kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 I managed to get enough courage to leave my ex. Found out about 3 weeks ago that he cheated on me for the past 2 years out of 6 years that we've been dating. Found pics and videos of their sexapades, etc. read his convos to his friends bashing me, etc. I don't regret leaving but I don't really know how I feel. I have mixed emotions. Mad, sad, confused. I have said everything i needed to say. What's next? Nc? Blocked?
mg101 Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 Congratulations!! Yes block and NC. Only thing that's been working for me. You'll miss him, have random doubts, etc, but you'll get better. You've said what you need to, which is more than I can say. I just blocked and NCd end of may and stuck to it. No closure convo and that's prolly for the best. Less chances for manipulation. Keep busy and vent here if you need to, but don't falter. You did the right thing 2
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 17, 2016 Author Posted July 17, 2016 I'll stay strong. I can do it. I deserve better. 4
Bialy Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 Awesome!! That cheater does not deserve you! BLOCK. Don't reach out to him because it's a sign of weakness and he will try to use it as a way to get back into your life. Do not allow him to emotionally manipulate you. Now's the time to take a deep breath and relax. No more worries about that cheater. Spend time with family, friends, and have a great stress-free summer! If you're ever tempted to reach out to him, post here! This is a great forum for support. 4
WonderKid Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 Yeah man I think you should do NC certainly. And block. Remove him from your circle. At least you know the value he had on the RS. 1
juniorrocha Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 What is RS? That means relationship. Also, please, do NOT go back to this guy. No matter what. You do deserve better. It may be confusing right now, but in time things will clear up in your head, especially because he's the one who ****ed up everything. You'll be fine. Glad you walked away from someone who doesn't respect you. 2
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 17, 2016 Author Posted July 17, 2016 That means relationship. Also, please, do NOT go back to this guy. No matter what. You do deserve better. It may be confusing right now, but in time things will clear up in your head, especially because he's the one who ****ed up everything. You'll be fine. Glad you walked away from someone who doesn't respect you. I will definately not go back. Last time he told me to come back, was when he continued to see the other woman and strung me along the whole time. If she was in his life before me and it is blantly obvious that he has feelings for her, he will always find a way to get back with her. They currently aren't talking because I exposed her to her BF and friends , fam etc on fb and she took his anger out on him.. But guess what? She won. She got her BF back and will prob sooner or later fall back into contact with him.
hestheone66 Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 I know what it's like to up and leave. Mine wasn't a cheater but was an all round douchebag..the first month was stressful but I knew I wouldn't break NC, it was the many months later when emotions had died down that he attempted to reach out saying I owed him explanation, and that I forgive others so why not him...lots of emotional manipulation. I blocked on fb and nearly wavered. Friends were a great support at the time...I'm 6 years on and have never been happier...stay strong, you're worth it. 1
juniorrocha Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 There's no win about that. Eventually her bf will find out as well, and they're going to break up anyway. Nothing in this life lasts if it's based on mistrust, disrespect and dishonesty. The only person who's winning here is you, who got rid of an a-hole and is now free to find someone nice. 1
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 17, 2016 Author Posted July 17, 2016 I know what it's like to up and leave. Mine wasn't a cheater but was an all round douchebag..the first month was stressful but I knew I wouldn't break NC, it was the many months later when emotions had died down that he attempted to reach out saying I owed him explanation, and that I forgive others so why not him...lots of emotional manipulation. I blocked on fb and nearly wavered. Friends were a great support at the time...I'm 6 years on and have never been happier...stay strong, you're worth it. Yeah I rather have a douche bag then a cheater but none is better then the other. Yes I know I'm worth it and he has been treating me like sh*** but I guess things like this finally made me realize that I need to get out. 6 years together, no marriage, going no where... No ones getting any younger. I deserve more I'm worth it and I know it! Thank u! <3
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 17, 2016 Author Posted July 17, 2016 There's no win about that. Eventually her bf will find out as well, and they're going to break up anyway. Nothing in this life lasts if it's based on mistrust, disrespect and dishonesty. The only person who's winning here is you, who got rid of an a-hole and is now free to find someone nice. He BF did know!' I Fb mesGaged him!! I showed him proof! But he wanted to come meet me and HAve me show him videos etc. I did not want him bringing her along or God knows what his intentions R so I didn't meet up wit him. But he knew it all. I guess yea I am the winner out of here. He decided to stay wit her... He turned on me and gave her all the info we talked bout. She had her spell on him and my ex., makes me feel like trash. So unwanted. Worthless.
