MEOrtega Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 I recently had a breakout of lesions or ulcers on my vulva and vagina. I already went to the GYN where I saw a nurse practitioner that said the sores on my vagina looked suspiciously of herpes and proceeded to do cultures, swabs, a blood test, urine sampleand I'm pretty sure she scraped off something. I told them to test for eveything because even though I'm very positive my boyfriend has been faithful you can never be too safe. Anyways they put me on an antiviral and an antibiotic because I also told them I wasn't sure if I had a UTI because of the burning and I had all the symptoms of one. That was 4 days ago and they said it would take 4-5 days to know the results. I called today but they said the people for the test results aren't in today so I was pretty bummed. They were never in clusters or filled with fluid. They just were red and then had pus in them. I'm not I don't think I have it or I know I do. I'm just very scared and it's been so painful. I can't even urinate without the extreme burning. Now my boyfriend told his mom he needs to go for a blood test and why. If we were teenagers I would have understood but we are in our early twenties. He keeps insisting that she isn't mad or angry or even upset with me and that his mom isn't like that. I've met her and she's has always treated me amazingly but now I don't know how to approach her or even be around her without feeling awkward or thinking that she thinks I'm probably dirty simply by the fact that I may have herpes and the fact that she knows we had intercourse. He says that if she would have felt a certain way she would have said something. Is it okay to be upset with him? I feel like if he was planning on telling his mom he could have came to me first at least. I don't even want to see his mom I feel so ashamed. I never cheated on my guy or was I with anyone before him, and I know people can pass herpes without even knowing they have it. We've been dating almost a year. I don't know if I should be upset or angry at him for this.
Mr. Lucky Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 I never cheated on my guy or was I with anyone before him, and I know people can pass herpes without even knowing they have it. We've been dating almost a year. Have you considered there might be another side to this story - perhaps he was exposed through another recent partner ??? Mr. Lucky 3
lana-banana Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 I think you have plenty of reasons to be angry at him, not least for divulging your sensitive medical information to his mother (!). Based on your previous threads it sounds like your boyfriend has an extremely close relationship with his family, so I understand he might be inclined to tell them private things, but some topics should be off-limits, like incurable viral STDs. Yes, you should be upset. If you have lesions, even small ones, it's going to burn miserably. UTIs are horribly painful but they don't cause lesions or ulcers. I know most STD tests don't include blood testing for herpes, but did you both get tested when you started having sex? If you've been having sex since the beginning it seems unusual (but not impossible, I know) that you'd just now be getting the virus. There could be something less innocent going on as Mr. Lucky suggested. Please keep us posted and take care of yourself. 4
Lois_Griffin Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 So HE'S the only one you've ever had sex with and he's telling his mother YOU'RE the 'dirty' one and he has to get tested because of YOU? I think Romeo has some explaining to do. Seems he's picked up something nasty (probably recently) and handed it off to you. Once I was done putting his lousy lying head through a wall, I'd be demanding answers from this little coward. Be smart and don't ever touch him AGAIN. 5
Art_Critic Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 Seems he's picked up something nasty (probably recently) and handed it off to you. I was thinking the same... As far as him telling his Mom, maybe she will be paying for his bills and she will want to know about it..or maybe he is on her insurance.. He still could have kept your info quiet all the while telling her he had to go for a test. I think your answer will come to light when the test results come in, if it is positive and his is positive then the chances are he gave it to you but if yours is positive and his is negative then you got it from someone else, the virus can stay hidden for a long time.
