Lonely Cloud Posted June 27, 2016 Posted June 27, 2016 Hey guys, found out about this site last night. Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for helping each other it's fine to see. Okay this is my story: Me and ex dated for 2 and a half years, 16-18, and through the the relationship we where fine. A couple days ago she dumped me, wasn't a good dump because I went around and we talked it out. She told me her feelings aren't the same as they where at the start, she doesn't like how my figure has changed and my fashion. (I went from 11 stone to 9.8 and changed brands) She also said we'd been drifting apart, I agree we had been but college was ending so we both had exams and such to attend to. When we broke up I asked her if there was someone else, she said she just had eyes for a guy at work but wasn't sure. Well I've been heart broken, after we broke up I begged to have her back as we all do. Didn't work, she let me go around and we just cried together for the day. I haven't actually used NC till today, like today is the first full day I have decided to start it. All the other days I've just asked how she was and such, anyway I'm making this long for no reason. Do I have a chance? She said she was confused and didn't know how she felt about things, I don't wanna give up on her because she's one of a kind to me. Idk, just some comments would be nice. Like will a month of NC then ask to get a drink work? Or does it get better? Does the feeling of not being able to have love like that again disappear ? I'm scared. She taught me it's okay to cry and without her here to comfort me I just wanna commit. Thanks guys and I'm sorry it's so long.
YourNotAlone Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Mate I was in a similar situation to you but start NC first few weeks will be challenging but after that things will ease out and you will gradually start looking at other women, you're only 18 dude go enjoy your life and pickup some birds Don't give her a second chance at all because I will guarantee all my life savings she will waste another 2 years or more of your life and leave you out of know where again. . She probably has trouble figuring out her Abc's she sounds way too immature for a relationship move on and heal. Take care.
juniorrocha Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 You're both so young and have so much to live. Let her go. You do the same. If it's meant to be, one day you'll know. But for now, focus on you and your things, meet new girls, you're really young, you should explore a little more for now.
Author Lonely Cloud Posted June 28, 2016 Author Posted June 28, 2016 Yeah I do agree with you guys, I'm young and I should have fun but it sucks. It sucks that my idea of fun was never going out drinking, it's playing games or cuddles and cute **** now. I just feel like I'm on a roll a coaster of emotions, I know that if we're meant to be we'll come together I just hate that for my first relationship it left me in such a wreck. I've lost all confidence, all motivation and I'm just shutting everyone out, I just spend my time indoors watching YouTube :/ any ideas how to build confidence back? 1
Giggles666 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 (edited) //Yeah I do agree with you guys, I'm young and I should have fun but it sucks. It sucks that my idea of fun was never going out drinking, it's playing games or cuddles and cute **** now. I just feel like I'm on a roll a coaster of emotions, I know that if we're meant to be we'll come together I just hate that for my first relationship it left me in such a wreck. I've lost all confidence, all motivation and I'm just shutting everyone out, I just spend my time indoors watching YouTube :/ any ideas how to build confidence back?// It sucks, and it will suck time and again as you go through life, then one day it won;t when you meet someone. Time, patience and growth. You've had your first heartbreak, you'll be OK. You will ride a roller coaster for a bit, and this is something you can embrace and work through but do not dwell or obsess. Do not contact her, and get out some more. Work on yourself, love yourself and realize your self confidence and motivation are not determined by one girl, they are determined by you and you never settling for anything less than what you want. Do not sit inside all day, do not wallow...it's hard but try get out, even if it is for walks, runs, or just getting some sun. Also your brand and weight and height, if you like it and someone else is shallow enough to break up with you over such things they are not for you. Wear what you want, what makes you happy. Good luck, sorry to hear, time and patience plus understanding emotions will work themselves out and they are not rational. As fo getting her back, approach this like you will not forget about that. Work on yourself, you don;t want her back you want something new...plenty of fish in the sea at your age. You'll be OK, man and this is normal to think like you are. Even for some of us older folks, stages of grief. Then it's onward and upward for you. Edited June 28, 2016 by Giggles666
Author Lonely Cloud Posted June 28, 2016 Author Posted June 28, 2016 I got dumped a couple days ago, we'd been together for two years and hit me out of nowhere. When we broke up she commented about how I'd changed in figure and clothes, since we started dating I went from 11 stone to 9.8 stone, I gained muscles and when it comes to fashion I'll admit I became a bit obsessed but all I was doing was buying designer brands. My question is should I continue to work out? I enjoy it but I worry that it's less applying if someone has muscles, I'm a kind, dorky guy so muscles don't suit me but I feel more attractive :/ Thanks guys, I love you all so much and I thank this community.
basil67 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I suspected there were more problems than the fact that you were working out, so I read your previous post. It sounds to me like this was just a matter of the two of you moving in different directions and finding new interests. Losing a first love can be really tough because young love is so intense. But you will get past this and find more loves in the future. You'll probably date numerous girls before you find The One. Anyway, working out is good for you - just don't obsess over it. At least, not out loud.
