Kaviness Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 So background - I've been talking to this guy for 2 months. We met on a dating website and are medium distance to each other. We haven't met in person because we haven't gotten our schedules to match up with school/work. We're both students and he works as an engineer. We've called and Skyped a few times and get along well at least from what I can tell. He has told me that he is busy with work, travel, school, family, etc. and I am busy as well prepping for grad school but I started thinking maybe he was just stringing me along because it's hard to even get him on the phone or make plans. He also takes days to up to a week to reply to my texts or Ive reached out to him via text again after a few days. Every time I do this he responds eventually and is happy to hear from me and wants to talk. I set up a time to call and he said he would love to talk. So he called me and I missed the call - was eating lunch but I immediately texted and said I would call him in a minute because I was finishing lunch. So I called like 2 minutes later and it went to voicemail. Then he texted like 5 minutes later and asked if he could call me 30 min later cause he was having lunch. I said sure. He never called. An hour later he texted and said he was stuck in meetings (I'm assuming work?) but really wanted to hear my voice and what time I would be up till. I told I was going to dinner and when i usually go to bed. He never called or texted back. I texted him good night and that I looked forward calling him eventually. Haven't heard from him since then. I'm getting tired of the inconsistent communication and I feel like he is stringing me along. He says he's really busy but he never seems to make time to talk so I'm thinking we need to part ways. I don't want to be someone's fun when they want me and just ignore me when they don't. I guess I don't know if he genuinely is busy or what and he never communicates to me about it. I feel like he doesn't have time to date but likes me. Or maybe he's a player. Who knows? Haha I hate being ghosted so what should I say to him to let him know that I don't think we should talk anymore? Or should I let him know how I feel about the communication? Like how would I tell him my boundary of keeping plans or texting back (for like plans not little chit chat) I told him in the past that if he's too busy we can take a break from talking because he hadn't texted in like 4 days. He sent a really long text saying he really liked me and wanted to talk but some things had come up in life. So I'm not sure. He also disappeared for almost 2 weeks and I didn't bother texting him. He texted me saying he had lost his phone at work and really missed me and hoped I wasn't mad. I told him I thought he disappeared and he could have emailed me (he has my email) but he said he never thought to email me. -shrugs- Thanks for reading !
JewelD Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 So background - I've been talking to this guy for 2 months. We met on a dating website and are medium distance to each other. We haven't met in person because we haven't gotten our schedules to match up with school/work. We're both students and he works as an engineer. We've called and Skyped a few times and get along well at least from what I can tell. He has told me that he is busy with work, travel, school, family, etc. and I am busy as well prepping for grad school but I started thinking maybe he was just stringing me along because it's hard to even get him on the phone or make plans. He also takes days to up to a week to reply to my texts or Ive reached out to him via text again after a few days. Every time I do this he responds eventually and is happy to hear from me and wants to talk. I set up a time to call and he said he would love to talk. So he called me and I missed the call - was eating lunch but I immediately texted and said I would call him in a minute because I was finishing lunch. So I called like 2 minutes later and it went to voicemail. Then he texted like 5 minutes later and asked if he could call me 30 min later cause he was having lunch. I said sure. He never called. An hour later he texted and said he was stuck in meetings (I'm assuming work?) but really wanted to hear my voice and what time I would be up till. I told I was going to dinner and when i usually go to bed. He never called or texted back. I texted him good night and that I looked forward calling him eventually. Haven't heard from him since then. I'm getting tired of the inconsistent communication and I feel like he is stringing me along. He says he's really busy but he never seems to make time to talk so I'm thinking we need to part ways. I don't want to be someone's fun when they want me and just ignore me when they don't. I guess I don't know if he genuinely is busy or what and he never communicates to me about it. I feel like he doesn't have time to date but likes me. Or maybe he's a player. Who knows? Haha I hate being ghosted so what should I say to him to let him know that I don't think we should talk anymore? Or should I let him know how I feel about the communication? Like how would I tell him my boundary of keeping plans or texting back (for like plans not little chit chat) I told him in the past that if he's too busy we can take a break from talking because he hadn't texted in like 4 days. He sent a really long text saying he really liked me and wanted to talk but some things had come up in life. So I'm not sure. He also disappeared for almost 2 weeks and I didn't bother texting him. He texted me saying he had lost his phone at work and really missed me and hoped I wasn't mad. I told him I thought he disappeared and he could have emailed me (he has my email) but he said he never thought to email me. -shrugs- Thanks for reading ! He sounds like he's making excuses. If Obama can make time for Michelle, this dude can make time for you. I had a similar situation recently with a girl. Sometimes I wouldn't hear from her for a full day and she would say it was because of work. But in the beginning when we talked, she texted me every morning and every night. People make time for what they want to make time for. And nobody loses their phone for 2 weeks in 2016, he was probably talking to someone else during that time. Everybody has things going on in life, but if you know you're flaking and don't have time to date someone, it's not right to leave them hanging. He seems like a person who would totally understand if you ghosted on him, since he did it to you and whatnot. But if you want to say something, make it short and sweet. Like, "I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me." and if he says some bs like "just give me some time, I'll do better and free up my schedule", don't believe it.
hippychick3 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 He's either married or has a girlfriend. Stop wasting time and energy on a stranger which is exactly what he is no matter how much time you spent texting, chatting, skyyping, etc. Find someone closer and arrange to meet within a week. If the person can't meet within a week or 2, move on. Online is just a medium for meeting up, not a replacement for dating. 3
Gaeta Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 He is a complete waste of your time. You don't need to tell him anything just block his number and start looking for a local guy that is really interested in dating. This guy here is in a relationship, he has no intention of meeting you. He is just happy to get your attention when he feels like it. 1
longjohn Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 As a man, who works full time sometimes overtime, attends college part time, finds time for the gym and even cooks, cleans his own place... I hate to say it but if I were him and genuinely interested we'd have already met I'd have found an hour to have a cup of coffee. I think hippychick3 hit the nail on the head, he's with someone else already or he's just dating a bunch of different people. I've been on the other side of the planet in a different timezone and a different day and still found time to call, Skype etc people that are important. He's screwing with you best to get out before you do meet and he has you bated on the hook. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Pretty sure the reasons for not being in touch are fake excuses. Lost the phone for a week???? No one does that. They buy and replace at a couple of days max. I wouldn't go as far as to say he's married or has a serious gf. I'm sure he's just dating around OR it's as simple as you are not a priority and he's not that motivated about you. I wouldn't use the terminology that he's been stringing you along because I wouldn't consider what is going on between you a relationship, but yeah, I think you should move on. The excuses=lying. He doesn't sound interested enough to make this worth your time. In the future don't invest yourself into someone who you haven't met in person yet. In other words, he is showing you his cards (when he should be on good behavior), this shouldn't even phase you since you truly have a very low investment at this point and haven't met. I think you should laugh and move on. Good luck 1
smackie9 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Excuses=bs....stop wasting your time. I agree never invest your time in anyone that hasn't investing you/ met you. Keep those options open. Tip: date those who treat you the way you want to be treated. 1
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