TheMets Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Awhile back I was seeing this guy, on and off, he decided to take a break and he went silent on me, just a few months ago, we reconnected-he told me he was burnt out on our relationship, and only would like to get together once in a while, we hung out like normal, last time he told me he was looking forward to seeing me. Well, I've been reaching out to him and he went silent on me again! I have this urge to show up at his place and confront him, on why he's been ignoring me. Is this a good idea? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 No. Let it go and move on. He is not the guy for you. There is nothing to be gained from a confrontation. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Agree with the above. What are you hoping to achieve by this? He told you point blank that he would like to get only get together once in a while! He is clearly not interested in a relationship with you, but just fancies a casual as-and-when or FWB thing. If you're not down for that, just ghost him and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 He sounds done with you. Sorry! DO NOT go to his place uninvited, unless you want a huge fight with him or you want to catch him with someone else. Grieve, heal and move on is your best strategy here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 NO. NEVER. Only if you want to be labeled a psycho stalker. This approach doesn't work with guys. Nothing pushes them away more than desperation. Respect yourself and move on. I've done that a couple of times with some of my first crushes ever. Faced a complete and utter rejection. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Hamish57a Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 If you know he wants you then yes, but you don't know. I love it when a woman shows that they want to be with me. But it seems like your relationship is on his terms and that's not good. wait for him and start living your life on your terms. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Awhile back I was seeing this guy, on and off, he decided to take a break and he went silent on me, just a few months ago, we reconnected-he told me he was burnt out on our relationship, and only would like to get together once in a while, we hung out like normal, last time he told me he was looking forward to seeing me. Well, I've been reaching out to him and he went silent on me again! I have this urge to show up at his place and confront him, on why he's been ignoring me. Is this a good idea? No, on the basis of the bolded. Why? Commitment issues. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheMets Posted July 8, 2016 Author Share Posted July 8, 2016 I would like to confront him and if he didn't want to see me anymore like if we are done, then he should tell me to my face! People don't like confrontation, but if he didn't want to see me anymore, then why wouldn't he just text me that? It's a lot easier than to say it to my face. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Awhile back I was seeing this guy, on and off, he decided to take a break and he went silent on me, just a few months ago, we reconnected-he told me he was burnt out on our relationship, and only would like to get together once in a while, we hung out like normal, last time he told me he was looking forward to seeing me. Well, I've been reaching out to him and he went silent on me again! I have this urge to show up at his place and confront him, on why he's been ignoring me. Is this a good idea? No. What would be a good idea is to just ignore him and treat him like the person he is. Uninterested and using you for what he can get out of you. I can turn up at my beaus house unexpectedly because he likes me and wants to spend lots of time with me... in truth more than I want right now. So for him it would be a nice thing to do. The guy in your case feels smothered by you and doesn't want to be around you so it would be a very bad thing to do... Reconnecting, my ass, he just wanted a hole to poke. It really is that basic. Stop being his hole. Stop feeding his ego. Learn to respect yourself so you don't end up doing "crazy lady" stuff like turning up at his house to ask him why he is ignoring you after he has told you he is not all that interested and doesn't want to see you... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheMets Posted July 8, 2016 Author Share Posted July 8, 2016 Plus, he told me he was looking forward to seeing me last time, I have no choice but to show up at his place, unless he told me to leave him alone-then I showed up at his place to just talk to him that would make me a stalker, wouldn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 It doesn't matter what it "makes" you. The fact is, it's simply a bad idea and is not going to achieve anything good. You need to just move on. This horse is dead, don't flog it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Plus, he told me he was looking forward to seeing me last time, I have no choice but to show up at his place, unless he told me to leave him alone-then I showed up at his place to just talk to him that would make me a stalker, wouldn't it? You do have a choice. You can choose better quality men rather than mess about with idiots like this. This horse is so dead maggots are eating it... yet you seem to think its all peaches and cream and its going to end with roses and a ring. Quit deluding yourself. This is not a relationship. This is him calling you up when he wants to hit some tail. You comply and that makes him happy because he gets to stick his thing into a warm body... Then he ignores you and treats you badly and you keep going back for more... Get a grip and walk away. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 I would like to confront him and if he didn't want to see me anymore like if we are done, then he should tell me to my face! People don't like confrontation, but if he didn't want to see me anymore, then why wouldn't he just text me that? It's a lot easier than to say it to my face. He's showing you he doesn't want to see you anymore by literally not seeing you anymore - for you sanity and self-respect, stay away from the inevitable mind**** that will ensue. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 I would like to confront him Confront him about what exactly? He's told you he isn't interested in a relationship with you. Plus, he told me he was looking forward to seeing me last time You are attaching waaay too much meaning to this. It's just words. Just because he said that last time does not mean he's gonna want to see you on his doorstep uninvited. I have no choice but to show up at his place Of course you have a choice. You have the choice to just let this guy go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 So he's been on and off with you. Took a break. Went silent on you. Told you he's burnt out with you Wants to only get together once in a while. Yet, you continue to badger him to meet and now you want to show up at his home to get answers. What answers do you need? He's shown you over and over that you are not a priority. You have a choice -- have some self-respect and walk away. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 No! Wait until you're invited. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Wow and you believe him that he was "burnt out" from the relationship??? Hun he found someone else to go bump ug*&^ in the night with. He reached out to maybe get some sex out of you, but something... ahhhemm....*popped up* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NIGHT1985 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 You're a girl, it's so easy for you to get laid. This one is a lost cause, don't invest anymore time into him. Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 You will be perceived as a stalker psycho girl if you show up to his place uninvited. Silence is communication. He is communicating (even if rudely), that he is NOT interested. Stay away and keep some dignity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheMets Posted July 8, 2016 Author Share Posted July 8, 2016 What do I have to lose? Him not answering the door? I need closure. Heck, I could get shot tomorrow, die in a car wreck, get attacked by terrorists. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Awhile back I was seeing this guy, on and off, he decided to take a break and he went silent on me, just a few months ago, we reconnected-he told me he was burnt out on our relationship, and only would like to get together once in a while, we hung out like normal, last time he told me he was looking forward to seeing me. Well, I've been reaching out to him and he went silent on me again! I have this urge to show up at his place and confront him, on why he's been ignoring me. Is this a good idea? Why do you want to get so dramatic with it? Just leave him alone. Just drop the relationship, but him on block and keep it moving. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 You will be perceived as a stalker psycho girl if you show up to his place uninvited. Some men go for that believe it or not.... Even on this board, guys have posted there is just something about a "psycho" girl that excites them. They usually grow out of it. Hey read Lovelorn's latest thread! Her ex was (apparently still is) involved with a psycho chick. Can't seem to tear himself away I guess..... to each his own. Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Some men go for that believe it or not.... Even on this board, guys have posted there is just something about a "psycho" girl that excites them. They usually grow out of it. Hey read Lovelorn's latest thread! Her ex was (apparently still is) involved with a psycho chick. Can't seem to tear himself away I guess..... to each his own. Maybe it's because these "psycho" women are great in bed? Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Maybe it's because these "psycho" women are great in bed? No not "maybe" -- according to the guys, that is exactly why they're so into them! I also think it's cuz some of these guys are emotionally blocked... unable to express emotions as openly and unabashedly as these chicks... so that quality is attractive to them.... as over the top as it may be at times. I mean many people look for in others what they lack themselves... so maybe it's that too. All I know is I know a ton of guys who get involved with psycho chicks and can't seem to tear themselves away.... it's like they become addicted to the high drama or something and feel meh without it. Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 No. Absolutely not. Actions > words. He may have said he was looking forward to seeing you, but his actions indicate that he is not. His actions have shown that he is not interested in a relationship with you. I know that feels lousy, but think of it as a gift: He is giving you the gift of time. He's not wasting your time with a false impression that he likes you, which frees you up to pursue other options. Showing up uninvited will only serve to make you look like desperate and unstable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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