kwhita1 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I met someone online; I don't typically do online dating but I gave it a shot & I met someone that sparks my interest, a lot. We live in the same state but he's 6 hrs from me so it's difficult to "date". The chemistry over texting, messages, phone calls, etc. is undeniable so we're trying not to let distance come between a possible match. I'd made plans to drive to where he is at the end of this month. However, I'm reconsidering now because our communication is horrible lately. We use to talk every single day but now I only hear from him once a week, if that. I know he has a job & kids so I try to be as understanding as possible. It's just, I feel like if you're really into someone, you make an effort to speak to them more than once a week. Especially in the beginning and especially when you haven't even had a first date. He always asks me "Are you still coming?", whenever we talk & he makes comments about how excited he is for me to get there. I am a little confused. Should I go or am I being given a subtle hint that I am right to take and back out?
joseb Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I met someone online; I don't typically do online dating but I gave it a shot & I met someone that sparks my interest, a lot. We live in the same state but he's 6 hrs from me so it's difficult to "date". The chemistry over texting, messages, phone calls, etc. is undeniable so we're trying not to let distance come between a possible match. I'd made plans to drive to where he is at the end of this month. However, I'm reconsidering now because our communication is horrible lately. We use to talk every single day but now I only hear from him once a week, if that. I know he has a job & kids so I try to be as understanding as possible. It's just, I feel like if you're really into someone, you make an effort to speak to them more than once a week. Especially in the beginning and especially when you haven't even had a first date. He always asks me "Are you still coming?", whenever we talk & he makes comments about how excited he is for me to get there. I am a little confused. Should I go or am I being given a subtle hint that I am right to take and back out? He lives 6 hours away, and has kids - surely there are better options for you? There isn't any chemistry via the phone and messaging - you have to actually meet someone for that to work - what you are talking about is fantasies. To me, it sounds like he is looking to do the least amount of work possible to get you to have sex with him, including expecting you to drive 6 hours. On your profile chances are you can set your location, and ignore people that are too far away. Do this before wasting time on non compatible matches. 3
Author kwhita1 Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 He lives 6 hours away, and has kids - surely there are better options for you? There isn't any chemistry via the phone and messaging - you have to actually meet someone for that to work - what you are talking about is fantasies. To me, it sounds like he is looking to do the least amount of work possible to get you to have sex with him, including expecting you to drive 6 hours. On your profile chances are you can set your location, and ignore people that are too far away. Do this before wasting time on non compatible matches. I tend to agree with you here. I'm pretty sure his motives are sexual (as with most men). I don't know if it exceeds that or not. I asked him to meet me halfway and he said he can't because of his kids. While I am understanding of the circumstances, it's not exactly ideal for me to drive 6 hours just to see him either. And suppose we did hit it off, how does a 6 hour travel work every time I want to see him. I think my best bet is calling it off as much as I would like to pursue it.
PogoStick Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 6 hours is too far IMO. And I think talking once a week is plenty for a girl I've never met. Why don't you just find someone closer? 2
Dis Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 I think you need to go with your gut and move on...you know this isnt going to pan out 6 hours is way too far anyway Sorry hun but focus on finding someone closer next time 1
longjohn Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Seriously why are you still talking to him. If he's not talking much anymore and when he does he asks if your coming to meet him then I think we all know what he's up to! Anytime I've met a lady using OLD I always ask her to pick a place she knows that's close by where she lives. The first thing I want to instill is safety and the fact I'm there to get to know them not have them trek an hour or in your case he's got you convinced to drive 6 hours to him! You realize that's a 12 hour drive for a "booty call" and a lot of disappointment. Men like that are the reason the rest of us have a hard time with ladies that suspect we only want a quick shag. 1
Author kwhita1 Posted July 10, 2016 Author Posted July 10, 2016 I've called the trip off. He didn't seem all that upset by it. Told me he understands and that was the only reply I got. Glad I did this before wasting time and money on nothing. 2
smackie9 Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 Have a check list of your expectations and stick with it. For example don't date anyone that is anymore than 30 mins away. If you date someone like 2 hours away, then you have to consider moving, seeking new employment, moving away from friends and family, etc. IMO you want it to be as easy as possible to see someone. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 10, 2016 Posted July 10, 2016 My guess is that he's met someone closer. Good for you for calling it off.. The distance would have become an issue. 2
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