Using a gaming app to approach women in public

[Kamille]

Out of curiosity LATP: how often do you go on dates?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Out of curiosity LATP: how often do you go on dates?

 

Please PM me, as this isn't on topic.

[AMJ]

Many women in their 30's and up are a little judgemental when it comes to men playing any video games, but not all of them are like that. I think Pokemon GO has quite a few ladies in that age bracket playing. I know the girl I am seeing is into it a little, and I have seen plenty of older people out playing it. When I was out today, I had a dude in his 50's playing in the same park my date and I were in.

 

IMO, any woman who suddenly would not be attracted to a guy because of a harmless hobby is undateable anyway. A woman not dating a man because he likes Pokemon would be like me saying I wouldn't date a girl that plays Monopoly. It's just silly. I have more important things I look for in a partner. Another reason some guys prefer younger ladies. More fun, less judgemental about dumb crap.

 

Well, hobbies sometimes say a lot about a person. I was talking to a guy who mentioned he spent a weekend binge-watching Gillmore Girls (very girly US TV show). I've never once watched that show, but from previews it never looked like anything I'd enjoy watching. I can't imagine why anyone would want to spend an entire weekend watching TV unless you were physically sick in bed. That combined with his love of spin class and a few other quirky things and I knew we weren't compatible.

 

Also I was just as turned off by guys who play video games in my 20s as I am now. Not all young women are "fun and less judgmental" as you put it, i'd say lack of standards or self-awareness. I don't think negatively upon adults who want to play video games or pokemon; my two 60 year old aunts like to drink wine and play it, it's pretty funny to watch them. It's just not my cup of tea. Would Pokemon in itself be a deal breaker? No. But the point of this thread is using the game to pick up women. I guess I can see how that would work for some, but OP is always posting about having a hard time approaching women in public. And using Pokemon as a crutch isn't going to resolve that. In other words- if you're going to be successful approaching women in public, you can do it with or without pokemon.

 

Why does not being attracted to someone for a particular reason make anyone a bad, judgmental person? We all have preferences, we all have needs for compatibility.

Edited July 22, 2016 by AMJ

[Els]

Also I was just as turned off by guys who play video games in my 20s as I am now. Not all young women are "fun and less judgmental" as you put it, i'd say lack of standards or self-awareness.

 

I was with you all the way... up to this part. Why does being attracted to gamers automatically make a woman 'lacking in standards or self-awareness'? I agree that it's totally fine for people to like what they like, but why are gamers the exception to that?

 

I enjoy, even prefer, guys who play games moderately (key word). That means we share a common interest. Nothing wrong with other women preferring otherwise, but not sure why my preference should be up for insult. I certainly wouldn't say that women who date men with hobbies that would turn me off (hunting, clubbing, etc) are 'lacking in standards/self-awareness'...

[SwordofFlame]

I was with you all the way... up to this part. Why does being attracted to gamers automatically make a woman 'lacking in standards or self-awareness'? I agree that it's totally fine for people to like what they like, but why are gamers the exception to that?

 

I enjoy, even prefer, guys who play games moderately (key word). That means we share a common interest. Nothing wrong with other women preferring otherwise, but not sure why my preference should be up for insult. I certainly wouldn't say that women who date men with hobbies that would turn me off (hunting, clubbing, etc) are 'lacking in standards/self-awareness'...

 

It may be due to the stereotype that video gamers are socially awkward nerds.

[Els]

It may be due to the stereotype that video gamers are socially awkward nerds.

 

Ah, stereotypes. I'm sure it holds true for some (like the dude in the OP), but fortunately not all...

 

FWIW, the majority of gamers I know have a successful career, friends, a LTR/marriage, and certainly know what it means when a woman walks away from you!

[AMJ]

I was with you all the way... up to this part. Why does being attracted to gamers automatically make a woman 'lacking in standards or self-awareness'? I agree that it's totally fine for people to like what they like, but why are gamers the exception to that?

