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How terrible it is to live without a partner as a woman?

Springsummer

By Springsummer
in General Relationship Discussion

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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Especially when it comes to renovation time? my bro is very busy with his family and my dad is old...

 

I have to go to homedepot, ikea and the likes to buy this and that heavy stuff, like vanity, sink, flexibond, tiles, drawer etc...and I need to fix up the terrible mess the incompetent and greedy contractors left behind, like patched up the holes in the wall, etc...

 

Pretty soon, I need to paint my bedroom and buy a heavy new dresser from Ikea...I think I am a pretty handy and hardworking, but still the idea that I have to move the heavy stuff makes me feel sorry for myself. but what else can I do? :(

 

must I find someone no matter what? or I need to get filthy rich so I don't have to do those stuff.

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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kind of feeling deeply regret the lost opportunities...I was a very stupid and picky person:(

CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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I used to do all that stuff by myself - and often still do because my new husband (we are in our 50s), HATES home renovation stuff.

 

I often just hire a handyman for things that are too heavy for me, but that doesn't happen often.

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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I used to do all that stuff by myself - and often still do because my new husband (we are in our 50s), HATES home renovation stuff.

 

I often just hire a handyman for things that are too heavy for me, but that doesn't happen often.

 

FYI, I am tiny.

 

anyway, you seems special, not a lot of women like you I suppose. I thought I am special too, because I didn't this and that all on my own. I learnt to how to do tile and patched up drywall now. and I always assemble Ikea furniture myself.

 

It seems all other women are spoiled by their hubby or boyfriend or whatever.

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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kind of feeling deeply regret the lost opportunities...I was a very stupid and picky person:(

 

And now it's all over, no chances left, or what? ;)

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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And now it's all over, no chances left, or what? ;)

 

seems pretty bleak:(

mrs rubble Established Member

mrs rubble

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Most of the "heavy stuff" could be delivered surely?? so then you have the truckie doing the bulk of the heavy lifting.

Lots of woman do this sort of stuff where I'm from. One of my workmates is also a quailified carpenter and a small lady, another one of my friends is a mechanic. Girls can do anything.

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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It seems all other women are spoiled by their hubby or boyfriend or whatever.

 

Bahaha

 

My hubby never notices when things go wrong with the car. Like when I got in recently and realised the clutch was shot and had to limp straight to the mechanics.

 

I asked him about it that night and he replied "oh, yeah - the clutch did feel a bit off last night. I forgot to tell you"

 

Yep, totally spoiled here.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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i was havinga philosphical about having a partner with my mum....i asked my mum was she disappointed that both her daughters myself included have never married ..my sister and myself are both in our 40s now.....my mum is also separated...she said that she would never be disappointed in me even if i never marry...she said its in us that we have this independence and we are both cautious and selective....we dont date unless its for long term potential......we actually both believe in marriage..even though mum believes that her separation caused in us a deeper cautiousness......but both of us wouldnt marry unless it was for love......

 

as far as being not capable......i have helped men move house..i find ways to fix things.....sometimes novel ways.....and if i have to move a fridge...i can do it myself...just slowly....i dotn need a guy to be a handyman for me...it would be nice......lol..as my mum said...i wouldnt bash my fingers so much hammering things....but i have friends who offer to help anyway.....

 

theres also organisations like dial a hubby for big jobs...mowermen....i dont need a husband to get my handy man fix.......nor does any woman.. my mum expressed...its nice when you can depend on a capable handy guy...but its not a necessity for a woman to live a good life......

 

love however....for a woman....is necessity.....love is necessary for every person to feel...and it shouldnt depend on how well a guy can hammer .....lol....ahem..sorry mind went somewhere else......:0)...back on track.....

 

marriage i believe is necessary....to express true love and care for one another.....but thats my opinion....smilin......i hope whatever happens with you...that you have happiness...and not a lot of hammered fingers....deb

Edited by todreaminblue
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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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Bahaha

 

My hubby never notices when things go wrong with the car. Like when I got in recently and realised the clutch was shot and had to limp straight to the mechanics.

 

I asked him about it that night and he replied "oh, yeah - the clutch did feel a bit off last night. I forgot to tell you"

 

Yep, totally spoiled here.

 

smilin large....cant live without him though....;0)...deb

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Els Established Member

Els

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Honestly... having someone to do heavy lifting and renovation for you is a pretty bad reason to get into a relationship! :eek: That's like a man getting into a R only because he wants someone to cook/clean for him. Ugh. Surely you can just hire someone. Sure it's expensive, but it's better than being tied to someone you have zero feelings for just for his handyman skills?

