I don't know if I want to date divorced men

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Part of me doesn't want to date men that have been previously been married with children. Although I'm in my 30's and this is more likely to be what my options are now ( it is more likely that i'll marry a guy whose a second timer - going into a marriage for the second time) I find myself not really interested in men who have been married before for some reason.

 

If they have children that's fine, but maybe I have seen guys still have to deal with their ex wives and for many I've seen it's a nightmarish experience.

I too haven't been married before or had a relationship that has lasted for more than 2 years so I feel like I would have nothing in common with these men that have been married before and I would fail at being a good parental figure for instance his children, children that aren't my own, because I haven't had the relationship experience or parental experience.

 

I think this is probably quite silly of me but are others out there not really interested in men who have been married before?

 

There is one guy that has been married before who was and still is interested in me. I knew it wouldn't work out. And this was two years ago. It wasn't the fact that he had been married before initially although, deep down, if I was to be honest, I think that was the truth. He use to bash his ex wife on dates saying he was in "desperate need of an upgrade" and he " wanted to marry someone with less relationship experience because he would trust her more and she would less likely to be promiscuous and cheat." I knew we wouldn't work out because as much as I want to marry and have my own children, i wanted to travel. He said he didn't. I said our directions in life weren't matching and he said he understood, but he still tries to pursue me now and then. He has objectified me in a way. Not in a lustful way. In a way that " I am the solution to a lot of his wants and needs". Even though i have said no a lot of times, that hasn't stopped him now and then from asking me out and asking me on dates.

 

Another guy I use to date that was previously married, bashed about his ex wife on the first date as well. He also use to bash woman in general. He wanted me to meet his son on the second date we ever went to. I found this inappropriate and he thought I was being selfish.

 

I just wondered if anyone else shares the same views as I do?

 

Thanks x D

[WhirlwindGuy]

Part of me doesn't want to date men that have been previously been married with children. Although I'm in my 30's and this is more likely to be what my options are now ( it is more likely that i'll marry a guy whose a second timer - going into a marriage for the second time) I find myself not really interested in men who have been married before for some reason.

 

If they have children that's fine, but maybe I have seen guys still have to deal with their ex wives and for many I've seen it's a nightmarish experience.

I too haven't been married before or had a relationship that has lasted for more than 2 years so I feel like I would have nothing in common with these men that have been married before and I would fail at being a good parental figure for instance his children, children that aren't my own, because I haven't had the relationship experience or parental experience.

 

I think this is probably quite silly of me but are others out there not really interested in men who have been married before?

 

There is one guy that has been married before who was and still is interested in me. I knew it wouldn't work out. And this was two years ago. It wasn't the fact that he had been married before initially although, deep down, if I was to be honest, I think that was the truth. He use to bash his ex wife on dates saying he was in "desperate need of an upgrade" and he " wanted to marry someone with less relationship experience because he would trust her more and she would less likely to be promiscuous and cheat." I knew we wouldn't work out because as much as I want to marry and have my own children, i wanted to travel. He said he didn't. I said our directions in life weren't matching and he said he understood, but he still tries to pursue me now and then. He has objectified me in a way. Not in a lustful way. In a way that " I am the solution to a lot of his wants and needs". Even though i have said no a lot of times, that hasn't stopped him now and then from asking me out and asking me on dates.

 

Another guy I use to date that was previously married, bashed about his ex wife on the first date as well. He also use to bash woman in general. He wanted me to meet his son on the second date we ever went to. I found this inappropriate and he thought I was being selfish.

 

I just wondered if anyone else shares the same views as I do?

 

Thanks x D

 

Well you do what is right for you; but keep in mind, not all previously married guys with kids are in the same situation as the people you met.

 

My ex and I are great friends, we have a great coparenting situation with my son. I think I'm a better guy for having had a son and a marriage. I know how to put others first, I know exactly what I want and don't want out of a relationship, and I know how to voice that without any ambiguity or games...a lot of solo guys and gals lack that ability sorely.

[Hamish57a]

I'm sure we don't have much in common, I'm 58 and have been married 3 times but I can't help but say that by saying you're not interested in dating men who have been married before you limit your chances of meeting a great guy.

Those men that you dated and criticized their exs aren't really a good example of men who married and for what ever reason things didn't work out. There are so many reason why relationships don't work. At least all men who were previously married actually committed themselves to a woman and they will commit to you if things go that way.

 

 

I think you have to treat every one as an individual and see where it goes but because someone was married that doesn't means it won't work. I'll tell you from experience I was married at 23 to the wrong person. It was hell, we were different and it didn't work, we split then I married 3 years later and was married 25 years. We split because I had an emotional break down and felt ashamed. I remarried 3 years later but I was totally screwed up and shouldn't of married and it didn't work out.

 

 

So you see different reasons and you'll never hear me bash my relationships because it was a two way street. All I'm saying is every one is different, don't limit your self to guys who are single, They may not commit to marriage ever. Just think, have fun, remember who you are and I hope you find some one that you can be with for ever

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

I'm sure we don't have much in common, I'm 58 and have been married 3 times but I can't help but say that by saying you're not interested in dating men who have been married before you limit your chances of meeting a great guy.

Those men that you dated and criticized their exs aren't really a good example of men who married and for what ever reason things didn't work out. There are so many reason why relationships don't work. At least all men who were previously married actually committed themselves to a woman and they will commit to you if things go that way.

 

 

I think you have to treat every one as an individual and see where it goes but because someone was married that doesn't means it won't work. I'll tell you from experience I was married at 23 to the wrong person. It was hell, we were different and it didn't work, we split then I married 3 years later and was married 25 years. We split because I had an emotional break down and felt ashamed. I remarried 3 years later but I was totally screwed up and shouldn't of married and it didn't work out.