 

I enjoy, even prefer, guys who play games moderately (key word). That means we share a common interest. Nothing wrong with other women preferring otherwise, but not sure why my preference should be up for insult. I certainly wouldn't say that women who date men with hobbies that would turn me off (hunting, clubbing, etc) are 'lacking in standards/self-awareness'...

 

I didn't articulate that well. I'm responding to his idea that younger women are so much more accepting and fun, non-judgmental. I say, if you find younger women who have no standards and date people they aren't compatible with, it's because they have no self awareness. They're not more "fun" than older women.

 

Which is why those relationships with "fun" women aren't going to last. Eventually the woman learns- this guy isn't a good fit for me. She either tries to change him or dumps him. This goes for men too- and for the most part that's the way dating should be when we're young. But if an older guy wants to date younger women because "they're more accepting and less judgmental", he's not really seeing reality. She's not more accepting, she doesn't have self awareness.

[normal person]

IMO, any woman who suddenly would not be attracted to a guy because of a harmless hobby is undateable anyway. A woman not dating a man because he likes Pokemon would be like me saying I wouldn't date a girl that plays Monopoly. It's just silly. I have more important things I look for in a partner. Another reason some guys prefer younger ladies. More fun, less judgemental about dumb crap.

 

With all due respect, you can think it's juvenile and still have other standards. Saying "I have more important things to look for in a partner" doesn't mean that it's not off-putting.

 

I can see the appeal of playing a game on your phone on the subway when there's no cell service, or just as a way to kill some time when it's unavoidable, but there's a difference between that (conceding to it), and actively doing it in favor of something else (prioritizing it). If a girl played Monopoly with the same sort of fervor or time investment some people play Pokemon, you'd have a point. But I don't see that being the case. How often do people play in their 20s play Monopoly, or board games at all? It's no different.

 

And to lots of people, spending an inordinate amount of time (or any) playing games is, in fact, "dumb crap."

 

Consider some reasons why a woman wouldn't date a grown man because of "harmless hobby" like video games:

 

1). The person is broadcasting the fact that he has nothing better to do

2). It's a method escapism that seems particularly infantile (playing "pretend")

3). It's irresponsible to engage in infantile escapism when you could be doing something to improve your life in the real world. Instead of advancing in your own life (or that of a potential partners), you'd rather advance in a fake life that has no tangible benefits. It's a complete waste of precious time.

 

In that sense, the women who eschew these sorts of men are the ones with their heads on straight, in my opinion. They're the women who value real life pragmatism over make believe escapism. You will not see any woman worth her salt playing Pokemon when she could be doing something to actually benefit her own, real, life. The women who think it's a waste of time, that think people should spend the little time they have pursuing actual achievements and advancements(not fictional ones) are the ones to bet your chips on. You will never be able to convince me that a girl who would prefer a guy plays a video game where he pretends to be something else to a guy who spends his time fixing things around the house, working on his business, and prioritizing his real life is better than one who thinks it's a complete waste of precious time. Sorry. Give me the pragmatist any day.

 

 

Seems that's not even a motivator to respond, esp. since over 30 geeks are hard to find these days. It's kind of like finding a unicorn.

 

Probably because people in their 30s (hopefully) realize that it's more beneficial to prioritize things in their real life and not waste time indulging in things that have no benefit.

 

That's what sucks about online dating, had I met them in person, I'm pretty sure I'd gotten the digits and date...it's just that these ladies get inundated with emails they just overlook a lot of them.

 

It's interesting you say that, I've been out with some very desirable girls I met via OLD in the biggest city in the country. They never have a problem messaging me or continuing and revisiting the conversation even after being supposedly "inundated" with more messages. A lot of them say they only get a few messages a day. Hardly unmanageable. If a woman wants to go out with you, she'll make it easy for you, and oftentimes do the legwork herself.

[normal person]

I was with you all the way... up to this part. Why does being attracted to gamers automatically make a woman 'lacking in standards or self-awareness'? I agree that it's totally fine for people to like what they like, but why are gamers the exception to that?

