Guest Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Hi. I'm new here. I'm a 20 years old man. Having a girlfriend will never happen to me, neither I think it would be a good idea having one. But this thing about having them in my head almost every second of my days is really creepy. I do try to keep my mind full with languages, music, comics, games and books, but it still seems not enough for me. I'm always sad and feeling I need someone to take care of me, to be intimate, to go out... and whatever couples do. But I know at the same time, it all would harm me (if it could even happen, because I think I can't actually "love"). If someone knows about anything I could be doing to keep this away from me, please, help me. Except for drugs, because in my country it's necessary to have a recipe to buy them. And I'm not going to see a doctor. So, it would be almost impossible. Thanks in advance
Magicmountain Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 You will not keep yourself from thinking about the opposite sex. As long as you focus only on yourself and your problems, you will be unable to "love" someone else. Work to get outside of yourself. Get involved in conversations and activities with other people. Listen to other people. Consider their point of view. Make choices that you think a responsible, caring person would make. In time, the more you care about and like other people, the more they will care about and like you.
Guest Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 You will not keep yourself from thinking about the opposite sex. As long as you focus only on yourself and your problems, you will be unable to "love" someone else. Work to get outside of yourself. Get involved in conversations and activities with other people. Listen to other people. Consider their point of view. Make choices that you think a responsible, caring person would make. In time, the more you care about and like other people, the more they will care about and like you. Why not? Is it really better to continue thinking about them and being sad? Sorry, but I prefer to feel normal. I'm not the kind of person that can makes conversations. I want a solution to stop the problem, not the way everyone takes.
CarrieT Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Having a girlfriend will never happen to me Why do you assume that? I'm a 20 years old man. No offense, but you sound like a 20 year old BOY. And that is not a bad thing - just being 20 doesn't mean you are emotionally mature yet. But this thing about having them in my head almost every second of my days is really creepy. It isn't creepy. It is normal. But I know at the same time, it all would harm me (if it could even happen, because I think I can't actually "love"). Why do you believe it is harmful? If someone knows about anything I could be doing to keep this away from me, please, help me. Except for drugs, because in my country it's necessary to have a recipe to buy them. And I'm not going to see a doctor. So, it would be almost impossible. I don't think you need drugs. I think you need to socialize more and get your head out of comic books. Is it really better to continue thinking about them and being sad? You are sad because you are not pro-active about learning how to interact with females. Sorry, but I prefer to feel normal. I'm not the kind of person that can makes conversations. You can be normal. You just have to practice. I want a solution to stop the problem, not the way everyone takes. The solution would be to start joining groups and clubs where you can gain experience being with other people. The rest will happen with time.
basil67 Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Why would getting a girlfriend "harm" you? You say that you want to be looked after...why do you need assistance to live your life? I feel like there's a lot you haven't told us. Do you have a disability of some kind which prevents you from having a full life?
Guest Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 I think people misunderstood this post CarrieT, I don't want, under no circumstances, to have someone close to me. Period.
Magicmountain Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 Why not? Is it really better to continue thinking about them and being sad? Sorry, but I prefer to feel normal. I'm not the kind of person that can makes conversations. I want a solution to stop the problem, not the way everyone takes.There is no "normal." What is the kind of person that can make conversation? You replied to me---hence, you made conversation. Here's a tip---most people will not want to have a conversation with someone who has immovable stances on things. The moment you let go of your idea of yourself is the moment others will recognize your depth and potential.
Guest Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 Why would getting a girlfriend "harm" you? You say that you want to be looked after...why do you need assistance to live your life? I feel like there's a lot you haven't told us. Do you have a disability of some kind which prevents you from having a full life? Every kind of relationship harms. I simply can't be in one and don't want to, either. And maybe I have avPD, i haven't been diagnosed. But the "symptoms" actually match a lot.
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