 

I personally think being in a R is great, but only for the right reasons. Because they make you laugh, because they care about you, because you love them and you find that everything is so much better with them. Can't imagine just picking any ol' dude just so I can save a few hundreds on bills....

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blackcat777 Established Member

blackcat777

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As long as you make an honest (meaning, not trying to use people) effort with dating, I don't think there's any harm in PLAYFULLY putting it out there that you want a man to be a builder and a lifter.

 

(I love cooking for my boyfriend, and yes, he is the builder/fixer. ;) )

 

I used to collect spring water. Sure, I COULD lug those heavy jugs around with a lot of effort... but it was much nicer to ask my boyfriend. I let him know I SINCERELY appreciated the help (and of course shared the water! ;) ).

 

I think there are a lot of cute and flirty ways you could spin needing a man to help you build and lift even if you're single/dating. As long as you express sincere gratitude and there's a balance of give and take.

 

I'm not saying put up an ad that says, "I NEED SOMEONE TO DO XYZ," but in conversation, there's no harm in appreciating the male capacity to build stuff and be strong. A lot of guys dig that.

 

well... I'm sure if you put up a Craig's List ad for someone to come over and build XYZ, you'd probably get some responses... but... I would never entertain those to save my life :sick:

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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Thank you all for sharing your experience and perspective!

 

I now feel better:) so I am not alone. I need not feel so self-pity.

 

I guess I am just being a bit whining. I do not think I can actually be with anyone that I do not love. I think I have mental cleanliness 'problem', so I don't think that can actually work.

 

no, I am not specifically looking for a handyman or the like. just a helping hand, so any nicely built man will do. I think I am actually drawn to intellectual man, if he happens to be handy, that just makes him more many, that's for sure. but if a man is just handy but not intelligent and smart, then I don't think I will be attracted to him at all(hope this doesn't offend anyone, I don't look down on anyone. Everyone is equal. It is just a personal preference) .

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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As long as you make an honest (meaning, not trying to use people) effort with dating, I don't think there's any harm in PLAYFULLY putting it out there that you want a man to be a builder and a lifter.

 

(I love cooking for my boyfriend, and yes, he is the builder/fixer. ;) )

 

I used to collect spring water. Sure, I COULD lug those heavy jugs around with a lot of effort... but it was much nicer to ask my boyfriend. I let him know I SINCERELY appreciated the help (and of course shared the water! ;) ).

 

I think there are a lot of cute and flirty ways you could spin needing a man to help you build and lift even if you're single/dating. As long as you express sincere gratitude and there's a balance of give and take.

 

I'm not saying put up an ad that says, "I NEED SOMEONE TO DO XYZ," but in conversation, there's no harm in appreciating the male capacity to build stuff and be strong. A lot of guys dig that.

 

well... I'm sure if you put up a Craig's List ad for someone to come over and build XYZ, you'd probably get some responses... but... I would never entertain those to save my life :sick:

 

 

 

i have loved watching my guys work with their hands......or drive a manual car.......i have a....thing for guys who drive stick......but its not the actual handy work or the gear changing...... i am admiring his hands, the dexterity of his fingers..fine motor and gross motor skills....... and his knowledge......i have learned things from studying mens hands...learned something.....havent learned how to drive yet.....:0)...havent met the right driver who can teach me..

 

 

i took agriculture at school...and my ag teacher....he taught me to drive a tractor and a combine harvester.. i studied metal work at school, woodwork ....leather work......technical drawing.....and i worked in a metal spinning sheet metal factory right along side of the men as a teenager...and i kept the books for the company as part of my job....i was actually their book keeper but i would have too much free time so i asked if they would put me on the floor so i could learn to cut sheet metal.........i love learning...and i appreciate the fact men have taught me alot.... i have had some awesome male teachers......i always appreciate a man who is handy.i am always grateful for help offered even if i dont take up the offer...i just dont need to marry a handy guy......to learn from them...and do it myself...but i agree with you...its nice to see its nice to feel...you dont have to do it all yourself....its nice that..you can ask a guy to help you out.....it is somethign to eb grateful for....

 

when im dating it is far more important for me to put out i want a caring guy....a gentle guy ...than a handy one......i just cross my fingers,pray and hope they drive stick....:0)...or maybe im not meant to drive...and just sit there and appreciate ....lol...probably that.......deb

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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hey, I can drive a stick/manual too...but I prefer automatic. I can also do motorcycle.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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hey, I can drive a stick/manual too...but I prefer automatic. I can also do motorcycle.

 

never been a motor cycle fan...saw a guy on the road who had hit a cow...his head was off....turned me off motor bikes....but stick.....smilin...is cool...deb.