 

[...]

I enjoy, even prefer, guys who play games moderately (key word). That means we share a common interest.

 

Because if your common interest is inherently juvenile, society doesn't look at you kindly. People with this attitude are subconsciously broadcasting "I'd rather do this worthless thing than something of value, and I prefer a man who would also do this worthless thing rather than something of value because I'm complacent, done expecting my life to get any better, and don't want a guy who will spend his time pushing himself to do better because then I'll have to keep up or he'll leave me for someone who will."

 

To me it just has this subconscious evolutionary feeling of laying down and giving up rather than trying to advance. It's like the women who don't want their guy to go to the gym or look good so that those women themselves don't have to exert any unwanted effort to look good themselves in order to keep them. Another example is men who don't want their women to have jobs, probably because if she had her own money she wouldn't be dependent on him, would raise her standards, and leave him for a better guy. This whole "beta" attitude of people who prefer not to push their own limits, prefer people who don't expect more for themselves or advance their own lives, is antithetical to progress. My guess is that's why, whether or not they realize it, people consider this behavior childish, and why people assume women who tolerate it, encourage it, or are even attracted to it, lack standards.

 

I could never go out with a woman who would prefer me to play video games rather than work on my business, go to the gym, build meaningful interpersonal relationships (without the aid of a video game), or better our lives somehow.

Edited July 22, 2016 by normal person

[LookAtThisPOst]

Ah, stereotypes. I'm sure it holds true for some (like the dude in the OP), but fortunately not all...

 

FWIW, the majority of gamers I know have a successful career, friends, a LTR/marriage, and certainly know what it means when a woman walks away from you!

 

Yeah, I was about to say...when I was doing a lot of gaming in my mid-30s, dont' do it much these days... A LOT of them were married with children.

 

This pretty much debunks any post here where someone states, "It's a usually hobby that doesn't benefit anyone" and actually TIES it into some deep seeded implied "loser" status per other people's presumptuous LS posts.

 

But apparently, people who are sports fanatics...no one bats an eye on this interest.

 

*shrug* go figure

 

It's weird...more and more people are jumping on the "geek" bandwagon, but there are those here that have their head in the sand that it's some kind of useless interest not popular with the "normal' people who are sports fanatics.

 

In fact, I've seen women say, "If you're not into sports, don't email me." I cant' stand sports, so I didn't email her, but it's odd that that was a serious priority for her.

Edited July 22, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

1). The person is broadcasting the fact that he has nothing better to do

2). It's a method escapism that seems particularly infantile (playing "pretend")

3). It's irresponsible to engage in infantile escapism when you could be doing something to improve your life in the real world. Instead of advancing in your own life (or that of a potential partners), you'd rather advance in a fake life that has no tangible benefits. It's a complete waste of precious time.

 

Wow, quite a presumptuous set of bullet points you have there? Funny, would you say the same thing about people who are sports fans are "inherently juvenile"?

 

What makes you think that these gamers don't get out of the house to socialize? It's just like anything else, always in moderation. It's common sense.

Edited July 22, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[normal person]

Wow, quite a presumptuous set of bullet points you have there? Funny, would you say the same thing about people who are sports fans are "inherently juvenile"?

 

Funny you would be so presumptuous about me when 3 weeks ago I decided not go out with a girl a second time because she described herself as "The world's biggest Patriots fan," and I told her that I can't in good consciousness waste a whole Sunday watching men my age getting paid millions of dollars to chase a ball -- I'd much rather spend the time trying to make the millions of dollars myself. I say the same things to my friends who waste inordinate amounts of time in similar things. They can roll their eyes at me all they want -- they'd rather live in a world of escapism, I'd rather accomplish things in real life. I'm very happy, I'm not so sure they are. I do things. They watch people do things.

 

What makes you think that these gamers don't get out of the house to socialize? It's just like anything else, always in moderation. It's common sense.

