dpass Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 We've only been dating 6 months so it's not a long relationship, but I have known her for 10 years. She is my best friends ex and they have a 7 year old child together. If I break up with her, I'm still going to see her around from time to time. I also don't want it to affect my friendship. My friend (her ex) is the one who set us up. He was all for us dating and if I hurt her or go about this wrong, it could compromise our friendship. He's over her but he still cares deeply for her. We get along great, thus far have not had fights, have chemistry and have a lot in common, as well as common future goals. I love her son and have known him since he was born. She likes me a lot and actually liked me for the last 10 years, just didn't say anything. She is pretty happy with the relationship. The issues that I'm having are her family, her ex's family, friends and sex. The family and friends are all kind of bundled into one issue: they are not supportive. Basically, after her ex ended their relationship she was single for 6 years. She tried to date but dates didn't work out. Her family and her ex's family were quite rude about it and made rude comments about her being single for so long. Her ex's family thinks poorly of me for "taking" their sons ex, even though he left her. Her family thinks poorly of me for being with a close friends ex. My friends find it weird because they somewhat know her and knew she was with my best friend. For the most part they think it's unacceptable and don't think it will last. Even though her ex as straight out said, he doesn't care and he's over her (he's married). The other issue is sex, which I won't get too into. The sex is frequent but not great. Maybe it could be worked on, but zero progress has been made. It also is the reason her ex left the relationship. So leaving her because of it, and she will know it's because of sex, isn't going to help her confidence at all. How do I know if it's the right decision? Once I do it there is no going back.
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 It's weird how you are still dating your best friend's ex but as long as he was fine with it... have you spoken to your best friend about your issues? Maybe he can provide you with a solution or help you out with his family issues with you. For her family it's a different story but if you are absolutely sure you want to spend your life with her and eventually have your own kids you may want to clear that out with them directly. Or if it doesn't bother you so much not say anything to them try to justify your actions. Sex was always a major part in all my relationships. If it is not working I would just leave as this is a crucial factor in a relationship. Your case is a bit more complicated as she has a child, you are both grown ups but you need to feel good right? Also you need to have your own child as well eventually. Also I didn't quite understand your intentions - do you want to leave her or do you want to work this out? If you want to work it out I say go to some sex therapist or whatever to improve that or if you think this will mess her up read this or that around the Net and practice on your own. If you want to leave her however and you are absolutely certain of this just ease her in by letting her know it's the situation that's dragging you down and it reflects on your emotions and how you deal with the whole relationship. She should understand because that's a lot of pressure. Maybe that's why the sex is not great you are both too stressed. Think about it and decide what's best for you because after all it's your well-being that matters most...
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