Lightning struck - How to approach without being creepy

[hfp]

First of all, my 15 year long relationship (two kids) ended a couple of years ago. Since then, I haven't dated anyone. There was some extensive flirting with a woman from work over a couple of months last summer, but nothing more than that. I am shy and sensitive by nature and take things slow, and I've never been the smooth ladies man. I have been told many times that I am good looking, intelligent, sensitive and that women like me and that I overlook their signals. Who knows.

 

Anyway, I had a very powerful experience last week. I was at my doctors (of all places) and I this time they had booked me with the new young doctor (age about 28, I am 42). We talked about what was bothering me and she did a few tests etc. But the important thing here is that the interaction felt... electric. And it seemed to affect her as well, the way she was smiling, blushing, responding etc. It's hard to explain and maybe it's all in my head. But I've never experienced anything like it. And I swear I am not weird or creepy, you'll have to take my word

 

When I left, I was shaken and I couldn't stop thinking about her and this experience. Still can't. I couldn't help finding her on facebook (still not creepy, right? everybody does it , and was surprised (or maybe not?) to find that music is very important to her as it is to me and that she liked primarily the same types of alternative music that not everybody knows or likes, especially at her age. I know that it doesn't mean anything, and yet it does.

 

Now, maybe it's all in my head and maybe she just thinks that I'm and old creep or whatever. But I would regret it if I didn't do something about it after this experience. If it was someone I met at a bar, it would be straightforward (as straightforward as this is for a shy guy like me). But this is a person that I have a "professional" relationship with. I don't feel like I can just ask her out for coffee while at the doctors. Also, it might feel a little creepy nonetheless if I write a longer message to her explaining what I experienced.

 

So: How do I approach her? Face to face at the doctors, write her on facebook, etc? How much do I disclose? Do I keep it light: Would you like to go out for coffee etc? Or do I disclose to her how powerful this experience was and how lovely I think she is?

 

Again, I swear I am not a creep, but I can't help how it felt. And feels inauthentic to me to just casually show my interest by asking her out for coffee when in fact there is nothing casual about the way I feel.

 

Also, I never ask women out on dates, but as I said, I have to do something or I'll regret it.

[BaileyB]

I'm sorry, but I don't think she would ever consider dating you. She would lose her medical license and I doubt that she would consider that, for someone she has met once. As someone who works in a similar profession, I would never consider this and I look at my patients very impersonally, very professionally. I ignore any clients who contact me on Facebook - it is very inappapriorite and feels very creepy to me to get a message from a client this way. I think you should consider trying to meet someone else in a more appropriate way. I'm sorry.

Edited July 11, 2016 by BaileyB

[hfp]

Well, she wouldn't lose her medical license in my country. Also, I could just switch doctors. So if you ignore this otherwise valid point of yours, and assuming that we are free to do whatever we like, what would you suggest?

 

Edit: Ok, I see you edited your response. You're probably right that there is a risk it might feel creepy, which I also mentioned in my first post. Of course I would like to avoid looking like a creep. On the other hand, I don't think it is necessarily always the best idea to just ignore such an experience just to avoid being creepy. What if she felt the same way and wants me to approach her? I figure that the worst that can happen if I approach her, write her etc is that she ignores me or tells me to get lost. I can live with that. So assuming that I am going to approach her somehow, if not for anything else than to move on, what is the best way?

Edited July 11, 2016 by hfp

[The Next Big Thing]

First of all, my 15 year long relationship (two kids) ended a couple of years ago. Since then, I haven't dated anyone. There was some extensive flirting with a woman from work over a couple of months last summer, but nothing more than that. I am shy and sensitive by nature and take things slow, and I've never been the smooth ladies man. I have been told many times that I am good looking, intelligent, sensitive and that women like me and that I overlook their signals. Who knows.

 

Anyway, I had a very powerful experience last week. I was at my doctors (of all places) and I this time they had booked me with the new young doctor (age about 28, I am 42). We talked about what was bothering me and she did a few tests etc. But the important thing here is that the interaction felt... electric. And it seemed to affect her as well, the way she was smiling, blushing, responding etc. It's hard to explain and maybe it's all in my head. But I've never experienced anything like it. And I swear I am not weird or creepy, you'll have to take my word

 

When I left, I was shaken and I couldn't stop thinking about her and this experience. Still can't. I couldn't help finding her on facebook (still not creepy, right? everybody does it , and was surprised (or maybe not?) to find that music is very important to her as it is to me and that she liked primarily the same types of alternative music that not everybody knows or likes, especially at her age. I know that it doesn't mean anything, and yet it does.

 

Now, maybe it's all in my head and maybe she just thinks that I'm and old creep or whatever. But I would regret it if I didn't do something about it after this experience. If it was someone I met at a bar, it would be straightforward (as straightforward as this is for a shy guy like me). But this is a person that I have a "professional" relationship with. I don't feel like I can just ask her out for coffee while at the doctors. Also, it might feel a little creepy nonetheless if I write a longer message to her explaining what I experienced.

 

So: How do I approach her? Face to face at the doctors, write her on facebook, etc? How much do I disclose? Do I keep it light: Would you like to go out for coffee etc? Or do I disclose to her how powerful this experience was and how lovely I think she is?

 

Again, I swear I am not a creep, but I can't help how it felt. And feels inauthentic to me to just casually show my interest by asking her out for coffee when in fact there is nothing casual about the way I feel.

 

Also, I never ask women out on dates, but as I said, I have to do something or I'll regret it.

 

 

You said it yourself. These parts I highlighted for you, those are your authentic feelings which you shall express to the doctor. Maybe not exactly the lines you wrote but you get my point.

Just tell her how you felt next to her, that it has never happened to you. And that the two of you should go for a coffee or whatever you want.

 

Just remember, dont be ashamed of your feelings, keep it real and be confident and positive.

[Satu]

Should you form a relationship with her, there would be no problem with her licence, as long as she ceased being your doctor.

 

Do what you feel you must.

 

 

Take care.

[sc0316]

Send her a small card or something small but thoughtful to thank her for her treatment. Ask her for your medical record (i.e., terminate your doctor-patient relationship); leave your contact info and let her know that you'd like to take her out to a drink or lunch to thank her.

[sc0316]

p.s. OP: please report back after making your move :-)

[SevenCity]

First off, CREEP! J/k

 

I remember not making a move on a girl when I was 16. I still regret it almost 30 years later.

 

I would find another doctor and then ask her out. Either way you don't want to continue going there.

 

She may say yes, she may say no. But you won't have a feeling of regret.

 

Please post back after you make your move!