 

I didn't say they didn't get out of the house to socialize. All I said was that there are less infantile ways to use your time. At some point it behooves you to start dropping juvenile traits and assume some maturity.

 

Some friends and I went to a party last weekend. It was hosted by a guy who's 26 or so, and it was a theme party, the theme being "decades," meaning you dressed up as a stereotypical person from the 60's, 70s, 80s, 90s, whatever. A few younger people (early 20s) dressed up (as they do) but most didn't (because it's childish, they have other places to go afterwards, etc), but I was quite perplexed by my friend who just turned 30 who also decided it would be totally normal to, at his age, go in full costume. All our friends late 20's and older, including the super hot girl he's been spending time with, found it really stupid that he'd actually subscribe to this sort of thing.

 

Stuff like this doesn't mean you don't socialize, but by no means does it help improve your standing or image with people with adult lives, priorities, and values. Some people might not have a problem with it, and some people will actively look down on you for it. No one will think you're better for it, and if they do, they probably aren't prioritizing the right things themselves. It has no positive affect. Adults acting like adults are more attractive than adults acting like children. Go ahead and try to convince me otherwise.

Edited July 22, 2016 by normal person

[LookAtThisPOst]

Some friends and I went to a party last weekend. It was hosted by a guy who's 26 or so, and it was a theme party, the theme being "decades," meaning you dressed up as a stereotypical person from the 60's, 70s, 80s, 90s, whatever. A few younger people (early 20s) dressed up (as they do) but most didn't (because it's childish, they have other places to go afterwards, etc), but I was quite perplexed by my friend who just turned 30 who also decided it would be totally normal to, at his age, go in full costume. All our friends late 20's and older, including the super hot girl he's been spending time with, found it really stupid that he'd actually subscribe to this sort of thing.

 

Well, it's your opinion to think it's infantile, in fact, said you want to the party yourself. So...pot meets kettle. ;-) Kind of make me wonder why you went in the first place if it's not your thing, in fact by being in the environment, but not dressed, makes it just as infantile.

 

With friends like those, who needs enemies by the way. Of course, I'm a pretty good judge of character and in fact, I probably wouldn't invited those "rain on other peoples' parade" types in the first place.

[normal person]

Well, it's your opinion to think it's infantile, in fact, said you want to the party yourself. So...pot meets kettle. ;-)

 

Kind of make me wonder why you went in the first place if it's not your thing, in fact by being in the environment, but not dressed, makes it just as infantile.

 

Now who's being presumptuous?

 

We went because it was a party and there were other people there to hang out with, not because of the theme. He was the one invited and only mentioned the "theme" to everyone else in passing, who I assume disregarded it like I did. Only 10% of people actually bought into the whole costuming, and seemingly only one person (my friend) did so beyond their mid twenties. Dressing up at that age is the infantile aspect of it, not the act of going to a party. The other 90% of people there were seemingly aware of this. It was understood and/or unimportant in the context of enjoying the party.

 

With friends like those, who needs enemies by the way. Of course, I'm a pretty good judge of character and in fact, I probably wouldn't invited those "rain on other peoples' parade" types in the first place.

 

Yeah, I'm such a horrible friend, right? I neglected to mention that this is the same friend who I recently staged an intervention for and forced to go to therapy for an unrelated issue a few weeks ago, for which he's profusely thanked me. And never once did I "rain on the parade," I just know how to have fun while maintaining most semblances of maturity. I was happy to go -- dressed like an adult. I got a text the next morning from someone saying they were happy they saw me and that I was there.

 

I'm not going to say I'm immune from criticism -- I spent half the night on the roof drinking, talking, and kissing this girl (we're 29 and 27 respectively). We might've gotten a little sloppy and it might've been somewhat unbecoming of someone my age. After doing that for a while, I drunkenly tried to extract her phone number with a "Do you wanna hang out?" and she said "No, you say this to me: I'm having a great time with you, I think you're really nice and it'd be great to see you again." Normally I'd know better, but I was drunk. That being said, I texted her the next day, she thanked me for being a "man of my word," we laughed about how we got drunk on the roof, and I've since taken her on a dignified night out to a great restaurant and repaired my image, if it was even tarnished. I really like her and we're going out again.

