borednlonely Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 Here's the time line. First we met at work. She had a bf I was single but right away I could tell she liked me. About a month later she had become single. She had moved to the city with her bf less then a year prior and now she's in the city alone. She didn't know many people. We hung out a few times Hooked up. At first it was real casual and I didn't want a relationship. And everything was fine she didn't want one either. It's about 5 months later now and we have spent the past two months practically attached at the hip. We went periods of nearly 100 hours together all day and night. She first started telling me she liked me and then I said it. About a month ago after flirt talking I told her I loved her and it was okay. She didn't say it then back to me. She did tho a week later. She says she likes me said she loved me but doesn't want a relationship at all. We have a lot of sex and it's fun. But I'm tired of how we hang out with other friends and some know we're kind of together and they tease us saying we're dating altho we say we're not. Some friends she totally acts like we're platonic friends. Some Ppl tell her she doesn't deserve me lol. But I like her. She is a party/social kind of girl. And there are a lot of guys constantly hitting her up but she turns them down. Even let's me read the msgs and sometimes help her respond. I'm kinda broke and these guys have lots of money but she doesn't ditch me for them. Recently we fought cuz she did hang with one guy two weekends in a row but because he bribed her with tickets to festivals. She says she hasn't slept with him. And I have to trust her. She doesn't want a relationship but loves spending time with me and having sex with me. Wpretty much do everything couples do... So what's her problem? I've even walked away and deleted her from fb and such and she pulls me back into her life. Just recently this happened. And I'm mad with myself for putting up with it. She's even told her sister about me. Tried to take me to her dad's once too which is out of town but he wasn't home that weekend. I don't get it. She just says she doesn't want a relationship and for the most part I believe she isn't sleeping with anyone besides me because we're always together... I think she just likes to use other men cuz they're dumb and buy her tickets or alcohol or other dumb stuff. Is that the reason she doesn't want a relationship? 1
OnlyHonesty Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I think she just likes to use other men cuz they're dumb and buy her tickets or alcohol or other dumb stuff. Is that the reason she doesn't want a relationship? You are asking yourself the wrong question...your ego is preventing you from seeing all of the red flags and you even mentioned one of them yourself. Why would you want to have a relationship with someone that uses men? it doesn't matter if they are dumb or not. I just don't get it. Use your head! 2
mortensorchid Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 She wants to keep playing the field rather than be with you, which is what she is telling you by her actions. I'd move on or seek out other women to see if that's how she feels. 1
bummer Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 Sorry, buddy You're just the rebound. Look at your own situation for red flags. You're a fwb and about to be played. Watch out. Not all rich guys are dumb. What are you going to do when a smarter rich guy starts buying her trinkets and distracting your butterfly? 2
Erik30 Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I think she just likes to use other men cuz they're dumb and buy her tickets or alcohol or other dumb stuff. Is that the reason she doesn't want a relationship? She's also using you, for your attention. She doesn't have to miss her ex because she has you. She probably doesn't want a relationship because you started "dating" her pretty quick after she broke up. Plus it's never a good sign when someone litterally tells you they don't want to be in a relationship. (They really mean "with you") Hope I'm wrong for your sake, but try to not get too attached because there's a pretty big chance she'll ditch you for one of these other guys some day. 1
smudge21 Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 She's having her cake and eating it, hell you're even serving it up for her. At first you were both just friends, that became FWB and (as always happens) one of you developed feelings whereas the other stayed FWB. You can't make her feel the same way you feel, and your feelings aren't going to suddenly vanish whilst she's still in your life. You need to lock this down and be honest with yourself and her - that you don't just want a FWB deal and can't take anything less. Then walk away. I doubt she's going to come running to you as she's living this life of freedom now, but it will eat you up to stay around, orbitting her life. Eventually she too will fall for someone, and you don't want to be around for that. As tough as it seems now, walking away will be easier than hanging around, being treated like an option.
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