Dio castillo Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Hey Guys So I recently started using online dating site for about a year after breaking up with my ex, here's my little bit of my thoughts I successfully met face to face for about 10 girls, but almost none of them are my liking, so I never ask them a second date. The girls that I am into on online dating are all about her-selves, I mean ALL OF THEM! 99% of them!! They are all about herself and ask no questions or inquisitiveness about me, Of course some of them seems to be very exciting to get to know me at the beginning and even ask me my Facebook page one of them even said something like " I am so grateful to know someone cool like you!" but after I added her, she just only up her own ass and talk about herself only. I mean YES they are consider cute and better looking, but I mean how can a person changed so fast? And YES there might be hundreds of guys chasing her, but since she is on online dating site, don't they want a relationship? don't they feel empty inside that need a relationship? I am not bragging myself, but I am consider OK looking better than average, working in fashion industry, have great sense of style, wear good cloths, often join local fashion events. It can all be seen on my Facebook page. The photos that I put on my profile are all professional fashion campaign style photos taken by professional photographer. Of course I got complements from the girls occasionally but that is ALL!! I just cant figure out I treat them all the same no matter how they look, the ones I am not so attracted to are easier to ask out, other ones that I am attracted to are even hard to kept the conversation going. I have had this experience for almost 99% of the girls that I met online, with only one exception: my EX girlfriend. We met online and we both attracted to each other and she would always ask me a question after answering mine. I have talked to almost 500 girls online with she was the only exception, I mean how rare is that? Sorry, it's kinda long but I just need you guys opinions on this: What is the real life of a pretty girl who is on online dating site? What is the purpose for them to register a profile? Is is possible to attracted them? Thanks to you all
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Hey Guys So I recently started using online dating site for about a year after breaking up with my ex, here's my little bit of my thoughts I successfully met face to face for about 10 girls, but almost none of them are my liking, so I never ask them a second date. The girls that I am into on online dating are all about her-selves, I mean ALL OF THEM! 99% of them!! They are all about herself and ask no questions or inquisitiveness about me, Of course some of them seems to be very exciting to get to know me at the beginning and even ask me my Facebook page one of them even said something like " I am so grateful to know someone cool like you!" but after I added her, she just only up her own ass and talk about herself only. I mean YES they are consider cute and better looking, but I mean how can a person changed so fast? And YES there might be hundreds of guys chasing her, but since she is on online dating site, don't they want a relationship? don't they feel empty inside that need a relationship? I am not bragging myself, but I am consider OK looking better than average, working in fashion industry, have great sense of style, wear good cloths, often join local fashion events. It can all be seen on my Facebook page. The photos that I put on my profile are all professional fashion campaign style photos taken by professional photographer. Of course I got complements from the girls occasionally but that is ALL!! I just cant figure out I treat them all the same no matter how they look, the ones I am not so attracted to are easier to ask out, other ones that I am attracted to are even hard to kept the conversation going. I have had this experience for almost 99% of the girls that I met online, with only one exception: my EX girlfriend. We met online and we both attracted to each other and she would always ask me a question after answering mine. I have talked to almost 500 girls online with she was the only exception, I mean how rare is that? Sorry, it's kinda long but I just need you guys opinions on this: What is the real life of a pretty girl who is on online dating site? What is the purpose for them to register a profile? Is is possible to attracted them? Thanks to you all Funny you mentioned this. There's this one woman in her early 40's on POF that I recognized as being a mutual friend to my OTHER friends on Facebook. She's got over 1,000 friends and most of her posts are in some way seeking validation. She must take selfies every other day, and gets TONS of comments saying "Oh, look how beautiful you are!" Or she puts these memes up regarding how "You don't need toxic people in your life." stuff like that. Or if she is having a bad day, she gets tons of "There there, it'll be okay!" Online dating has turned into social media now or has become a part of it. They are just adding you to FB for validation to the thousands of other friends they have. Also had the same problem, you'd try to get to know them, but beyond your first name, they don't ask a single question about you. In fact, I know more about the women I've been out with than they do about me, because they never asked. lol Being UN-engaging is a turn off.
hippychick3 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 You sound a bit shallow, OP. All you mention is appearance, in regards to yourself as well as the girls you seek out. When looks are all that matters, you can't expect more. Look beyond the superficial. Physical attraction is important but isn't everything. Look for substance (personality, character, values, outlooks on current events, etc) 4
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 You sound a bit shallow, OP. All you mention is appearance, in regards to yourself as well as the girls you seek out. When looks are all that matters, you can't expect more. Look beyond the superficial. Physical attraction is important but isn't everything. Look for substance (personality, character, values, outlooks on current events, etc) If women in OLD only followed the same philosophy as you, Hippy Chick, then I'd have a ton of dates lined up. LOL 1
Author Dio castillo Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 You sound a bit shallow, OP. All you mention is appearance, in regards to yourself as well as the girls you seek out. When looks are all that matters, you can't expect more. Look beyond the superficial. Physical attraction is important but isn't everything. Look for substance (personality, character, values, outlooks on current events, etc) Like you said look for substance, but I failed to see any girls who only talk about themselves and have nothing to offer to others have any personality, character, values...so on inside them.