ChickiePops Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 I agree that the boyfriend sounds like a tool, but even if he did give her herpes, it doesn't automatically mean that he cheated. If she was not his first sexual partner, he could have picked it up before her and it could've been laying dormant so he might not have been aware of it. There are TONS of people out there who have herpes and are not aware of it because they are asymptomatic. I'm sorry to say though that it does indeed sound like herpes. Ouch. But not to worry OP, not only is it very common, but apparently the symptoms fade over time. I had a scare a few years ago (I got lucky and it turned out to be an ingrown hair), but I did a ton of research. I'm sure there are support geoups too. 1
TunaCat Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 I'm close with my mom and my ex was also close with his mom, but I know for a FACT that he had boundaries with her and would never EVER talk about an STD that I could have. Your guy lacks boundaries with his mother and I would be communicating with him exactly how inappropriate him telling her about this was. Granted, it should be common sense, but this guy seems to lack that, at least in this circumstance. 1
Redhead14 Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 (edited) Well, I'd rather have him go to his mother than one of his buds or other people we both might know. Beyond that, I'd hope that his mother was smart enough to know that there's no way to know who gave it to who . . . "I never cheated on my guy or was I with anyone before him" -- Was he a virgin? Edited July 18, 2016 by Redhead14
ChickiePops Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Well, I'd rather have him go to his mother than one of his buds or other people we both might know. Beyond that, I'd hope that his mother was smart enough to know that there's no way to know who gave it to who . . . "I never cheated on my guy or was I with anyone before him" -- Was he a virgin? Except that there is a way to know who gave it to whom, unless the IP is lying about him being her first and only sexual partner.
preraph Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 If you got herpes, it seems like it had to be from him, and he's probably anxious to explain away his herpes to his mother by blaming it on you. Anyway, that's TMI to be telling your mother, so it's not good no matter what. But let's hope that's not what it is. But whatever it is, if you have been faithful, then you got it from him and you do not know if he's been faithful, really. You never know. 1
Redhead14 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Except that there is a way to know who gave it to whom, unless the IP is lying about him being her first and only sexual partner. That was my point . . . Was he a virgin?
bubbaganoosh Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Problem is if she got it from her boyfriend, I don't think he's going to fess up to mumsy and said he passed it on to her and if he did I got a feeling that mumsy wont believe it and think he got it from her.
Redhead14 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Problem is if she got it from her boyfriend, I don't think he's going to fess up to mumsy and said he passed it on to her and if he did I got a feeling that mumsy wont believe it and think he got it from her. We don't know what mumsy would think and neither would he. He didn't fess up as far as we can tell anyway . . . and, if that's the case, he's a mamma's boy. Mamma thinks I'm perfect, her little boy, in which case, she should hit the road anyway.
love1336x Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 I recently had a breakout of lesions or ulcers on my vulva and vagina. I already went to the GYN where I saw a nurse practitioner that said the sores on my vagina looked suspiciously of herpes and proceeded to do cultures, swabs, a blood test, urine sampleand I'm pretty sure she scraped off something. I told them to test for eveything because even though I'm very positive my boyfriend has been faithful you can never be too safe. Anyways they put me on an antiviral and an antibiotic because I also told them I wasn't sure if I had a UTI because of the burning and I had all the symptoms of one. That was 4 days ago and they said it would take 4-5 days to know the results. I called today but they said the people for the test results aren't in today so I was pretty bummed. They were never in clusters or filled with fluid. They just were red and then had pus in them. I'm not I don't think I have it or I know I do. I'm just very scared and it's been so painful. I can't even urinate without the extreme burning. Now my boyfriend told his mom he needs to go for a blood test and why. If we were teenagers I would have understood but we are in our early twenties. He keeps insisting that she isn't mad or angry or even upset with me and that his mom isn't like that. I've met her and she's has always treated me amazingly but now I don't know how to approach her or even be around her without feeling awkward or thinking that she thinks I'm probably dirty simply by the fact that I may have herpes and the fact that she knows we had intercourse. He says that if she would have felt a certain way she would have said something. Is it okay to be upset with him? I feel like if he was planning on telling his mom he could have came to me first at least. I don't even want to see his mom I feel so ashamed. I never cheated on my guy or was I with anyone before him, and I know people can pass herpes without even knowing they have it. We've been dating almost a year. I don't know if I should be upset or angry at him for this. I tell my mother everything, and 65 percent of the time we don't get along. I do it because I like talking to my mother. She listens and understands when she's being a mom. It's a chilling thing to have herpes to be fair, and maybe his mother caused him worry less. He should have ASK you first if it was fine, but I don't know? Herpes also affects him as well. I can understand why you are upset, because I wouldn’t want to be viewed “dirty” or “cheater” either. But not like he told his friends, and other members of the family now that would PISSED me off to no end! Because not everyone's job, but a mom… I dunno, it should be secure ON less she has a BIG mouth and tells everyone!
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