Kiraboo Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 After spending a lot of time being heartbroken over a fling from last summer, I was feeling lonely and ready to try meeting some new guys so I made a tinder account. Several bad dates and a couple new friends later, I met this guy who we will call Kyle, just in case. Very attractive, all about personal success, hard-working, hopeless romantic kind of guy. After some small talk text on the app, I agreed to go hang out with him on Easter night. We hit it off really well. Unlike most first dates, nothing seemed awkward and I ended up staying the night with him, although we did not have sex. However, I hung out with him a second time 5 days later and we did have sex. After that, I was seeing him once, sometimes twice a week, and just spending the night with him. He was working later nights and I always worked very early mornings, so I’d show up at his place about 10pm when he got home, we’d do our thing, and then I’d be gone at 4:30 the next morning for work. During the days, he would text me or snapchat me just to see how my day was going, and give me random compliments. All this was fine at first, but naturally I found myself getting attached to him and I wanted more from him. I started subtly, then not so subtly hinting that I thought it would be nice for us to go on a real date, and he made it happen, after some nagging. It was really nice, but after the one date, things went back to normal. He would get ahold of me late at night and ask me to come stay, but he wasn’t trying to schedule regular dates or invite me over to hang out during the day when he was free, and I knew he was off every Sunday. He would also text me super late at night when he had been drinking, just to tell me he missed me and to try and persuade me to come over even if I had to be at work in a couple hours. Obviously, so much of this behavior and I started to feel like maybe he was just a sweet talking booty call, so I asked him. I asked him if he saw the potential for a real relationship and I asked him if he was only seeing me. The response I got was of course he saw something there, he didn’t want anyone else, and he never would have been with me for so long if he didn’t see the potential because he wasn’t interested in wasting his time. But still, nothing changed. I was constantly paranoid that he was just lying to me, but then it seemed like he would do something to make me think I was overreacting and that I should cut him a break because he is a hard working man. However, I was growing tired of always driving to him, so whenever I had something going on at my house I would invite him along, but he would always say he had to work early the next morning or that he didn’t feel good, although more than once he inevitably ended up texting me later in the night asking me to come over to his place. Finally, just a couple weeks ago, I had enough of this and I sent him a long detailed text (on account of he told me he wasn’t available when I asked him if I could come talk in person) about how I was feeling, and how he was giving me déjà vu from the last guy that treated me poorly and how he was making me nervous that he was just going to disappear out of nowhere. It took him until the next day to respond, and when he did he apologized and told me I was right and that he was going to try harder. At this point, I decide that since we had been seeing each other exclusively for 3 months that I would invite him to come stay with my grandparents at the lake for a weekend. He said he wanted to go and would try to get the time off work. A few days after this, I went to see him and ended up taking an unplanned trip to his parents house for something, where I was introduced to his parents who were very nice people. This made me feel pretty good because I assumed he never would have taken me to his parents if he wasn’t serious about me, and after we got done there, we went grocery shopping for some items for a trip he was taking fourth of july weekend, which made me feel like maybe we were finally a real couple. When we got back to his house that night, he took a shower while I sat in his room, and I accidentally discovered a notebook he had by his bed with a ton of handwritten poetry in it. On the very top, there was a typed poem, which was very romantic, and included specific physical details in it that made it seem as though he was probably writing it about me. Of course I pretended not to have seen it, but I was giddy as all hell because guys don’t write poetry about girls they aren’t in love with, right? Then he impressed me further by inviting me to a party he was having at his house on the fourth, and although it turned out to be just 3 of his guy friends, I still had fun hanging out with them and he took us out on his boat and stuff, and he was treating me like a girlfriend in front of his friends. But this is where things took a bad turn. Since then, I asked to see him twice, and he told me he wasn’t feeling well on both occasions, but didn’t try to reschedule, but he texted me as normal. Then on Sunday night since I knew he wasn’t working, I tried to invite him over to my house, and he never replied to my text. He did finally answer several hours later, apologizing and saying he was helping his new roommate move in. I asked him again about him coming over, and he didn’t answer again. Around midnight, I texted him again, asking him if he knew if he had this weekend off for the lake trip, to which he responded saying he hadn’t asked his boss about it. At this point I was just pissed, because he had 3 weeks to ask about it and in my opinion, if you don’t make it a priority to ask about it sooner than four days prior, you didn’t really intend on going. I told him to not bother asking and he never answered me. The next day, he texted me like nothing was wrong to ask me how my day was. I dealt with his small talk for a little bit, then decided to tell him I missed him. He ignored that and asked me when I worked next. When I asked him why, he said he was just curious, and then he stopped replying again for the night. Still being pissed off and wanting to remind him I was, I texted him telling him he could get ahold of me if he wanted to hang out. And now I’m here, today. Today while I was at work he sent me an internet meme randomly to which I said nothing but “lol” and he said “I know”. Sorry for the incredibly long post, but I just need some outside opinions on this. The signals are so mixed it’s ridiculous. I feel like I’ve fallen into the same trap I did last summer, but I also feel like there’s too many signs pointing to me being wrong.
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