SevenCity Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 He BF did know!' I Fb mesGaged him!! I showed him proof! But he wanted to come meet me and HAve me show him videos etc. I did not want him bringing her along or God knows what his intentions R so I didn't meet up wit him. But he knew it all. I guess yea I am the winner out of here. He decided to stay wit her... He turned on me and gave her all the info we talked bout. She had her spell on him and my ex., makes me feel like trash. So unwanted. Worthless. I've often seen people here recommending exposing infidelity. I really wonder if that is the best approach? 1
Giggles666 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Exposing infidelity is a tough call, often times if it revenge motived I would say no. As I said though, tough call. If I know the person being cheated on, if they were someone I cared about and had ironclad proof, sure. I recently dated a girl I knew for almost 20 years, and for some reason one of her friends was telling her I was abusive to my ex, so she broke up with me never told me why she broke up with me etc. I recently found out, because funny enough people who gossip have big mouths and it got back to my ex lol. She values me luckily and I her. Long story short my ex contacted my friend of 20 years told her things were not true and for some reason my friend of 20 years said it was too much drama. The friend of 20 years and I now have talked and I told her how frustrating the situation was, I had no control over any of it. Her final answer, "we can't be friends just too much drama". So basically she's fine with her gossipy liar friend but I caused drama because someone else spread rumors about me lol. Moral of the story, sometimes things are out of our control and sometimes you let sleeping dogs lie I suppose. Mind you these women are in their late 40s, so the other moral is, at least to me....age doesn't mean maturity. To make it even more complicated and juicy, the gossipy girl who made stuff up about me has a husband who cheats on her and I have proof of it. My initial thought was for revenge, but I want to be a bigger person and realized revenge is not justice. Justice is the gossipy girl finding out on her own that her loving husband is not so loving...all in due time. 1
Giggles666 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 I'm sorry to hear your ex is a scum bag sociopath, kristyxxbrickley24. I am sure you do have mixed emotions, I am sure in the end you will be just fine and find someone much better to have in your life. As an earlier poster said, vent to us. Cut that cancer out of your life. Take control of your situation and let the ex deal with his own crap life he is creating for himself. 1
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 Exposing infidelity is a tough call, often times if it revenge motived I would say no. As I said though, tough call. If I know the person being cheated on, if they were someone I cared about and had ironclad proof, sure. I recently dated a girl I knew for almost 20 years, and for some reason one of her friends was telling her I was abusive to my ex, so she broke up with me never told me why she broke up with me etc. I recently found out, because funny enough people who gossip have big mouths and it got back to my ex lol. She values me luckily and I her. Long story short my ex contacted my friend of 20 years told her things were not true and for some reason my friend of 20 years said it was too much drama. The friend of 20 years and I now have talked and I told her how frustrating the situation was, I had no control over any of it. Her final answer, "we can't be friends just too much drama". So basically she's fine with her gossipy liar friend but I caused drama because someone else spread rumors about me lol. Moral of the story, sometimes things are out of our control and sometimes you let sleeping dogs lie I suppose. Mind you these women are in their late 40s, so the other moral is, at least to me....age doesn't mean maturity. To make it even more complicated and juicy, the gossipy girl who made stuff up about me has a husband who cheats on her and I have proof of it. My initial thought was for revenge, but I want to be a bigger person and realized revenge is not justice. Justice is the gossipy girl finding out on her own that her loving husband is not so loving...all in due time. I am in my early 30s and yes, I did the immature approach and blew up her spot on Fb, messaged her BF and a few of her friends and family... But I only sent her BF the nude pics for proof. She even called the cops on me but they couldn't do anything because I had not done enough damage. I'm not that dumb to go full blown to send nudes etc to all her friends because it is not worth jail/prison time. I will not go to jail for some hoodrat. I would've just been mad at the ex but she knew about me. I didn't do anything to her -- and in these sick videos of theirs-- she had some messages for me... Why? Because maybe the POS was feeding her bs about me. For some reason, I think he was intending to show me but said he never meant to show me.. So. I said he is more messed up then I had thought that because who the hell does that!!
Author kristyxxbrickley24 Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 I've often seen people here recommending exposing infidelity. I really wonder if that is the best approach? Hehe I say expose expose expose.. Just don't cross the line. Make them sweat a lil, make them embarrassed. Make them think twice about next time
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