Think I've Been Heartbroken

[FoxDie]

So I just got broken up with basically. After 7 months. And we were in love. She sent an email saying we should remain as friends. I replied. And my reply was angry but not irately angry. Some emos was put in there I'll admit.

So I told her to just leave me alone. She said that she values my company and really loves me (as a friend though).

I told her I am not going to be orbiting around her. Not going to visit (even though I'll miss the kids ).

I read the NC guide for 2014. It definitely helped. But also just also need a little bit more help. It hasn't hit me yet because I am a strong-willed person but I think that weeks later I'll start to get all emo again and be her friend.

 

I know she saw that email. Because if I would've answered with the reply she wanted I think that a text would've hit my phone by now. I think she saw the email and decided to leave me be like I said. Man this is so bogus. I just need to find something, just something to get my mind off this. Even if it's another woman.

[Redhead14]

So I just got broken up with basically. After 7 months. And we were in love. She sent an email saying we should remain as friends. I replied. And my reply was angry but not irately angry. Some emos was put in there I'll admit.

So I told her to just leave me alone. She said that she values my company and really loves me (as a friend though).

I told her I am not going to be orbiting around her. Not going to visit (even though I'll miss the kids ).

I read the NC guide for 2014. It definitely helped. But also just also need a little bit more help. It hasn't hit me yet because I am a strong-willed person but I think that weeks later I'll start to get all emo again and be her friend.

 

I know she saw that email. Because if I would've answered with the reply she wanted I think that a text would've hit my phone by now. I think she saw the email and decided to leave me be like I said. Man this is so bogus. I just need to find something, just something to get my mind off this. Even if it's another woman.

 

I do not advocate remaining "friends" after a break up. If you are the dumpee and still in love with the dumper, staying friends is being unfair to yourself. It's difficult to spend time as a just a friend and having to hold back your feelings. Cut if off altogether. Don't stroke her ego by showing her that you have lost yourself in her and willing to take breadcrumbs.

 

Don't find another woman right now. Give yourself some time to get re-focused on you and your own life.

[FoxDie]

Thanks a lot for the support. I'm gonna go full NC. And wait on getting another woman. Just feel quite indifferent as of now but I'm gonna be alright. It just sucks. Wanting so bad to reconcile things but knowing deep down that's a fairy tale.

[FoxDie]

Once upon a time there were two hearts.

One was named Aye and the other named Bee.

Both hearts were inseparable. They meshed. So well...so perfectly.

Their pulses even matched. Every night they would mesh together and

hold each other. The love burned pluming with bright embers.

But one night, Aye hurt Bee. Aye didn't mean it. It was the thorns.

Tiny thorns protruded from Aye's loving body. Bee still loved Aye no matter what. But nights later, when Bee when to mesh with Aye...Aye hurt Bee again.

This time the thorns became horns. Aye didn't mean it. Aye apologized. Aye told Bee that it couldn't be helped. Something is wrong with Aye. Aye never meant to hurt Bee.

Aye wants to break away from Bee to stop the pain. To stop the inevitable. But Bee would not give up. Bee loved Aye. Aye loved Bee, too.

But another night came...and Aye hurt Bee even more. This time Aye's body was riddled with spines, thorns, horns, and spikes. No matter how much Bee wanted to keep meshing and hugging Aye, it could not happen. Aye finally left Bee in order to protect Bee. Bee was devastated. Confused and perturbed. Filled with melancholy. Aye was just as hurt but Bee didn't know it.

 

Once upon another time...there were two hearts. One named Bee and the other named Cee...and Bee one night hurt Cee...

[FoxDie]

Never experienced this level of pain before to my heart. I was talking to my best friend about it over the phone and even ended up crying to him about it. I hate it. I hate that I am looking quite vulnerable right now over the breakup. I hate to look vulnerable in any fashion.

 

And I keep wondering how this happened. But also I think of our RS and how I was feeling then and how bad she treated me. Then my mom's BF words ring in my head: "If you look at it, she probably did you a favor."

And I admit I do feel his words. When I was in that RS I was steady giving more and trying to show my worthiness but she still gave minimum. Then I think maybe she can fix it or change.

 

My mom told me how I would know the value she had on our RS will be answered around next month. Implicating that next month she will be dating another guy. Part of me don't want to find out if she does do that but another part of me do. Because if she does get that guy, and say it doesn't work out and she comes to me, I'll have to watch myself. I'm basically an nth choice.

 

When she sent me the email saying lets be friends maybe she was sincere about it. But I hate how she done it. We vowed to never breakup over phone or text. Always face to face. But I guess that's not easy as it seems.

 

Every day I get up, I end up worrying about her. But I'm using other things to distract me. I've downloaded Pokemon GO to my phone. That's pretty addicting.

 

I'm afraid of what I'll do if she does contact me. Will I cave in and say something back. In fear of losing her altogether--even as a friend. I go in my room and remember things we did together and just having someone you thought really loved you sleeping next to you. Places you go. It's all just crazy. And every day I am battling it.

[Zahara]

I'm afraid of what I'll do if she does contact me. Will I cave in and say something back. In fear of losing her altogether--even as a friend. I go in my room and remember things we did together and just having someone you thought really loved you sleeping next to you. Places you go. It's all just crazy. And every day I am battling it.

 

Then you block her. She's not your friend. We hold on to the notion of "friend" because the idea of this person never being in our lives again is frightening. The finality is hard to bear. Besides, you can't be friends with her when you're absolutely wrecked by her emotionally.