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Exclusive, But Not Committed?!?


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Posted

Here's some of the most important backround information:

 

  • We're in our mid-teens.
  • We're in a long- distance relations (of more than 5,000 miles).
  • We've known each other for three months.

 

Now that you know all that; here's my problem, at the beginning (i.e. when we Skyped for the very first time, he asked to be exclusive; I agreed, and that was that.

 

Jump three months, he contacts me infrequently during the week, we don't Skype very much anymore.

 

I wanted to know where we stood with one another, he told me that; '[He] is unsure if [he] can have a significant other right now.'

 

If anyone has any advice, please help me.

Posted

Probably that he is quite sure he doesn't want a significant other at this point, but that he's unsure of how to break it to you gently so he's hoping you can take the hint and read between the lines.

 

Sorry, Agricorim.

Posted
Probably that he is quite sure he doesn't want a significant other at this point, but that he's unsure of how to break it to you gently so he's hoping you can take the hint and read between the lines.

 

Sorry, Agricorim.

 

I agree, he is what 16? 5000 miles away?

 

Doesn't bode well for a healthy functional happy relationship..... or even an unhealthy one.

 

He is fading out....

 

Too young to be tied down hun.... especially so many miles away.

 

I'm sorry too... :(

  • Author
Posted

Thanks for all your help. I did have an inkling beforehand; I think I just wanted some confirmation. ?

  • Author
Posted

I talked to him about it, but he seemed genuinely confused and surprised that I would come to that conclusion.

 

It's confusing me. It's making me doubt myself.

Posted

Where did you meet?

How long were you together before he moved away?

Is he away for good?

Posted (edited)
I talked to him about it, but he seemed genuinely confused and surprised that I would come to that conclusion.

 

It's confusing me. It's making me doubt myself.

 

Either he lacks the courage to tell you directly and is gallantly waiting for you to make the decision yourself, or he is playing games.

Edited by PrettyEmily77
  • Like 2
Posted

This isn't a real relationship you are just a internet penpal. Reality check: teenage guys always have their options open. If someone is there interested in him he's gonna go for it......and how would you ever know?

 

Don't do LDRs especially at your age. Go hang out with yer peeps and meets guys that way....at the mall, at the beach, at the park, etc.

  • Like 3
  • Author
Posted

I know all this, but whenever I try to talk to him he stonewalls me. How can I force him to be hones and frank with me?

Posted

Call him and tell him that he is right and that this long distance doesn't make any sense and that you both think you should see other people.

 

He will be honest then.

  • Like 1
Posted
I know all this, but whenever I try to talk to him he stonewalls me. How can I force him to be hones and frank with me?

 

You cannot force anyone in anything.

 

You will have to get use to it, in life you will RARELY have someone telling you the truth. Many men will just ghost with no explanation and you cannot force them in talking to you. You'll have to find closure within yourself. A lot of people on here have lost bf and gf and they were never given a reason or a good bye. Sorry honey, that's how life will be for you too.

  • Like 1
Posted
This isn't a real relationship you are just a internet penpal. Reality check: teenage guys always have their options open. If someone is there interested in him he's gonna go for it......and how would you ever know?

 

Don't do LDRs especially at your age. Go hang out with yer peeps and meets guys that way....at the mall, at the beach, at the park, etc.

 

I guess as she hasn't answered my question about how much time they actually were together, I'm assuming this is the case.

 

So what you have is a penpal, without benefits that just gives you headaches.

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