david_1991 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Hi. So i wanna make clear that i still love my ex. I was always honest about that with myself. But at the same time i want to forget her, and that's what i did for the past 4 months with absolutely no contact between us (only occasional glimpses, and awkward hello's). Two days ago was her birthday, and i made the foolish decision to email her. I didn't say much, just that i miss her sometimes, and that she was important to me. Didn't tell her i love her or anything like that. But i left small hints that i still think about her. I told myself that i didn't care if she didn't reply, it was for closure, i only send the email for me etc., etc. But now that she didn't reply, i feel bad. Embarace for what she might be thinking. I was hopeful to hear something form her, anything. We haven't talk since the break-up. But at the same time she keeps liking my pictures on social media. Any thoughts on this? Ps. english is not my first language 1
Author david_1991 Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 (edited) She broke up with me. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship, and that she didn't like me, like she though she did, and also that she was afraid to tell her parents about the relationship, although i never put any pressure on her on that matter (I was her first boyfriend). She's 20, i'm 24 Edited July 10, 2016 by david_1991 1
BC1980 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 First, I'd block her on social media since she keeps liking your posts. It's obviously affecting you that you still have the social media connection. She probably just wants to keep you at arm's length by liking your posts. She didn't respond to the email because she doesn't want to get into a conversation. That's too much contact for her. 2
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 Let me break it down for you: 1. Block her on social media or unfriend her your call but don't visit her profile just to take a look at the profile pic. (I did that today I regret it already trust me don't!!!) 2. Don't break NC - not for birthdays, namedays, Christmas, New Years etc. Perhaps the end of the world but even then connection may not be possible 3. When you see her just wave and smile or say hi but don't go overboard with some "I miss you" and whatnots. 1
Author david_1991 Posted July 11, 2016 Author Posted July 11, 2016 I just thought she was different. I thought she cared about me. I'm not even talking about love or anything, just caring or just to be nice i don't no. I thought she would reply the message. We never really know people i guess. Bit disappointing. Her complete indifference towards me it's insane... 1
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 11, 2016 Posted July 11, 2016 She may have her reasons.. that doesn't necessarily mean she's a bad person or totally indifferent to you. I do agree you may have put her on a pedestal like how I did my ex and think she is so so different than the rest... and trust me she probably was to you.. but you can't expect that what you do somebody else will. Just accept she's a different person than you are and move on. 1
LoveIsMyReligion Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 You messed up. This girl fired you from your job. When you get fired, do you call your boss a week later, or a few months later and ask for your job back or see how they're doing? No. You cut all contact, and figure out a way to make yourself useful again. Move on, she has. Hit the gym, the books, and hangout with friends. 2
shewilltryherbest Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 Take it from me, block her on all your social media accounts. I was just going through this. My ex and I split but he would keep liking pictures I posted or tweeting me, etc. - I took those as hints but they are only "bread crumbs" to keep you there and/or wondering - or just to make themselves feel better. Block her, block her, block her. You'll thank me later. 1
Satu Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 Stop it with the social media. All it will bring you is upset. No direct contact. *No sending or receiving of messages. *Block any means she might use to contact you. *No replies to anything that gets through your blocks. *No indirect contact through third parties. *De-friend or delete from all social media. *No monitoring of her on social media. *No 'little birds' feeding you news. *Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying. Take care. 1
BC1980 Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 I just thought she was different. I thought she cared about me. I'm not even talking about love or anything, just caring or just to be nice i don't no. I thought she would reply the message. We never really know people i guess. Bit disappointing. Her complete indifference towards me it's insane... Generally speaking, it's best to reach indifference if you want to move on. It doesn't mean you never cared about the person, it just means that you need to keep distance to move on. After my last breakup, I went NC because I cared so much. It didn't have anything to do with never loving my ex. I just knew that I would never move on or become indifferent if I kept contact with him. 1
Satu Posted July 12, 2016 Posted July 12, 2016 I just thought she was different. I thought she cared about me. I'm not even talking about love or anything, just caring or just to be nice i don't no. I thought she would reply the message. We never really know people i guess. Bit disappointing. *Her complete indifference towards me it's insane... *It's not insane, at all. It's the perfectly sane behaviour of somebody who wants to move on. Someone who has moved on, actually. Take care.
Blanco Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 It's a common, but usually inaccurate knee-jerk reaction to think that someone breaking up with us means they never cared about us. Wanting to be with you romantically isn't necessarily the same as caring about you as a person. 1
Author david_1991 Posted July 13, 2016 Author Posted July 13, 2016 (edited) Thank you all for your responses. But the thing is, we live 120 miles away from one another, and it's very unlikely that we'll see each other again. That's why i think her unresponsiveness is cold, and that's why i think i meant nothing special to her. If i meant something she would've reply. And I know for a fact that she got over me in just 4 days, because i went talk to her, back in February, and her distance and coldness was unbelievable. I could see by her body language and the tone of her voice, that i didn't meant absolutely nothing to her, like she said i did, when she broke with me. I felt she liked to see me suffer for her... But there's nothing i can do now. I just have to forget her and move on. Edit: Wouldn't be weird if I blocked her in social media, after all this time, and just because she didn't respond to my email? Edited July 13, 2016 by david_1991
Simon Phoenix Posted July 13, 2016 Posted July 13, 2016 Thank you all for your responses. But the thing is, we live 120 miles away from one another, and it's very unlikely that we'll see each other again. That's why i think her unresponsiveness is cold, and that's why i think i meant nothing special to her. If i meant something she would've reply. And I know for a fact that she got over me in just 4 days, because i went talk to her, back in February, and her distance and coldness was unbelievable. I could see by her body language and the tone of her voice, that i didn't meant absolutely nothing to her, like she said i did, when she broke with me. I felt she liked to see me suffer for her... But there's nothing i can do now. I just have to forget her and move on. Edit: Wouldn't be weird if I blocked her in social media, after all this time, and just because she didn't respond to my email? It'd be more weird if you didn't. Plus, who gives a crap if she thinks you're "weird"? She's your ex. You need to stop worrying about how she perceives you and start taking steps in your recovery.
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