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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seems pretty bleak:(

 

Why is it bleak? The first step to not having a chance is convincing yourself you don't have a chance. :p

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Lady2163 Established Member

Lady2163

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There are times it totally sucks to be single and have to do everything yourself and make all the decisions yourself and make mistakes. While I'd like a man to take care of yard work and some of the home repair jobs, I'd also like someone for companionship and to bounce ideas around with instead or problem solving by myself.

 

I look at it as part of the relationship partnership. I don't need a man to be handy, but if we are living together, he better not fuss about money spent paying someone to do the jobs we don't know how to do!

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Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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I was single 10 years from age 40 to 50.

 

Last year I renovated my place. I hired a professional to redo bathroom and kitchen and I did the painting and little things myself. In the 10 years I have been living alone I never missed having a man to do things around the house. I was raised on a farm so there is very little I cannot do on my own.

 

I finally met a man last year. He is very handy, he works renovation and construction. He tells me all the time to not push and pull heavy stuff but I am sooooo used to do it all on my own I forget he's there to do these things now.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I say hire a handyman that way you can tell him exactly how you want things done. Sometimes it's hard to boss you SO around. Also if you have friends you can ask one of your female friends to give you a hand. There are lots of ways to get the heavy lifting done without having to get in a relationship.

BikerAccnt Established Member

BikerAccnt

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Hell, I'm a guy and I hire handymen/professionals to do a lot of stuff. Sure I can do heavy lifting and basic repairs, but, often I don't want to. As long as it's not outrageously expensive, and I know they will do a better job than me, I pay someone.

 

 

Being a man doesn't give us any special dispensation on handiness. I know quite a few women a LOT more handy than I am. A LOT.

 

If you can't lift something, and can't find a friend, you hire someone. It's just what you do. I do.

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Els Established Member

Els

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One disadvantage single women have, that I notice, is that a woman walking alone is much more likely to be the target of sexual assault than a woman walking with a man, or a man walking alone. There are places I go to with the SO at night, that I just wouldn't feel safe going by myself. In fact, when I go anywhere by myself at night, I lock the car as soon as I get in, and I only go places where I can get a brightly-lit carpark and the path from the carpark to the destination is lit and safe. If a place doesn't qualify and I don't have anyone who can go with me... I don't go at all.

 

Of course, it still isn't a reason to be in a R with someone you don't love, but it does kinda suck. Just the way the world works...

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BikerAccnt Established Member

BikerAccnt

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One disadvantage single women have, that I notice, is that a woman walking alone is much more likely to be the target of sexual assault than a woman walking with a man, or a man walking alone. There are places I go to with the SO at night, that I just wouldn't feel safe going by myself. In fact, when I go anywhere by myself at night, I lock the car as soon as I get in, and I only go places where I can get a brightly-lit carpark and the path from the carpark to the destination is lit and safe. If a place doesn't qualify and I don't have anyone who can go with me... I don't go at all.

 

Of course, it still isn't a reason to be in a R with someone you don't love, but it does kinda suck. Just the way the world works...

 

This kind of thing ticks me off. It does suck that there are people out there (guys) who make it unsafe for women. No-one should feel unsafe just because of who they are.

 

Now there are some neighborhoods I won't go into, but that's just because they are unsafe neighborhoods no matter who you are. But you are so right Elswyth, I never worry about walking alone and being sexually assaulted. Mugged, perhaps, sexually assaulted? Never think about it. It's really sad, that women need to worry about that.

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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oh, another terrible thing being single: whenever I want to travel, I have to travel on my own.

Maybe I should make more friends...a lots! because a few friends are not enough to happen to have the time or motivation to travel with you.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

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Especially when it comes to renovation time? my bro is very busy with his family and my dad is old...

 

I have to go to homedepot, ikea and the likes to buy this and that heavy stuff, like vanity, sink, flexibond, tiles, drawer etc...and I need to fix up the terrible mess the incompetent and greedy contractors left behind, like patched up the holes in the wall, etc...

 

Pretty soon, I need to paint my bedroom and buy a heavy new dresser from Ikea...I think I am a pretty handy and hardworking, but still the idea that I have to move the heavy stuff makes me feel sorry for myself. but what else can I do? :(

 

must I find someone no matter what? or I need to get filthy rich so I don't have to do those stuff.

 

So you want to find a man just so he can move heavy stuff?:confused:

 

What if you have a man and he dies, God forbid, then what?

 

They have movers and people you can hire to do these things if you don't want to do them yourself, but I certainly would never put "moving heavy stuff" as a priority for why it's better to have a partner lol.

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