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I can't stop thinking after reading the Jim Carey news...

Springsummer

By Springsummer
in General Relationship Discussion

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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So his ex killed herself apparently because of losing him.

 

Will you kill yourself if you are madly in love but it's not reciprocated?

 

Why is love so powerful? what is love exactly? Just curious about human psychology.

smudge21 Established Member

smudge21

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I always wonder about suicide and why people feel that low that the only way out is to leave it all behind. I have had seriously bad times, but never felt like giving up. I think a lot of this train of thought comes from believing that maybe there's something better after death. A perfect paradise, so maybe when people feel that only there will they be happy. Maybe it's therefore more common with people with religious beliefs. I don't know, I just find it sad, especially when young people commit suicide. The thought of missing out on so much joy, happiness, experiences...

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RecentChange Established Member

RecentChange

Posted
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I am going to hazard to guess that most people that commit suicide due to a break up suffer from clinical depression.

 

Studies show religious affiliation actually lower suicide risk.

 

http://www.adherents.com/misc/religion_suicide.html

Edited by RecentChange
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jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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I didn't read the note or whatever it was but did she elaborate at all? There can be a variety of reasons within the broad 'lost love' category, not the least of which would be intolerable anxiety or a sort of toxic shock from the feel-good chemical DTs that happens after you stop getting your fix from a deeply intense relationship. So ppl like that might be in romantic despair crisis that would nonetheless be manageable except they constantly feel like they're amped on 10,000mg of amphetamines at the same time and every moment-to-moment is an excruciating challenge to get thru. :-/

 

In that sense the "eff this, I'm out" moment isn't really bc of Jim Carey but bc dying literally seems to be a better option than living, physiologically.

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

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I think maybe emotional dependency and attachment are the culprits.

 

I used to really into a couple of men in my life. I thought they were perfect. I didn't even know them well enough, not to mention I wasn't even in a relationship. I was emotionally devastated when it turned out they weren't into me like I assumed. Can't imagine how I would feel if I were in her situation. I probably still won't kill myself even if I was dead emotionally. I don't know maybe because subconsciously I know there is something about myself and life that's more sacred than anybody else?

 

just gotten over someone emotionally by thinking he isn't as great as I assumed and there are plenty of fishes in the sea.

 

but will I ever really like someone again? who really loves me? life seems meaningless without liking someone. What is there to live for in this life without love? but what is love though? maybe it's just all a delusion?

 

struggle to find life meaningful and not lonely without love...

Edited by Springsummer
Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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Posted
So his ex killed herself apparently because of losing him.

 

Will you kill yourself if you are madly in love but it's not reciprocated?

 

Why is love so powerful? what is love exactly? Just curious about human psychology.

 

There is no way to know exactly why this woman committed suicide. However, if she told someone or left a note that said she did it because she lost him, it's not about losing that person -- ever. This woman committed suicide for no other reason than she was very unhappy with herself and for a very long time. She didn't love herself enough for whatever reason there was. Self-esteem was significantly damaged -- either by some guilt she was carrying or abuse suffered. This one man/this one love wouldn't carry that much power if she were strong in her core.

 

Otherwise, there wouldn't be very many people left. If you think about just the number of people who post here who have loved and lost and if they committed suicide because of that, these boards wouldn't be as active as they are.

 

Millions and millions go through intensely difficult break ups and never commit suicide. They may feel like doing it, think about it, but never actually carry it out.

 

There are men and women who have lost their children/entire families who continue to forge on with their lives. Yes, a few do commit suicide in parallel to those losses, but even then, it's not just about that, it was just the breaking point.

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CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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She had tried before, after her father's death in 2012.

 

She did not kill herself because she lost Jim Carrey.

 

She killed herself because she was mentally unbalanced.

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burnt Established Member

burnt

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Posted

I'll speak for myself here ONLY, not drawing any generalizations.

 

I have attempted suicide many, many times--all failed clearly.

Each time, the reason wasn't to escape to a paradise filled with apples and nectarines and angles with wings; it was to escape the emotional pain I was in that surpassed any measure of tolerance.

 

Physical pain has an element of measure to it. Meaning, if you are in some sort of physical pain caused by injury, the doctors can 'measure' it somewhat to prescribe a suitable pain killer to numb the pain and can tell you how long the pills will take for you to feel the relief from the pain.

 

The thing with emotional pain is that it has no visible measure; you can't show the wound in your heart to someone to show how deep the cut it. You deal with it alone. The need for suicide doesn't get built up over night. Yes, there are antidepressants, BUT all these medication are still at their experimental stages and these pills don't work for many many people. Yes they do work for many, but for a very large fraction of the depressed people these pills don't treat the pain.

 

You get severely abused year after year AFTER YEAR on and on and on and feel dead inside and detach from the world around you. Then one day you just want to walk out of the world where you didn't feel like you fitted in to begin with. You felt unwanted, betrayed, unloved, and lost. There's a limit to how much pain a person can tolerate before letting go of the desire to even want to connect to the world. We all have a breaking point.

