Hamish57a Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Her name is Donna, It's been a night mare for 36 years. We met in 1980 and we rushed into marriage and it was hell. We split and I totally forgot about her. In 2008 I was going through a break down, I lost my job and I was coming up on my 25th wedding Anniversary to a great person, Donna and I reconnected on FB. She gave me a reason to smile again and we had an affair. I felt guilty for what I did and my Marriage ended. I was a mess. I moved in with Donna but it was terrible because I was a mess, I just couldn't move forward, I alienated every one in my life. And I struggled with her for a year. We went through a terrible separation and I was on my own for a year, I was working again, life was a bit better but not much, I met some one else and rushed into another marriage, through out that marriage which lasted 6 years. Donna would contact me or I would contact her. Every 6 months or so and I truly believe that I love her. My relationship has ended, mostly because I was still a mess and because of contact with Donna. I was talking to her again but she doesn't want to meet, which is ok with me because I know I'm not ready for another relationship. She tells me she's married. lets see is this the 4th time or the fifth time. We tried to be friends and we argue, she gets fed up and blocks me. This morning another email from her. I am a better person than I was. I'm not a mess emotionally like I was and life is getting better, many thanks to this community for letting me express my emotions THANK YOU. I have told her that if she is married then don't ruin that relationship because of me and we should try and stay away from each other but it has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. and I still believe that I love her. WHY We did share some very good times, There's just something about her, I feel so comfortable with her, her smile, her quirky ways. But there have also been some very bad times, such as her charging me with assault when what happened didn't happen. but she had her sister swear in front of the Police that it did. I went through hell with lawyers and jail only for it to be dismissed but I still love her. WHY One thing I know with out a shadow of a doubt is that when I meet a woman again that I cannot have contact with her again. but it is very hard to stay away from her. my friends say she's not married and keeps stringing me along so that either I will give her money or that she doesn't want me but doesn't want any one else to have me. I think she probably questions her self why we have this connection as well. What do you think? long story but it's true
Author Hamish57a Posted July 8, 2016 Author Posted July 8, 2016 so we did talk two weeks ago and it ended in an argument, she said that's it I'm done about my. I said ok, she contacted me yesterday to ask if I was over my insecurities and I thought don't answer it but I did, and I told her we can't be friends. so she sent me an e mail to say ok. we will see, I have to stay strong and not be tempted but its hard. I must admit I like the attention and perhaps that's all it is. I know part of my problem is like to interact with familiarity, living in the past. so I'm going to make a real effort to move ahead and you never know that cutie I talked to yesterday may just turn into something. yeah I love writing about my issues. if I write it and read it, I believe it
NTV Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 I'm not sure what you're looking for. You've been heard. I think that journaling would help you out immensely. Especially because this lady sounds like she is and always has been poison, and you didn't mention your betrayed wife or any kids at all. It would also leave something behind so that in 20/40/60 years when you pass any kids can see where you came from when all this stuff was going down.
Alley16 Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 Relationships are not easy and they require work. We are not always going to be on the same page with our spouses. We are like trees, as our trunks grow our roots deepen. Sometimes we branch out and away but the trunk remains the same and if you stay the course you can always come to a mutual place. I don't believe we are to look back and continually punish ourselves for the past. Mistakes happened, look forward to being the better man you are today. You have wisdom and you know what or who to avoid. Some relationships are simply destructive. Choose healthy relationships and keep healthy boundaries. You are worth it!
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