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Like you said look for substance, but I failed to see any girls who only talk about themselves and have nothing to offer to others have any personality, character, values...so on inside them. Right, that was pretty much the point of his entire post. Seeking women of substance. Funny how when a man mentions when describing a dating prospect as "cute/attractive", for some reason that lends to a bias against that on here as if that had some merit in the argument. "Hey, I noticed you mentioned she's cute, so you're shallow...try finding a woman of substance!" As if that had to do with the price of tea in China. lol
hippychick3 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Read their profiles. Talk briefly before meeting. Look for girls who aren't the hottest, prettiest girls. I wasn't only interested in looks by any means. I honestly didn't want to date the best looking guys online. When those guys contacted me, I read their profiles, asked some questions to determine if they had enough substance or personality that would make me want to meet them. If I sensed they were shallow, self-centered jerks, I had no interest in meeting regardless of looks.
Gaeta Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 If you have a lot of growing to do then Online dating will be a long process. You'll aim too low at first because you don't know your worth, then you'll aim too high and meet a lot of flakes, then you'll aim on substance only but realize it's not enough etc. Took me 3,5 years online and 200 coffee dates to meet my boyfriend. I know someone who met her husband on her 3rd coffee date. It all depends on what you want and what is your plan to meet that one. On a side note professional pictures on a profile is a bad idea. I have never ever met a man that looked as good in real life as he looked on his professional pictures. Professional pictures are always a let down once we meet online. Also professional pictures do not show you in your day to day life it's very sterile and misleading. 1
elaine567 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I am not bragging myself, but I am consider OK looking better than average, working in fashion industry, have great sense of style, wear good cloths, often join local fashion events. It can all be seen on my Facebook page. The photos that I put on my profile are all professional fashion campaign style photos taken by professional photographer. Of course I got complements from the girls occasionally but that is ALL!! This all sounds a bit corporate and "professional" and not the real you. I guess you are scaring girls off. Only the self absorbed will stick around, everyone else will feel inadequate. Maybe you should try to be a bit more approachable and down to earth if you want to meet less superficial people. If you FB page is needed for your work, then make another FB page that is less contrived and more "real" to show to your potential dates. 2
Author Dio castillo Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 I didn't make all these, The guy up there did. I must I confess I do attracted to looks,It's about 50%. I can't help it. attraction is not a choice. Online dating are full of shallow people, when you want to get to know them. They are all up their ass, when you ignore them, they came back for more attention. It can all change in a sudden! like in a second! It happens a lot more often on attractive girls. but it also happens to less attractive ones too.
LookAtThisPOst Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 This all sounds a bit corporate and "professional" and not the real you. I guess you are scaring girls off. Only the self absorbed will stick around, everyone else will feel inadequate. Maybe you should try to be a bit more approachable and down to earth if you want to meet less superficial people. If you FB page is needed for your work, then make another FB page that is less contrived and more "real" to show to your potential dates. Funny how people on LS suggest, "You should get better photos of yourself" and when they do, "Oh, you shouldn't get professional photos, they are too perfect." I'm always seeing future post suggestions contradict the originals. Wash-rinse-repeat. 1
Author Dio castillo Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 This all sounds a bit corporate and "professional" and not the real you. I guess you are scaring girls off. Only the self absorbed will stick around, everyone else will feel inadequate. Maybe you should try to be a bit more approachable and down to earth if you want to meet less superficial people. If you FB page is needed for your work, then make another FB page that is less contrived and more "real" to show to your potential dates. Yes, I understand what you mean but I didn't "pretend" to be like this. I wear suit daily for work and blazer for casual gathering and dress shirt for summer times. I often go to fashion events and art gallery exhibition( a lot less nowadays since I don't have a girlfriend) However, that doesn't mean I am not a down to earth person and superficial.
