Shining One Posted July 16, 2016 Posted July 16, 2016 Back in my clubbing days, I used to hang out with a big group. It usually included more women than men, but most of the women were taken. The women worked together to make sure none of the taken women went "too far". This way, they could get the benefits of free drinks and dancing partners.
xxoo Posted July 16, 2016 Posted July 16, 2016 Its actions like this that keep women chronically single. It's a form of self-sabotage. Obviously not if she was already taken! 2
preraph Posted July 16, 2016 Posted July 16, 2016 So that never happens then? Sounds like the sisterhood are trying to spin a certain narrative here being so matter of fact when ultimately no-one can know what any of them were thinking. Certainly there was no need for her friend to be so rude, something had obviously got stuck in her craw. Jealousy is a possibility that can't be ruled out, no? The only version of that I have ever seen in my entire lifetime would be a bad girlfriend who whispers in the guy's ear trying to steal him away. But what you're talking about, no. It's insulting to women that you give the pretty one so little credit that you think she's so weak and stupid that she lets people just pull her around and doesn't have a spine or a brain in her head. Is this what your fantasy is, that the girl you're attracted to is more weak and submissive than you, which in your head enables you to take her? 1
Calmandfocused Posted July 16, 2016 Posted July 16, 2016 I think this girl did like you. From the situation you've described I think she was was flirting and was attracted to you. I think the friend felt for whatever reason that she shouldn't be talking to you. Yes, it could have been a boyfriend but could have been many other reasons. I had a friend who I always did this with. The reason?: she would get herself so drunk she didnt know her own name, and was partial to going home with a man at the drop of a hat. She'd wake up motified so I promised her I would try and help her if possible. It wasn't anything against the guys. Some of them seemed really nice. So don't take it personally. I don't think it was you, I think it was the situation. I hope you find a nice lady soon, best wishes. 4
Els Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Its actions like this that keep women chronically single. It's a form of self-sabotage. So... being dragged away from a man because you already have a boyfriend keeps you 'chronically single'? I don't even... 3
JuanDelToro Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 OP. The truth is that some people at times can feel very protective of friends and thus act as c-blockers when their friends are being picked-up. That is not necessarily bad or wrong, it's just human nature, but it does make things a little harder if you're the one doing the approach. In order to avoid the c-block you have to tactfully approach the whole group and not only the person of your interest. If a friend get's a little overzealous and steps over the line then you have to let them know and put her/him back into his place. At the end of the day it is not their business. Be assertive and let'em have it in a nonchalant way. Also very important is to put your body as a physical barrier between your interest and her friends. That move alone will discourage many from running to the rescue. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 I have to add , aren't these people grown adults? There is no need for a friend to cut in on what's going on. They are big girls.
phineas Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 If the friend was ugly she was likely jealous. Depends on the age of the women really. OP is 36. I hope he isn't hitting on 25 yr olds. If he really is awkward around women then it could of been a legit rescue mission. However i doubt he was the reason they left. I hope he wasn't the reason they left. LOL. OP needs to approach more women. period.
elaine567 Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 I have to add , aren't these people grown adults? There is no need for a friend to cut in on what's going on. They are big girls. Exactly, and that is why as a grown girl she went straight out the exit. She even chose to go with the friend, as opposed to staying with the OP, when the friend went to the toilet. At that point she was done. Had she been interested, she would not have left a desirable man on his own to get scooped up by someone else or to wander off. She would have left the friend at least chatting with him, if she needed to go to the toilet, or the friend would have been left to go to the toilet on her own. They chose to go together to get away from the OP. Sorry OP. I guess it was a strategy worked out in advance. The friend didn't sabotage anything. They will have had a code between them that said "Get me away from this guy" or said that "If I get too drunk and too friendly whisk me away before I get too involved." How old was she in fact? 2
Author insert_name Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 OP. The truth is that some people at times can feel very protective of friends and thus act as c-blockers when their friends are being picked-up. That is not necessarily bad or wrong, it's just human nature, but it does make things a little harder if you're the one doing the approach. In order to avoid the c-block you have to tactfully approach the whole group and not only the person of your interest. If a friend get's a little overzealous and steps over the line then you have to let them know and put her/him back into his place. At the end of the day it is not their business. Be assertive and let'em have it in a nonchalant way. Also very important is to put your body as a physical barrier between your interest and her friends. That move alone will discourage many from running to the rescue. Yeah I did try to do that - there was only two of them so it wasn't like a big group I had to win over or anything. I am quite socially aware in situations like that when it comes to making people feel included, I know from experience how rude it is when someone cuts in and starts talking to your friend rather than the group so I made sure I repeated the joke to this girl's friend but her rude response was quite unexpected and aggressive. It soon became clear that she was wearing the trousers out of the pair of them. Dealing with rude friends is another reason why I can't be bothered with women when out and about - people always say it isn't like that but then on the rare occasion I felt there was enough there to make an approach I had to deal with one. Typical!