 

Think of it this way:

If you loved someone and weren't loved back, do you keep at it for your entire life or do you move on to find another person?

Now imagine, if you do your best to fit into the world around you, and you keep feeling rejected and unloved by the ENTIRE WORLD, do you keep trying to fit in or do you eventually just give up in the world and let go?

 

That's what suicide is for me.

It is trying to have the LAST drop of dignity to be able to say,

I want to save myself from the pain and walk away from a world where I didn't feel like I belonged.

All the HAPPY and "mentally balanced" people can do what they want, but I have had enough of this life and just want to peacefully let go.

 

Those of you, who speak of suicide without the understanding of why someone tries it can cause a tremendous amount of pain to the ones who deal with suicidal ideation.

 

Attempting suicide is not being "weak". The people who attempt suicide went through years of pain that the "mentally balanced" people can't even begin to imagine.

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
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I'll speak for myself here ONLY, not drawing any generalizations.

 

I have attempted suicide many, many times--all failed clearly.

Each time, the reason wasn't to escape to a paradise filled with apples and nectarines and angles with wings; it was to escape the emotional pain I was in that surpassed any measure of tolerance.

 

Physical pain has an element of measure to it. Meaning, if you are in some sort of physical pain caused by injury, the doctors can 'measure' it somewhat to prescribe a suitable pain killer to numb the pain and can tell you how long the pills will take for you to feel the relief from the pain.

 

The thing with emotional pain is that it has no visible measure; you can't show the wound in your heart to someone to show how deep the cut it. You deal with it alone. The need for suicide doesn't get built up over night. Yes, there are antidepressants, BUT all these medication are still at their experimental stages and these pills don't work for many many people. Yes they do work for many, but for a very large fraction of the depressed people these pills don't treat the pain.

 

You get severely abused year after year AFTER YEAR on and on and on and feel dead inside and detach from the world around you. Then one day you just want to walk out of the world where you didn't feel like you fitted in to begin with. You felt unwanted, betrayed, unloved, and lost. There's a limit to how much pain a person can tolerate before letting go of the desire to even want to connect to the world. We all have a breaking point.

 

Think of it this way:

If you loved someone and weren't loved back, do you keep at it for your entire life or do you move on to find another person?

Now imagine, if you do your best to fit into the world around you, and you keep feeling rejected and unloved by the ENTIRE WORLD, do you keep trying to fit in or do you eventually just give up in the world and let go?

 

That's what suicide is for me.

It is trying to have the LAST drop of dignity to be able to say,

I want to save myself from the pain and walk away from a world where I didn't feel like I belonged.

All the HAPPY and "mentally balanced" people can do what they want, but I have had enough of this life and just want to peacefully let go.

 

Those of you, who speak of suicide without the understanding of why someone tries it can cause a tremendous amount of pain to the ones who deal with suicidal ideation.

 

Attempting suicide is not being "weak". The people who attempt suicide went through years of pain that the "mentally balanced" people can't even begin to imagine.

 

I am sincerely and deeply sorry if this post cause your to open up your wounds.

 

I can totally understand where you are coming from and know what you are talking about. I have only felt rejected by the world and feel like a total failure in the last decade or so. I seemed to be alright when I grew up. so I can't imagine someone who feel this way his entire life.

 

It seems like it's a very complicated human condition. How much is due to our 'weakness' and 'mentally unbalanced' and how much due to the unkind and cruel human nature of others? or the convolution of the two?

 

but I do know now I need to be mentally very tough and skin very thick in order to survive in this world, which I was totally unprepared growing up. Sometimes I am wondering how much more I can take of this world and of some people too. but alas, there are so wonderful and amazing things in this world and some people are nicer than me too. so I am still unwilling to let go, not matter how humiliated sometimes I feel.

 

Life indeed is very trying to some people, while some are just very lucky with it.

 

I think I shouldn't be defined by people and by this world. The very fact that I can feel, see, smell, walk, talk, sense, etc...is a miracle and makes me unique and sacred.

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preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

That's not love. That's mental illness.

carhill Established Member

carhill

Posted
Posted

Sometimes the road is pretty short. Between love and suicide I mean.

 

Kind of like genius and insanity.

 

Been in love a few times, married once. Only time I ever considered checking out was while caregiving and during a gallbladder attack. No romance in either of those instances. People, in general, just aren't that significant to check out of life over, IMO.

 

Cathriona probably had other stuff going on beyond any remarkable love for Jim Carrey. People are complex and Jim himself described her as 'too sensitive for this soil'

 

RIP

mikeylo Established Member

mikeylo

Posted
Posted

Yes, sometimes love can be very powerful.Have you heard of an odd couple dying few hours from each other? One can die of a broken heart. The pain can be unbearable for some.Its not that they are weak.Its just that they see their future shattered without that one person.Many can get up, brush it off and do next.

There is nothing to be ashamed of or being weak when loving someone deep enough.Yeah, many people live on but some dont.Their lives are never the same again. Its being human.

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