 

As I said earlier, society looks on some behaviors a lot less favorably than others. Had I been dressed up in full 90's garb with MC Hammer pants at my age, she likely wouldn't have wanted much to do with me. The same goes if I wanted to play Pokemon. The same goes if I was snorting coke. I'm not saying I'm better or more mature than anyone who does this stuff, but from what I can see, my "slip ups" (which I'm not proud of), like occasionally getting drunk, hooking up with someone, etc, fall more in a socially acceptable sphere. I don't feel so bad about my behavior because it was consensual with a great girl (plus she was the one giving me drinks), it created an interpersonal relationship, and I'm now benefitting from it. Would I act more mature next time? Of course. I'll do my best to improve. I'm far from perfect. So it wasn't my classiest moment, but consider these two scenarios:

 

1). "Normal Person and X spent half the night on the roof, avoiding everyone, drinking, and making out like they're still in college. (Eye roll)."

 

2). "Normal Person's friend is 30 years old and felt the need to dress up for this thing like he's still in college. (Eye roll). "

 

Think about the social acceptability through the lens. I acted far from mature, but one scenario has a positive outcome, one doesn't. That I was aware of in the act. I read an article about an animal shelter that provided people with dogs to walk while they play Pokemon and people are actually adopting the dogs like crazy. Positive outcome for the shelter.

 

If a desirable girl ever looks down on me for not prioritizing Pokemon, or dumb costumes, or sports fanaticism, over something practical that affects my real life, I'll gladly eat my words, I just don't see it happening anytime soon, therefore, no positive outcome for the individual. If you can manage to sell your gaming as sexuality, like I did my drunkenness, by all means, do it! I just don't think many people can.

Edited July 22, 2016 by normal person

[LookAtThisPOst]

Now who's being presumptuous?

 

We went because it was a party and there were other people there to hang out with, not because of the theme. He was the one invited and only mentioned the "theme" to everyone else in passing, who I assume disregarded it like I did. Only 10% of people actually bought into the whole costuming, and seemingly only one person (my friend) did so beyond their mid twenties. Dressing up at that age is the infantile aspect of it, not the act of going to a party. The other 90% of people there were seemingly aware of this. It was understood and/or unimportant in the context of enjoying the party.

 

 

 

Yeah, I'm such a horrible friend, right? I neglected to mention that this is the same friend who I recently staged an intervention for and forced to go to therapy for an unrelated issue a few weeks ago, for which he's profusely thanked me. And never once did I "rain on the parade," I just know how to have fun while maintaining most semblances of maturity. I was happy to go -- dressed like an adult. I got a text the next morning from someone saying they were happy they saw me and that I was there.

 

I'm not going to say I'm immune from criticism -- I spent half the night on the roof drinking, talking, and kissing this girl (we're 29 and 27 respectively). We might've gotten a little sloppy and it might've been somewhat unbecoming of someone my age. After doing that for a while, I drunkenly tried to extract her phone number with a "Do you wanna hang out?" and she said "No, you say this to me: I'm having a great time with you, I think you're really nice and it'd be great to see you again." Normally I'd know better, but I was drunk. That being said, I texted her the next day, she thanked me for being a "man of my word," we laughed about how we got drunk on the roof, and I've since taken her on a dignified night out to a great restaurant and repaired my image, if it was even tarnished. I really like her and we're going out again.

