Xlynnax Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 Hello everyone, I am posting here in order to get advice on how to deal with my jealousy when I feel my muslim boyfriend and his mother do something inappropriate. For instance, my boyfriend's father died when he was 15 so they became very close, he is an only child. They moved out of their country so they have no other family. He is now 34. His mother will cook and do his laundry in order to help him (she lives with him). He will sometimes sleep in her room, I think it's not appropriate for someone his age to sleep in his mom's room. Sometimes if I'm already awake he will wake up from his bed and go join her, they chat etc. He said I'm free to join them if I want to. Saw him sit his head on his mom's lap...when I saw this I felt I was the one he should sit his head on..and not his mother. I got irritated and she explained he always sit his head on her laps when she is sick. I acted the way I did because I wouldn't do this with my own father...I know some people wouldn't say anything. Other that that he is a great boyfriend and his mom is a very nice lady, I see her as my friend but I feel my jealousy is gonna destroy our relationship.
Lorenza Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 It's nothing you can change. His bond to his mother is stronger and will always remain this way. My best friend's boyfriend is a muslim and he prioritizes his mother and siblings over her as well. His brother is over 30 and has never ever left home or even cooked for himself. I think that's just different mentality and culture. It is best to date people with same cultural background to avoid frustration. 7
Gaeta Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 This is bigger than you. If you want to have a successful relationship with this man you need to accept this is how things are between them. You cannot go against a man's mother, the battle is lost before you even start. What you have described is a mix of cultural differences and deep ingrained family dynamic. You cannot fight it. How old is his mother? 4
smackie9 Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 I think it's kind of sad that she won't find herself a husband, live life for herself. It's like the both of them have imprisoned themselves. I think a therapist would have a hard time workin on this one. He's 34, I think it's a little too late for him to move on from their dynamic. So sorry I don't see any way to resolve this except to walk away.
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