Aniela Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Its actions like this that keep women chronically single. It's a form of self-sabotage. Depending on the man, going on the date/going further, could be self-sabotage. I have to add , aren't these people grown adults? There is no need for a friend to cut in on what's going on. They are big girls. Have you ever dealt with a man who won't accept that you aren't interested? There's always the possibility of that happening. Friends usually look out for each other. Women are also generally trained to be polite, and whilst a man might "take one for the team" when being a wing man, by flirting with a woman he has no interest in, to leave room for his friend to go after the one he likes, women will often take one for the team, when it comes to receiving the insults of a rejected man: the supposedly, "ugly, aggressive" friend. I've been called similar things, after being hit on by a guy. Also, to the OP: maybe she just didn't hear you?
Author insert_name Posted July 18, 2016 Author Posted July 18, 2016 Depending on the man, going on the date/going further, could be self-sabotage. Have you ever dealt with a man who won't accept that you aren't interested? There's always the possibility of that happening. Friends usually look out for each other. Women are also generally trained to be polite, and whilst a man might "take one for the team" when being a wing man, by flirting with a woman he has no interest in, to leave room for his friend to go after the one he likes, women will often take one for the team, when it comes to receiving the insults of a rejected man: the supposedly, "ugly, aggressive" friend. I've been called similar things, after being hit on by a guy. Also, to the OP: maybe she just didn't hear you? No, she may not, but that doesn't explain her aggressiveness and way of looking at me like I was something she scraped off her shoe. Totally at odds with her friend's behaviour towards me. She had an issue with me for some unknown reason...maybe her friend was taken, maybe she didn't want her friend to meet someone which would ruin her plans for the night by having to play gooesberry, maybe her friend was only faking being nice and really hated my guts, hell maybe the aggressive one was a lesbian who was crushing on the other girl. Who knows? Think I will choose to believe the lesbian angle because for all the information I have it is just as valid a conclusion as the others. We will never know what her beef was.....
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Depending on the man, going on the date/going further, could be self-sabotage. Have you ever dealt with a man who won't accept that you aren't interested? There's always the possibility of that happening. Friends usually look out for each other. Women are also generally trained to be polite, and whilst a man might "take one for the team" when being a wing man, by flirting with a woman he has no interest in, to leave room for his friend to go after the one he likes, women will often take one for the team, when it comes to receiving the insults of a rejected man: the supposedly, "ugly, aggressive" friend. I've been called similar things, after being hit on by a guy. Also, to the OP: maybe she just didn't hear you? Hm, well, I don't hang out in bars, so perhaps I'm trying to compare it to a regular BBQ, Meetup, or house party, etc.
Aniela Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 Hm, well, I don't hang out in bars, so perhaps I'm trying to compare it to a regular BBQ, Meetup, or house party, etc. I don't hang out in them, either. People are usually protective of their friends, wherever they go. 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 18, 2016 Posted July 18, 2016 I don't hang out in them, either. People are usually protective of their friends, wherever they go. Define "protective", if we're talking about socializing, then that's overboard (over protective). If we're talking about walking in a questionable part of town, then I could see the reason.
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