 

As I said earlier, society looks on some behaviors a lot less favorably than others. Had I been dressed up in full 90's garb with MC Hammer pants at my age, she likely wouldn't have wanted much to do with me. The same goes if I wanted to play Pokemon. The same goes if I was snorting coke. I'm not saying I'm better or more mature than anyone who does this stuff, but from what I can see, my "slip ups" (which I'm not proud of), like occasionally getting drunk, hooking up with someone, etc, fall more in a socially acceptable sphere. I don't feel so bad about my behavior because it was consensual with a great girl (plus she was the one giving me drinks), it created an interpersonal relationship, and I'm now benefitting from it. Would I act more mature next time? Of course. I'll do my best to improve. I'm far from perfect. So it wasn't my classiest moment, but consider these two scenarios:

 

1). "Normal Person and X spent half the night on the roof, avoiding everyone, drinking, and making out like they're still in college. (Eye roll)."

 

2). "Normal Person's friend is 30 years old and felt the need to dress up for this thing like he's still in college. (Eye roll). "

 

Think about the social acceptability through the lens. I acted far from mature, but one scenario has a positive outcome, one doesn't. That I was aware of in the act. I read an article about an animal shelter that provided people with dogs to walk while they play Pokemon and people are actually adopting the dogs like crazy. Positive outcome for the shelter.

 

If a desirable girl ever looks down on me for not prioritizing Pokemon, or dumb costumes, or sports fanaticism, over something practical that affects my real life, I'll gladly eat my words, I just don't see it happening anytime soon, therefore, no positive outcome for the individual. If you can manage to sell your gaming as sexuality, like I did my drunkenness, by all means, do it! I just don't think many people can.

 

Oh, this is your way of bragging you scored? Talk about a long narcissistic diatribe getting drunk...I could say that is indeed nonconstructive.

 

If you can manage to sell your gaming as sexuality, like I did my drunkenness, by all means, do it! I just don't think many people can.

 

Can't really say how ridiculous that sounds, comparing gaming/sports to plastered on a rooftop with a cheap woman.

[normal person]

Oh, this is your way of bragging you scored? Talk about a long narcissistic diatribe getting drunk...I could say that is indeed nonconstructive.

 

So did you want to address anything I said with actual arguments, or is this just an ad hominem post? I don't see how speaking anonymously to strangers who have no idea who I am is considered bragging. Nor do I consider kissing someone to be any kind of a triumph.

 

The point remains: there are degrees of behavior society tends to find uncouth and/or unflattering, and we're talking about it in the interpersonal implications of it. Some of this behavior can be conducive to constructing interpersonal relationships (drinking and drugs -- I'm not endorsing this), some of it just has sex appeal (women's affinity for "bad boys" or rebels). Video games don't have the same image in society, hence why you had to start a thread debating the viability of using a game to meet women. Has anyone ever started a thread that asked "Is drinking alcohol helpful for meeting women?" Usually it is. Everyone knows that. Society accepts it, to an extent.

 

But all these things don't have equal value, or equal negative value. You can leverage drinking to your advantage. You can leverage rebelliousness to your advantage. Doubtful my friend could use his 90s costume in any practical way, because his girl was shaking her head at it. Doubtful invoking video games would help at all either. That's the world we live in. If you're trying figure out how to make video games a good tool for meeting women, that's fine. I like the initiative -- however I'm expressing my opinion on why I think it won't work and will continue to be an uphill battle given the societal context.

 

 

Can't really say how ridiculous that sounds, comparing gaming/sports to plastered on a rooftop with a cheap woman.

 

And I think grown adults playing video games or being fanatical about sports, or anything else that doesn't provide some sort of beneficial return on their time is ridiculous. Yet here you are starting a thread debating methodology of how to possibly get a woman, and here I am with one and an analogy about acceptable behaviors. I have very few problems with women, yet people who do have a lot of problems with them love to fight with me about video games, methodology, etc. Do what works for you. If you can figure it out.

 

Oh, and "lol" at "cheap woman." Talk about presumptuous.

[ses]

I definitely think there's a fair line between obsession/social awkwardness and a hobby. I know plenty of successful people with jobs and LTRs who enjoy playing games for fun — it's not a detriment to their life. I think it becomes a problem when it affects your quality of life and personal relationships. I remember a friend of mine who relayed to me an incident several years ago when her fiancé was playing COD while his young daughter was laying face down on the couch.

