question for the men: what do you look for in a woman?

[leogirl876]

Curious what men look for when they are doing the dating process? Besides looks, what else is important? Chemistry? Good conversation? If she laughs at your jokes? What makes you decide to keep calling a woman versus not?

[Weezy1973]

Good conversation, chemistry and sharing the same sense of humour are all part of it. But, then during the date often I'll get a sense of whether or not we'd be compatible long term. There isn't always a formula; sometimes it's just a feeling. For example (and these are both from OLD). I went out for a drink with a woman last week. She was very attractive, smart, great conversation and funny. But it was clear to me pretty quickly that we weren't compatible in many ways, so there was no second date.

 

About a month ago I went on a date with another woman who was cute and again the conversation was good, and I noticed we could be compatible in many ways, but there wasn't any real chemistry on the first date. I still asked her out again to see if it would develop as I got to know her better, but then after 3 dates I still had no desire to kiss her so I didn't pursue anything further.

[SwordofFlame]

Chemistry and compatibility. Need both for a long term relationship, but only need chemistry for casual relationships.

[central]

It depends on what I'm looking for at the time. If it's just casual dating, then it's mostly chemistry - compatibility is nice, but not that important, as long-term wouldn't be expected or desired. If long-term, then both great chemistry and deep compatibility are very important.

[Ami1uwant]

Curious what men look for when they are doing the dating process? Besides looks, what else is important? Chemistry? Good conversation? If she laughs at your jokes? What makes you decide to keep calling a woman versus not?

 

For me looks aren't as important as good conversation, having similar interests, and developing chemistry.

 

For a first date you should always go a 2nd date if no ref flags carom the first date. Many relationships would not have happened if they purely judged by first meeting.

[BaileyB]

 

For a first date you should always go a 2nd date if no ref flags carom the first date. Many relationships would not have happened if they purely judged by first meeting.

 

So true! I totally agree.

[Redhead14]

When I dated, I almost always gave it a second date if the man asked even if I wasn't quite sure. Unless they did something heinous on the first date, I'd give it second. There's often a little "discomfort" and sometimes a little awkwardness by both parties. Why kill the horse for having a false start . . . Secretariat did that a few times . . .

[dpass]

It doesn't matter how attractive the woman is, if I don't feel a connection it's a no-no. Unless I just want sex. If we don't have things in common or things that are important to me she hates (music, sports) then we are not compatible. If we have sex and it's not a good experience generally there wont be another chance.

 

If she plays games, were done asap. If she brings drama everywhere or talks about ex's were done. Any gossip, were done. If she has rules like can't go out on Saturday if he called after Wednesday, were done.

[carhill]

Curious what men look for when they are doing the dating process?

For myself, it was more synergy than obvious stuff. Flow.

Besides looks, what else is important?

I've rarely been around a woman whose looks knocked me out initially. In some cases it took me quite awhile to notice just how beautiful they were.

Chemistry?

Yeah, that synergy and flow thing.

Good conversation?

Where did the time go? Yeah, that helps.

If she laughs at your jokes?

Probably more that she gets them and has some of her own. Usually, laughter and good times go along with the synergy and flow thing.

What makes you decide to keep calling a woman versus not?

If calling her feels like the natural thing to do.

 

I remember wandering off one day with a particular lady and, bla, bla, and suddenly we found we had walked a couple miles down the beach. I had no recollection of how we got that far other than obviously we must've walked. Heck, we could have kept walking to the next town. Now, had she been single and not my best friend's daughter I might have asked her out

 

That's how life goes, for this old guy anyway.

[SevenCity]

I tend to base it on chemistry and looks (that I am attracted to them even if no one else is).

 

My only concern at first is usually sex. It's after that I determine if they are LTR material. I've found people tend to put their best foot forward in the dating phase. I'm not going to find out if they go nuts when having their period, stink up the bathroom doing number 2, or are completely selfish drama queens.

 

By the time we have sex (which is hugely important to me for us to be compatible), they start to let their guard down. I would say by month 6 you've got a pretty good idea of the woman (and how she responds to the REAL you). You've done things by that point that are not dates but routine boring stuff. That's when true colors show.

 

By this point I'm usually ready to make a decision. Just because they are not LTR material doesn't mean I will break it off. I dated a girl for 5 years casually with no mention of I love you ever. We had fun together but I would never want anything serious wih her.

[Mr. Lucky]

Curious what men look for when they are doing the dating process?

 

For me it was someone who liked to have fun, enjoyed laughing (self-deprecating a plus) and had a positive outlook. Whether ONS or LTR, no bigger downer than negativity...

 

Mr. Lucky

[edgygirl]

5 years with no ILY? This girl must be traumatized. I don't really get men who do the things mentioned below.

 

Six months to know someone and decide if she's perfect?

 

That's why dating sucks... our parents made more effort to get along with someone.

 

I tend to base it on chemistry and looks (that I am attracted to them even if no one else is).

 

My only concern at first is usually sex. It's after that I determine if they are LTR material. I've found people tend to put their best foot forward in the dating phase. I'm not going to find out if they go nuts when having their period, stink up the bathroom doing number 2, or are completely selfish drama queens.

 

By the time we have sex (which is hugely important to me for us to be compatible), they start to let their guard down. I would say by month 6 you've got a pretty good idea of the woman (and how she responds to the REAL you). You've done things by that point that are not dates but routine boring stuff. That's when true colors show.

 

By this point I'm usually ready to make a decision. Just because they are not LTR material doesn't mean I will break it off. I dated a girl for 5 years casually with no mention of I love you ever. We had fun together but I would never want anything serious wih her.

[WonderKid]

I would say attractiveness but I look for what's inside. The heart. The internal. Then see if it is possible to develop a connection. The more smiling and laughing we do, the better. Smiling and laughing is quite underrated. And talking.

But I also investigate to see if she is into me. If I can be on her mind more. If that isn't a possibility it won't work.

[madjac74]

Inspired by Jimmy Valvano...You laugh, you think and you cry..Everyday

[mizunomead]

Its hard to put into words sometimes what it is....One of the posters mentioned a synergy or flow with the woman. That sounds like as good of a explanation as anything.

The woman i am currently dating. Was not objectively the best looking woman i had been out on a date with. But she is attractive. However, our first coffee meet in the evening turned into us going...what time is it...oh, midnight. We had spent 4.5 hrs talking, laughing etc. It just flowed.

 

I chalk it up to some kind of mental connection. We just seemed to click that way. We just clicked from the get go, we both felt completely comfortable with each other pretty much right off the bat.