CasualDude10 Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 So I met this girl two weekends ago when she joined a group of friends and I at a lake house in northern michigan. We are all 20-21 year old college students so we were partying on the boat, drinking, water skiing, tubing, etc. Prior to going up north, she added me on all of my social medias. Then, on the boat, I noticed she kept sitting by me and genteelly touching my leg when she would stand up and walk away. When we sobered up we talked a little bit and then just hung out with everyone and had a good time. Last weekend, me, two of my friends (the ones with connections to why I met this girl), her, and two of her friends went up north to her grandparents house, which was also on a lake. We did the same thing, and I noticed again when we were drinking she was showing interest by constantly sitting by me and doing the same thing. She also had a friend up there who was sitting by me and taking my phone (doing flirty stuff) and it seemed like it bothered her. When we were sober, we talked privately 2-3 times where she told me some pretty personal stuff about herself. I also got to know her grandparents pretty well because I would go talk to them by myself. The night we got back I texted her thanking her for the invite and I had a good time. I tried a couple times to end the convo to not text to much and kill attraction. But she would bring up a new topic for conversation and now we've been texting for the past couple of days. She even would snapchat me 24/7. The reason I am posting this post, is because to me it seems like she is attracted to me. (Do you agree?) The problem is, over the past 24 hours her texts went from her being hot onto me and responding quickly, to her now taking 4-5 hours to respond (I know she could be busy but when she was busy earlier she was texting me right away) I take this as a red flag. I do not have a problem with this at all for I do not need/demand attention 24/7. In fact, I usually do not text all the time, but the relationships that I have found success in, its the relationships I did text. Her and I are set to meet up with our groups of friends next weekend at a country music festival and then the following weekend her and I and a few friends are going to Winsdor and getting a hotel room. I do not know what to do about this. She just texted me back after 4 hour earlier today with just the suprised emoji face and i just sent the laughing one back. She hasn't said anything in four hours. Again, I am taking this as a red flag and do not think I will text her. I am interested in this girl, not in love or anything, just want some advice and opinions outside my own head. (Key points I forgot to talk about: The first being she was stoked that I showed interest in her grandparents. She is very close to them because she doesnt have a good relationship with her parents(she texted me saying "so my grandma called and said she absolutely loved you" which seems to me was a brownie point for me) The other thing is, I heard my friend say that her and this other dude hangout alot, and she seems to be interested in him. But he doesn't show interest in her, so they do not think they are going to workout. The last, is we are from neighboring hometowns, she still lives and goes to college there, and I go to college an hour away) So basically, does it seem like she is interested in me, or this other dude (probably would explain why she isn't really talking anymore)? I think I am going to lay low until the festival and see how she acts there. If she contacts me or seems into me there, I will more than likely ask her out on a date.
CryForNoOne Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 Sounds to me like she was flirting over and over, but you being clueless, did nothing. Now she's getting bored and moving on. Most women won't wait around forever for you to grow a pair unless they have no other options themselves, which clearly doesn't seem to be the case... 4
CryForNoOne Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 (Do you agree?) The problem is, over the past 24 hours her texts went from her being hot onto me and responding quickly, to her now taking 4-5 hours to respond (I know she could be busy but when she was busy earlier she was texting me right away) I take this as a red flag. I do not know what to do about this. She just texted me back after 4 hour earlier today with just the suprised emoji face and i just sent the laughing one back. She hasn't said anything in four hours. Again, I am taking this as a red flag and do not think I will text her. I am interested in this girl, not in love or anything, just want some advice and opinions outside my own head. Also I'm not sure if you understand the correct usage of the term "red flag". Her responding slowly to your texts is NOT a "red flag". It just means she's busy or not interested. A "red flag" typically refers to a hint or warning that the other person might not be suitable for you, or worse, are attempting to conceal an undesirable trait until after they reel you in...