 

Gaming is fine in moderation. I grew up in Korea, and that country is known for an extreme gaming culture where it's common to see people playing games for upwards of 24 hours. Unless you're a professional gamer and you're deriving a salary from it, you shouldn't be preoccupied with it.

 

If two people meet while they're playing Pokemon Go, that's cool; however, I would be upset if someone took their phone out while we're on a date or doing another activity. Approach someone if you want, but if they reject you, move on and don't stalk.

Edited July 22, 2016 by ses

[LookAtThisPOst]

Yet here you are starting a thread debating methodology of how to possibly get a woman, and here I am with one and an analogy about acceptable behaviors. I have very few problems with women, yet people who do have a lot of problems with them love to fight with me about video games, methodology, etc. Do what works for you. If you can figure it out.

 

I'm just saying what you're coming up are just theories and speculation about what society finds acceptable, waste of time, or whatever and speaking of it as if it's a fact.

[MGX]

Yeah, I know what you mean. Funny, I emailed quite a few geek girls on OK Cupid, remarking on their pictures at the local convention and such. I would typically get a little more excited considering I figured I might get response from them because I'd get a little more into talking about said convention and other "geeky interests, only to be ignored.

 

Seems that's not even a motivator to respond, esp. since over 30 geeks are hard to find these days. It's kind of like finding a unicorn.

 

Not where I'm at. Tons of guys over 30 are into geek culture (with geeky women being way harder to find). Being a geek is no longer a bad or childish thing as so much of the culture is crossing into the mainstream. Years ago, only gamers cared about Pokemon. Now Pokemon is currently bigger than Twitter. Years ago, only geeks knew who the character Tony Stark was. Now everyone and their mother knows.

 

Geek culture is mined for movies, video games and television--entertainment period. There's a reason why that little comic book convention down in San Diego this weekend is going to have so much attention by the media.

[MGX]

Funny you would be so presumptuous about me when 3 weeks ago I decided not go out with a girl a second time because she described herself as "The world's biggest Patriots fan," and I told her that I can't in good consciousness waste a whole Sunday watching men my age getting paid millions of dollars to chase a ball -- I'd much rather spend the time trying to make the millions of dollars myself. I say the same things to my friends who waste inordinate amounts of time in similar things. They can roll their eyes at me all they want -- they'd rather live in a world of escapism, I'd rather accomplish things in real life. I'm very happy, I'm not so sure they are. I do things. They watch people do things.

 

Damn, you're not into sports either? What do you do for fun?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Not where I'm at. Tons of guys over 30 are into geek culture (with geeky women being way harder to find). Being a geek is no longer a bad or childish thing as so much of the culture is crossing into the mainstream. Years ago, only gamers cared about Pokemon. Now Pokemon is currently bigger than Twitter. Years ago, only geeks knew who the character Tony Stark was. Now everyone and their mother knows.

 

Geek culture is mined for movies, video games and television--entertainment period. There's a reason why that little comic book convention down in San Diego this weekend is going to have so much attention by the media.

 

Right, but according to some posters here that "little" con in San Diego is for "infantile" folks. The place sells out, so that's a lot of infants. He must be still stuck in the 80s where geeks were made fun of. lol

 

Damn, you're not into sports either? What do you do for fun?

 

Make fun of people at "decades" theme parties, even though he's "too cool" to wear the theme.

[MGX]

Right, but according to some posters here that "little" con in San Diego is for "infantile" folks. The place sells out, so that's a lot of infants. He must be still stuck in the 80s where geeks were made fun of. lol

 

 

 

Make fun of people at "decades" theme parties, even though he's "too cool" to wear the theme.

 

Hey, the LS video game critics and haters can think what they want. You could try to educate them, but if they want to think that all video games are all like Super Mario Bros back in 85', more power to them. So long as you're a responsible adult, who cares what your idea of fun is? You like what you like.