Author Lonely Cloud Posted June 28, 2016 Author Posted June 28, 2016 For 2 and a half years we where best friends, I only share how I felt with her. Now that she's dumped me I'm meant to not talk to her, how? She said that I can take as long as I need, she has been understanding from day 1 that I depend on her. So she said it's okay if I need to vent because I can do it to her, is that okay? I wanna just vent and cry to her, my hearts in a tie, it hurts a lot right now. I'm in a foreign country for a holiday and it's all gone ****, I wanna tell her so she can make me feel better about life. I just need some comments on if it's meant to be like this. Thanks guys. edit- Can I contact her while on holiday? I'm finding it hard to enjoy this holiday a lot with her on my mind plus having a **** time away.
Zahara Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 For 2 and a half years we where best friends, I only share how I felt with her. Now that she's dumped me I'm meant to not talk to her, how? She said that I can take as long as I need, she has been understanding from day 1 that I depend on her. So she said it's okay if I need to vent because I can do it to her, is that okay? I wanna just vent and cry to her, my hearts in a tie, it hurts a lot right now. I'm in a foreign country for a holiday and it's all gone ****, I wanna tell her so she can make me feel better about life. I just need some comments on if it's meant to be like this. Thanks guys. edit- Can I contact her while on holiday? I'm finding it hard to enjoy this holiday a lot with her on my mind plus having a **** time away. You can't seek comfort from what hurts you. You need to cold turkey NC and suffer those withdrawals of not having her as your crutch anymore. You need to stand on your own two feet and weather this by yourself. Otherwise you're just prolonging your pain. We've all lost significant others, relationships that lasted years, people we've bonded and shared our soul with -- it's life. You have to let go, cut that cord and move on. Depending on her to help you heal is counter productive when she is what's hurting you. Seek your family and friends for support. 2
Charlie99909 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Never stop improving yourself. Working out will help clear your mind and give you something to focus on.
ChickiePops Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 You can do whatever you want..you don't need anyone's permission. Is it a smart thing to do? Absolutely not. It's only going to prolong your pain. Being needy isn't going to convince her to come back to you. Neediness isn't sexy. This is why you don't put all your eggs in one basket. It's not fair for you to depend so much on this one person that you need her to help you when SHE dumps you.
PegNosePete Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Can you contact her? Sure. Should you contact her? NO. If you do, you will feel a lot worse. Being "friends" with a recent ex that you still have feelings for, is the worst thing int he world. You will get hurt and hurt and hurt again. It will be like pulling the plaster off slowly and then sticking it back on, only to repeat tomorrow. Don't get into that cycle. Rip it off. NC.
Toodaloo Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I wanna tell her so she can make me feel better about life. Its not up to her to make you feel better about your life... That is your job. You are on holiday. OK its a bit rubbish but you may as well make the most of it while you can!
Giggles666 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 //Can I contact her while on holiday? I'm finding it hard to enjoy this holiday a lot with her on my mind plus having a **** time away.// If you want to feel worse, sure contact her. If you want to not feel worse NO CONTACT.
Author Lonely Cloud Posted July 8, 2016 Author Posted July 8, 2016 Hey guys, got dumped 2 weeks ago and have done NC for 11 days. Sometimes it's easier, sometimes it's harder and right now it's hard for me. I was just wondering if I'll find someone as beautiful as her? She was always really good looking and just my type, I was wondering if the chances I'll find someone like her is good or bad? Thanks guys
ExpatInItaly Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 OP, you need to be a lot more patient with yourself. Two weeks is nothing. You will need more time to heal and feel ready to move on. How long were you together and why did you break up? Someday, you will meet someone who knocks your socks off. And not just because she is physically beautiful. That is great and all, but not enough to sustain a relationship. The deeper qualities and chemistry are what supports a great connection.
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 You are doing great but this is very small amount of time. You need to keep on going. Also ofcourse you will meet someone better. Beauty on the inside is as hell more important than the beauty on the outside. Not knowing what you lived through however I cannot judge. How old are you? Why did you break up?
guest569 Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 I agree..Two weeks is very soon, you'll get there. Its 2 months for me and I have the same concerns. I've had a few breakups now and have always managed to move on and find someone new.
Author Lonely Cloud Posted July 8, 2016 Author Posted July 8, 2016 (edited) I get what you're all saying, I need to last longer but it's not just her looks. Her personality is amazing, she likes all the nerdy sad stuff that I like. For 2 and a half years we shares the same interests, she left me because she started having some feelings for a guy at work, she also didn't like my figure or my fashion. I mean we was drifting apart but we was both working and finishing college so we didn't have anytime. Idk I'm just missing her, normally at work I'm motivated because I'm excited to talk to her but not anymore. Thanks for the replies though guys. edit- Both 18 and this is my first break up, I just feel she's the one Edited July 8, 2016 by Lonely Cloud
ElsieA Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Your better than me the longest i did was 10 days and after that i broke the NC and trust me it was NOT worth it . Now im back to square one and hurting . We have to take it one step at a time
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Both 18 and this is my first break up, I just feel she's the one No she's not. You feel like that because it is your first break up but trust me I thought so too the first girl I was this attached to. Yet see me now.. hurting for my past love 3 months ago and it is probably my 4-5th one that I lost yet the strongest. Remember there will always be a chance to be happy not to mention you are too young still. You will know what I mean when you get my age and changed a couple of partners mate. Keep on going! Don't break NC and keep on going seriously you will thank us later!
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