Author CasualDude10 Posted July 7, 2016 Author Posted July 7, 2016 Sounds to me like she was flirting over and over, but you being clueless, did nothing. Now she's getting bored and moving on. Most women won't wait around forever for you to grow a pair unless they have no other options themselves, which clearly doesn't seem to be the case... Its been three days since we started talking.. And by red flag I mean her showing she is not interested. Not unsuitable. lmao
preraph Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 She's been throwing herself at you and then another girl tried flirting with you and she wasn't happy and probably didn't like that you just went along with it. If you want this girl, you need to get on it NOW and take her on a real date that you pay for instead of waiting for her invitations. Her and only her. Get on it. 3
CryForNoOne Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 Its been three days since we started talking.. And by red flag I mean her showing she is not interested. Not unsuitable. lmao I got that. Just letting you know that's not what "red flag" means! 1
AMJ Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 In other words, you guys hang out pretty often in person on weekend trips with friends, and in person she acts totally interested. But your hangup is about how she responds to you in text? I think you need to make a move and forget about the texting/snapchatting BS.
Grewd Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Wait.... You gonna waste yet another opportunity to take things further and find out for sure by watching how she acts? When are you going to act? What you say about the texting and red flags shows you have no idea what you're doing. There's no red flags here, you're making it up. Just occasionally have a few casual texts, just to keep some contact going until you see her again. When you see her again don't waste your time. If there's a natural opportunity for you two to be alone then take it. Touch her back some, do something. I'd even say it would be pretty safe to try slowly moving in for a kiss at some point, whatever happens next will kill every doubt in your mind. I would do something like that, because having doubts in my mind would feel like it's killing me. I would go far in removing them, to find out, to be sure and exit the state of limbo you're in right now.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 You need to step it up, OP. Ask her out - by herself. Not a group hangout. You're going to miss your chance if you keep dragging your feet. 1
Tribble Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 The night we got back I texted her thanking her for the invite and I had a good time. I tried a couple times to end the convo to not text to much and kill attraction. But she would bring up a new topic for conversation and now we've been texting for the past couple of days. She even would snapchat me 24/7. I do not know what to do about this. She just texted me back after 4 hour earlier today with just the suprised emoji face and i just sent the laughing one back. She hasn't said anything in four hours. Again, I am taking this as a red flag and do not think I will text her. I am interested in this girl, not in love or anything, just want some advice and opinions outside my own head. The two statements in bold completely contradict themselves. I don't get it. What do you want? This girl seems to keep chasing you. Flirting, touching you, talking to you, keeping conversation going and you...try and end it. Then when she backs off on the texts suddenly it's a 'red flag'. Even if I was interested in you, I wouldn't keep up with the texts if I wasn't getting anything in return. If you wanted to talk to her, if you liked her, you should have sent something more than an emoji. So far, she's shown interest and you've shown none. Why should she continue to chase? If you are interested, I don't think it's too late. But you have to act decisively and now.
Author CasualDude10 Posted July 11, 2016 Author Posted July 11, 2016 Thanks everyone for your input! HERE IS AN UPDATE ON THE SITUATION UPDATE ON THE SITUATION So the day after this post, she texted me and began contacting me a lot again. So after a while, I asked her about the other guy my buddy said he thought she was seeing. Here is how is went. Me: So I meant to ask you this sooner, but are you and (dudes name) dating> Her: Negative Me: Talking? Her: I mean idk if we've got that far but kind idk really Me: Alright well usually I would call and ask, but I was wondering if you were available sometime next week to grab dinner? Her: Aww well I would love to! But honestly I don't know what the situation with (dudes name) and I and I do not want to be a two timer. I like you and I think you're a great guy so I am gonna talk to (dudes name) and figure out what we are I guess then we can reevaluate the situation Her: But I am really glad that you asked Me: You know, I really respect that and I am the same way. Her: Thank you for understanding Me: Yeah no problem Her: Plus you already have the in because my grandparents love you And then we continued to talked for a little, but as the past couple days have gone on, we have gotten more distance/taking longer to respond. And today I have not contacted her yet and she has not contacted me. So do you guys think I should not contact her and wait for her to contact me or just move on?
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