 

You don't need to engage in a pissing contest to see who's idea of fun is better. It all depends on the individual. There are some women who might dig that you're into cosplay, while others might be into getting twisted on rooftops.

[MGX]

I can't imagine why anyone would want to spend an entire weekend watching TV unless you were physically sick in bed.

 

You wanna know what happens next. It's the same thing as reading a book that you can't put down. That's how episodic entertainment works. Why people tune in week after week, to see their favorite cast of doctors/favorite CSI team/favorite superheroes/favorite monster hunters go through their trials.

[LookAtThisPOst]

You wanna know what happens next. It's the same thing as reading a book that you can't put down. That's how episodic entertainment works. Why people tune in week after week, to see their favorite cast of doctors/favorite CSI team/favorite superheroes/favorite monster hunters go through their trials.

 

It's kind of like those people who are smug, saying, "I don't own a TV". With millions tuning into hit shows like The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, and the huge popularity of super hero movies, you'd figured they'd say, "Yeah, okay, I can understand it can be popular with tons of people and how entertainment value."

 

Some people like escapism...I find it hard to believe that there's something wrong with it. Taking a vacation is another form of it.

 

Even in the cave man days, entertainment existed. As human beings we are story tellers and have been since the beginning...such as the drawings on cave walls.

 

To see that as "infantile" is foolish.

[Els]

Because if your common interest is inherently juvenile, society doesn't look at you kindly. People with this attitude are subconsciously broadcasting "I'd rather do this worthless thing than something of value, and I prefer a man who would also do this worthless thing rather than something of value because I'm complacent, done expecting my life to get any better, and don't want a guy who will spend his time pushing himself to do better because then I'll have to keep up or he'll leave me for someone who will."

 

To me it just has this subconscious evolutionary feeling of laying down and giving up rather than trying to advance. It's like the women who don't want their guy to go to the gym or look good so that those women themselves don't have to exert any unwanted effort to look good themselves in order to keep them. Another example is men who don't want their women to have jobs, probably because if she had her own money she wouldn't be dependent on him, would raise her standards, and leave him for a better guy. This whole "beta" attitude of people who prefer not to push their own limits, prefer people who don't expect more for themselves or advance their own lives, is antithetical to progress. My guess is that's why, whether or not they realize it, people consider this behavior childish, and why people assume women who tolerate it, encourage it, or are even attracted to it, lack standards.

 

I could never go out with a woman who would prefer me to play video games rather than work on my business, go to the gym, build meaningful interpersonal relationships (without the aid of a video game), or better our lives somehow.

 

Do you take everything in life this seriously? How exhausting that must be.

 

For crying out loud, it's a hobby. The vast majority of hobbies are not particularly beneficial and the vast majority of normal people don't view life as 'do I spend time bettering myself or am I allowed to indulge in a hobby? '. Am I allowed to go to the bar tonight or does going out mean that I'm not spending that time on my 'personal advancement'? Am I allowed to watch a football game tonight or does watching it mean I have 'given up on life'? Can I paint my nails and soak in the bath after work, or is that 'antithetical to progress'? Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds, especially coming from a person who just spent a good amount of time writing verbose posts on an Internet forum?

 

I do understand what AMJ means now after she clarified with me, and I agree with her. Everyone has the right to choose whom they will or will not date based on compatibility. But some of the assumptions you're making about games are just ridiculous.

 

But yes, I wouldn't date anyone who played games to the extent of harming their 'personal advancement'. Fortunately that is not an issue for anyone who isn't an addict, ergo the vast majority of the human population. And frankly when Elon Musk is capable of doing what he does while being a gamer , I daresay YOU have no place to insist it isn't possible to live a life of accomplishment while having a few hobbies.

 

Also, I don't usually talk about my partner's career on LS, but while you were sitting around throwing snooty digs at him for 'not doing anything of value with his life' due to his choice of hobby, he was likely at the hospital. Working. Saving lives. But oh wait, he plays games, that totally invalidates everything he has ever done, am I right?

Edited July 24, 2016 by Elswyth