phineas Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Funny you mentioned this. There's this one woman in her early 40's on POF that I recognized as being a mutual friend to my OTHER friends on Facebook. She's got over 1,000 friends and most of her posts are in some way seeking validation. She must take selfies every other day, and gets TONS of comments saying "Oh, look how beautiful you are!" Or she puts these memes up regarding how "You don't need toxic people in your life." stuff like that. Or if she is having a bad day, she gets tons of "There there, it'll be okay!" Online dating has turned into social media now or has become a part of it. They are just adding you to FB for validation to the thousands of other friends they have. Also had the same problem, you'd try to get to know them, but beyond your first name, they don't ask a single question about you. In fact, I know more about the women I've been out with than they do about me, because they never asked. lol Being UN-engaging is a turn off. I've learned to look out for this and my dating life improved. lowered my expectations, cut the chit-chat and went for the date ASAP, escalated on the date and pulled back/did not chase after the date when their interest level dropped predictably after. Also, i've actually told women on the site they seemed boring when they gave me simple responses and if they didn't step up their game I was moving on. lol. Sometimes they did step up but most times they didn't & I just stopped responding. Also, my profile has been essentially the same for yrs. The only thing that has changed with it is that I actually trimmed it down so it was shorter and changed my pics and I do better. This tells me that women primarily on the whole look mostly for looks online than profile content.
phineas Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Funny how people on LS suggest, "You should get better photos of yourself" and when they do, "Oh, you shouldn't get professional photos, they are too perfect." I'm always seeing future post suggestions contradict the originals. Wash-rinse-repeat. I lost weight & got pics of myself having fun & once I did that my luck has gone up online. hell, even a few quality women have messaged me first.
elaine567 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Funny how people on LS suggest, "You should get better photos of yourself" and when they do, "Oh, you shouldn't get professional photos, they are too perfect." I'm always seeing future post suggestions contradict the originals. Wash-rinse-repeat. YOU miss the point. There is a huge difference between suggesting a man get photos that are flattering, show his good points and are in focus, than the situation here, where the photos are actually commercial fashion campaign shots. 1
Gaeta Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Funny how people on LS suggest, "You should get better photos of yourself" and when they do, "Oh, you shouldn't get professional photos, they are too perfect." I'm always seeing future post suggestions contradict the originals. Wash-rinse-repeat. We see a lot of really bad pictures from men online. Blurry pictures, pictures of them half drunk at some party with their eyes rolling in the back of their head, pictures of them with bunch of women, pictures where they have cut out their ex, pictures of them in the bathroom! We are asking men to know the difference between a good picture and a bad picture. We want to see normal pictures!! a good picture where we see you in casual circumstances, where we see your face clearly, and we see your body. Professional pictures are always deceiving. They are not natural and each time I met a man with professional pictures I was let down in real. I am sure you've experienced the same with women and their professional pictures. 2
4x4storm Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 The issue with online dating is it takes the attraction of two people meeting in real life and flips it on it's head. That's exactly why we have men and women disagreeing on these threads because we don't get to see what it's like from each others point of view. I read an interesting article once where they interviewed one average male and female who used online dating and there difference in experience was so far apart. What the guy said: I had very detailed photos and profile and would read a womans bio before sending her a message to not have them send a message back even though we a had a lot in common. What the woman said: I received hundreds of messages everyone were creeps and there was no good guys on there at all. like I said in another thread I tried an experiment once I took an honest photo of me all dressed up before an interview and used it as my main profile picture on tinder. I got like 4 matches in the span of 4 weeks.... So I restarted my account and used a old blurry picture of me with my sisters rabbit that was shot from like 5 meters away when I was 16! I got 14 matches in one day....
elaine567 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 So I restarted my account and used a old blurry picture of me with my sisters rabbit that was shot from like 5 meters away when I was 16! I got 14 matches in one day.... Never underestimate the puling power of a cute pet...
Author Dio castillo Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 We see a lot of really bad pictures from men online. Blurry pictures, pictures of them half drunk at some party with their eyes rolling in the back of their head, pictures of them with bunch of women, pictures where they have cut out their ex, pictures of them in the bathroom! We are asking men to know the difference between a good picture and a bad picture. We want to see normal pictures!! a good picture where we see you in casual circumstances, where we see your face clearly, and we see your body. Professional pictures are always deceiving. They are not natural and each time I met a man with professional pictures I was let down in real. I am sure you've experienced the same with women and their professional pictures. I can guarantee that I have none of that. Here is the link to my facebook page what I put on my profile are on facebook. I am not pretend to be nobody Just being myself. https://www.facebook.com/dominic.d.castillo.5 1
BlueIris Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I looked at your FB page and it’s clear that you are into looks, image,fashion, but I don’t see much else about you. What other parts of your personality would be attractive to a woman who is not primarily concerned about looks and fashion? Highlight those if that's how you want to connect. For that matter, other than not talking about themselves, what traits do you want in a long term partner?
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