boobay Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 I was in a relationship for a year but we "officially ended" a week ago. We broke up a few times before (usually out of defense or to "wake him up") only to get back together just days after. This cycle started after he initiated a break back in April. I can admit to being needy, impulsive, and desperate after each breakup but this time feels different. I have not once said anything to him and he hasn't said a thing to me; the longest we've ever gone without talking to one another is 2 weeks, max. I started NC (no contact) the day after we last saw one another. It's been 7 days. Long story short, trust issues occurred in the middle of our relationship - he was on an online dating site when I left the island for 2 weeks. Though that was in October and I didn't find out until January, it made me question everything. I told him things he could do in my aid to feeling more secure but he never acted upon them (texting me a little more; texting me back at all; deleting girls off his Instagram, Snapchat; posting me on his social media; etc). By the end of our relationship he told me that I was asking for too much and couldn't do those things for me. We used to see each other 5x a week but had only been seeing each other Sundays the last 3 months of our relationship. It was tough. I felt as if I didn't know him anymore. When I would go to his house, I felt as if I wasn't even a part of his home anymore. I met him only 3 weeks after he got out of his previous relationship? Could I be considered a "rebound" even if we dated for a year? He brought up having commitment issues and admitted to not loving me as I loved him. I just wish he hadn't misled me, and for so long. Our last encounter was the absolute worst. By that time I was fed up and said many hurtful (but true) things to him: how he was a coward, selfish, that I didn't want to see him again... Of course I want to see him again, though, but this man seems so naive to the point he'd take that comment and run with it. He hardly ever was the man to fight for me or chase after me (because I believe I was always too available) but I've been hoping and praying that he'd wake up and see that no one has ever loved him like I did. I just don't know what to do. He still follows me on Instagram and we're still friended on Facebook. Is it possible to ever "change" the mind of a man who's afraid of committing? There's so much to the story but I don't even know what to say.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 I just don't know what to do. He still follows me on Instagram and we're still friended on Facebook. Is it possible to ever "change" the mind of a man who's afraid of committing? Nope. Better women than you have tried and failed miserably. The only way a man will ever change is if HE wants to change. Full stop. Time for you to demand better for yourself.
LD1990 Posted July 22, 2016 Posted July 22, 2016 It's not that he has commitment issues. He just never wanted to fully commit to you. He probably liked you, but his feelings weren't strong enough to want a life with you. That's something you can't change. You can't make anyone love you. All you can do is look for the man who loves you like you love him, and avoid wasting time on men that don't. 1
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