was super rich and handsome and had all these women fawning over him, why would he be wasting his time online? He could just call up the build-a-chick headquarters and have some damsels sent directly to his room.

 

You're missing the point. Stop blaming yourself over sending a text. This man was playing with you to see what you would be willing to do and how much crap he could throw your way before you finally said stop.

 

This fantasy in your mind is not real. So you didn't mess anything up. You saved yourself from wasting even more time on a crappy person who probably never planned to meet you in the first place.

 

He might text you back if he finishes cornrowing his pubes and his mom finishes microwaving his lean cuisine for dinner, but for your own sake, don't respond to him. Nothing good will come of this situation.

 

This had me lol :D

 

Very well said

Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted (edited)
He told me that he can get sex whenever he wants. He has a FWB because he needs sex constantly. One of the reasons I was high value to him was because I hammered the point that I wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship. He tried to change my mind, but in the end I said some things that made him believe I was a diamond in the middle of him panning for gold and agreed he would do things my way.

 

When we were talking about what we were looking for, he mentioned that he didn't necessarily go for looks because he had 8's and 9's on his match list but went out with a 7 for personality. (charming huh? :o) He comes from a wealthy family and has a very good job. He is very handsome so it wouldn't surprise me at all if he wasn't lying about having enough girls to keep him busy. I wasn't attracted to those things. I liked him for his wit and his ability to ask good thought provoking questions that led to some really great conversations. He mentioned several times that I was the girl he would bring home to mom and marry so it just surprises me that if he truly did find a diamond, why he'd throw it away so fast. My thinking is he is either punishing me for behaving like a child and will either make contact eventually, or he just really doesn't have time for foolishness and has moved on completely. Either way, the more I talk it out, the more I see that even though diamonds may have imperfections (a bad text) I'm still valuable and rare and if he'd rather throw it away, I wish him well in finding something better.

 

 

One of the reasons I was high value to him was because I hammered the point that I wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship. -- If he had a nickle for every woman who said that to him and ended up having sex with him on the first, second or third date, he'd be rich.

 

These boards have plenty of posts from women who said "OMG, I just had a one-night stand . . . I never do that but this guy was so . . . "

 

My thinking is he is either punishing me for behaving like a child -- Stop being in a guys head, especially, if you've never met him. Yeah, he may reach out again, and if he does, don't respond. You're trying to come up with possible things you've done wrong to put him off when you should be thinking about what HE's done wrong before you did whatever you THINK you might have done.

 

but in the end I said some things that made him believe I was a diamond -- You don't know what he believed. And, he basically told you he was a catch . . . so now he's got a woman who is telling him she's a catch . . . he's a bull**** artist so he's gonna project that on to you . . . "yeah, right, she's all talk, she'll cave in . . ."

Edited by Redhead14
phineas Established Member

phineas

Posted
Posted
I think I will leave the responses to Redhead and Versacehottie...

 

Franky, I'm speechless.

 

I read the first sentence of the post you quoted here and almost spit my beer out on my laptop.

Then I saw you responded and scrolled down without reading the rest.

Willing to bet you have said all that needs to be said.

thguy New Member

thguy

Posted
Posted

Oh my my. I don't believe any of you will be able to pry her away from him. He's a jerk of course but he has the ladies in a line dreaming of being his wife.

Gr8fuln2020 Established Member

Gr8fuln2020

Posted
Posted

"Tall, handsome, intelligent and a real catch. I played hard to get which hooked him and we created a special chemistry (as much as you can through text) Like the dominating male he is, he told me he wouldn't ask me out until I was finished dating other men as he wanted to be THE option not AN option. I was frustrated and emotional over a work issue and regretfully sent a passive aggressive text. I am not needy or desperate but since we never met in person, he doesn't know this. I immediately apologized but he hasn't responded since."

 

You describe all of the characteristics that, in no way, gives clues to his personality that would include being loyal, compromising (for the right reasons) and responsive. You had to "play" a game just to get him to respond to you. He wants to be the the only option FOR YOU. Not for him, believe me. Control. You say that you are not needy or desperate, but you have this need to contact this elusive "alpha-male." Why in the world would you apologize to a total stranger and then worry that he has not responded????? I suspect that you do have needy/desperate tendencies.

  • Like 1
Jabron1 Established Member

Jabron1

Posted
Posted

I've read everything, and will give my thoughts.

 

He told me that he can get sex whenever he wants.

 

Screams insecure, and low-value.

 

One of the reasons I was high value to him was because I hammered the point that I wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship. He tried to change my mind, but in the end I said some things that made him believe I was a diamond in the middle of him panning for gold and agreed he would do things my way.

 

He ain't no alpha.

 

No further proof required.

 

When we were talking about what we were looking for, he mentioned that he didn't necessarily go for looks because he had 8's and 9's on his match list but went out with a 7 for personality. (charming huh? :o)

 

Without even any irony, or humour... all the charm of a mafia kick.

 

Still worked though, didn't it? :laugh:

 

You need to have a think about what is up with that.

 

He comes from a wealthy family and has a very good job. He is very handsome so it wouldn't surprise me at all if he wasn't lying about having enough girls to keep him busy. I wasn't attracted to those things.

 

I think you were attracted to those things, if I'm honest.

 

Guy's game is lousy otherwise.

 

Have you ever actually met an alpha guy in real life? I think that you and this guy have both been reading erotic fiction/50 shades and all that.

 

What I'm picking up on is that this guy is trying to overcompensate, and that you and he have some sort of idealization going on.

 

He mentioned several times that I was the girl he would bring home to mom and marry so it just surprises me that if he truly did find a diamond, why he'd throw it away so fast.

 

So he's an alpha that got talked straight into exclusivity, and starts planning a marriage with a girl that he only knows for 2 weeks and hasn't had a date with?

 

He's a lying cad with crappy game. Lying cads are weak men.

 

My thinking is he is either punishing me for behaving like a child and will either make contact eventually, or he just really doesn't have time for foolishness and has moved on completely.

 

Who cares? Next.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...