TooRational Posted July 15, 2016 Posted July 15, 2016 Ok, it's not a big deal for her, fine. But it's obviously a big deal to you and she should take that into consideration more. It's really very simple to stop using Tinder. The fact that she doesn't seem to indicate that she prefers a big inconvenience to you over a small inconvenience to her. That's my analysis anyway but perhaps I'm biased because of my ex. Yep, waiting for her return is the smart thing to do. Not getting together with that snapchat girl is also the right thing to do, at least for now. If she's into you chances are that she will still be interested a week from now if things go south with your gf. Best of luck.
Author MLP11 Posted July 15, 2016 Author Posted July 15, 2016 Ok, it's not a big deal for her, fine. But it's obviously a big deal to you and she should take that into consideration more. It's really very simple to stop using Tinder. The fact that she doesn't seem to indicate that she prefers a big inconvenience to you over a small inconvenience to her. That's my analysis anyway but perhaps I'm biased because of my ex. Yep, waiting for her return is the smart thing to do. Not getting together with that snapchat girl is also the right thing to do, at least for now. If she's into you chances are that she will still be interested a week from now if things go south with your gf. Best of luck. No - I agree. I never actually specifically asked her to delete it. That will come when she's back and a serious convo about whether or not she really wants to pursue this further. She is an incredible introvert so her feelings about me are like pulling teeth from an adult. I do agree in waiting would be best, it is a little hard as she is making very aggressive specific advances. Luckily I do have events planned all day tomorrow and grad school finals coming up so hopefully I can focus my energy and efforts on that vs stressing about her.
JewelD Posted July 15, 2016 Posted July 15, 2016 Very true. I probably haven't been the best person as I've been stringing this other girl along as a plan B option just in case things didn't work out. She has also sent me explicit snapchats and made what she wants very clear. I think I was a little annoyed with her lack of communication (what I perceived) before she left and after she left it was only magnified which led to me checking to see if she had been on tinder. Retrospectively I should of probably had a conversation with her about this before. Seriously? You're worried about your gf being on tinder but you're stringing along another girl on the side who is sending you explicit snapchat photos? And who was doing this, I assume, before this whole tinder thing even happened? Just stop. You both 'agreed' to be exclusive but you're clearly not doing that anyway so why do you care if she's on Tinder? Just break up with your gf and move on. If you felt you needed a plan B, why would you date her in the first place? You should have put that part in the initial post. Would have changed a lot of the advice you were given. You have no right to bug her about Tinder if you're getting nudes without her knowledge. You're being dishonest with her and yet you think you deserve honesty and commitment from her? 2
longjohn Posted July 16, 2016 Posted July 16, 2016 If I were you, I'd dump the Tinder girl and make her aware it's because she was on a hookup app while away. I wouldn't accept any of that old crap about it being to meet friends. Once that is sorted I'd go check out your other prospects maybe lady number 2 won't be up for playing you. 1
joseb Posted July 16, 2016 Posted July 16, 2016 If I were you, I'd dump the Tinder girl and make her aware it's because she was on a hookup app while away. I wouldn't accept any of that old crap about it being to meet friends. Once that is sorted I'd go check out your other prospects maybe lady number 2 won't be up for playing you. I'd either do that, or explicitly agree you are in an open relationship. If you do that you need to tell snapchat girl also. Just some feedback, I mentioned before I saw some profiles that read like your gfs but never matched...well I matched one. I asked her why she was on tinder if she is only looking for friends. Her reply: "well. I'm looking for friends...with benefits hehe" .. And she has a husband. I know it's just a sample of one, but i always think people on tinder are almost never really looking for "friends". 1
longjohn Posted July 16, 2016 Posted July 16, 2016 i always think people on tinder are almost never really looking for "friends". It's like going into a restaurant and saying I won't have anything I just want to look at the menu and smell the food ha!
ChickiePops Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 Very true. I probably haven't been the best person as I've been stringing this other girl along as a plan B option just in case things didn't work out. She has also sent me explicit snapchats and made what she wants very clear. I think I was a little annoyed with her lack of communication (what I perceived) before she left and after she left it was only magnified which led to me checking to see if she had been on tinder. Retrospectively I should of probably had a conversation with her about this before. You are already cheating on her AND you're being an ass to back burner girl. Let both of them go and do some work on yourself before you try another relationship. 2
lolablue17 Posted July 17, 2016 Posted July 17, 2016 (edited) I'll ignore that thing with the other girl, and put it out of the equation. When things aren't clear, the best way to deal with it is to go back to sources. 1. She said she doesn't want to do anything that will upset you, 2. you've made it clear that it upsets you, 3 = She must back her word and delete the account and the app and not using it. But she didn't delete it. Again - If you (girl) say that you will not do anything bad, and your Bf' has made it clear that using tinder is bad for him, and you still do not delete it, what's the point of communication at all? Why bother saying things if your actions show the opposite? I agree that it's best that you wait until she returns. But when she does, you must make it very clear. After saying that, in addition i'd like to say that "using Tinder to meet (just) friends in foreign countries, just to get some information about great places", is one of the most rediculous stupid excuses I've ever heard. Really? ha ha ha!! Tinder is an explicit dating app for relationships and mostly for getting laid! She can meet through Tinder only men! Men who want to f*** her. There are so many online services and apps where you can know about places and meet new friends without the headline - DATING + SEX that characterizes Tinder. You don't have to meet friends who want to f*** you, in order to have information about cool places. Yeah, right... do you want another idea? Well, I'd like to go to polyamory clubs and swinging parties (where couples exchange partners), to find out some information about raising cats... and... and meet new friends... not sexually "of course"..... Edited July 17, 2016 by lolablue17 1
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