 

 

So you see different reasons and you'll never hear me bash my relationships because it was a two way street. All I'm saying is every one is different, don't limit your self to guys who are single, They may not commit to marriage ever. Just think, have fun, remember who you are and I hope you find some one that you can be with for ever

 

Thanks for that. I've definitely been waiting long enough. Sometimes yeah, I wish I was married or at least I had a long term relationship before I met the right guy so that i could have some sort of experience in at least being with someone. A two year relationship between the ages of 18-20 barely counts as real experience anymore. I think being in a long term committed relationship really is better than being in a long-term self relationship in some ways. Sometimes I wonder what on earth would i have in common with a man who was once married before? what would he have in common with me? What would someone have in common with someone who was single for all of their 20's and early 30's?

[MissBee]

I'm sure we don't have much in common, I'm 58 and have been married 3 times but I can't help but say that by saying you're not interested in dating men who have been married before you limit your chances of meeting a great guy.

Those men that you dated and criticized their exs aren't really a good example of men who married and for what ever reason things didn't work out. There are so many reason why relationships don't work. At least all men who were previously married actually committed themselves to a woman and they will commit to you if things go that way.

 

 

I think you have to treat every one as an individual and see where it goes but because someone was married that doesn't means it won't work. I'll tell you from experience I was married at 23 to the wrong person. It was hell, we were different and it didn't work, we split then I married 3 years later and was married 25 years. We split because I had an emotional break down and felt ashamed. I remarried 3 years later but I was totally screwed up and shouldn't of married and it didn't work out.

 

 

So you see different reasons and you'll never hear me bash my relationships because it was a two way street. All I'm saying is every one is different, don't limit your self to guys who are single, They may not commit to marriage ever. Just think, have fun, remember who you are and I hope you find some one that you can be with for ever

 

On the contrary, just because a man got married before doesn't say anything about commitment. People marry for all kinds of reasons and even commitmentphobes marry but are never all the way in emotionally, even if they are legally wed. I have a male ex-friend now, who I am no longer friends with, precisely because he's getting married to a woman he has been cheating on the ENTIRE time they were dating and where he plans to continue to cheat on her. On the outside though, it would seem like oh wow, he's getting married, must mean he's committed...he's not. He's marrying her because he thinks marriage is something adults should do and she loves him more than he does her so he'll have a very nice wife who will cater to him while he cheats in the streets. I can't respect this at all and literally felt like throwing up seeing their engagement photos and all the comments about true love and such when I know this man has cheated on this woman up to 2 days before the announcement smh.

 

Similarly, I'm more weary of men and women, who seem to get married at the drop of the hat and have multiple failed marriages under their belt. It doesn't show commitment, it seems more like they aren't afraid to be hasty or to get married....but whether they are careful about the choice or can stick it out, well that has yet to be proven. All that to say, simply having been married is not synonymous with one's commitment level, it simply shows you're not afraid to be married...but that doesn't mean you can be committed, monogamous or work through a relationship for the longhaul.

 

OP, do what's best for you. If men who are divorced with kids aren't your thing, and you find that you can still meet men who fall outside of that, go for it. I'm in my late twenties, never been married, no kids, so ideally would prefer for a partner to be the same, as it is easier. There surely are men who are in your age range who have not been married and haven't had kids. Many have...but there are many who haven't either. So if that's your first preference, seek that out...then be open to the possibility of a good guy being someone who might have been married before no kids or married with kids, or what have you. I think having a standard to start with is always best and then if you meet an exceptional person who may not quite fit, then you can adjust and give that specific person a chance and see.

Edited July 7, 2016 by MissBee

[Hamish57a]

Just because a guys been married and may or may not have children doesn't mean he's not going to be able to share your likes or passions. As another poster stated, People who have been married know whats important to others, they can put others first, They can commit, they can be open to other peoples needs. And they can have other likes such as, movies, fitness, travel, dancing, etc, etc, etc. Please don't limit your chances of being happy.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Thanks for that. I've definitely been waiting long enough. Sometimes yeah, I wish I was married or at least I had a long term relationship before I met the right guy so that i could have some sort of experience in at least being with someone. A two year relationship between the ages of 18-20 barely counts as real experience anymore. I think being in a long term committed relationship really is better than being in a long-term self relationship in some ways. Sometimes I wonder what on earth would i have in common with a man who was once married before? what would he have in common with me? What would someone have in common with someone who was single for all of their 20's and early 30's?

 

Having said that, long-term singleness does make you a lot stronger though. It makes you tough. It doesn't disqualify you from finding love I just think it may make things a little harder in the first few stages of any romance because part of you thinks, " god I hope this one lasts" and you may have to go at it really, really slowly to get use to being in a relationship, which maybe different to the pace of someone who has been married for ten years prior to meeting you. I have in my experience just met some guys who have been married before that really seem to NOT like their ex's. Like they have a real ax to grind and I feel like I am in the hot seat of interrogation. Saying to someone " because you've been with less people means I'm likely to trust you more and you're more likely to be more loyal, unlike my slutty ex wife who use to sleep with a whole bunch of guys before meeting me and after me" doesn't mean that if we got together that I wouldn't and couldn't get emotionally attached to someone else and engage in an emotional and physical affair. In his mind, woman who have had an elicit past are people you cannot trust, woman who are either virgins or slept with only a handful of woman are people that are more likely to be loyal. I think for him his ex wife " cheating" on him has left a negative imprint and he has issues to work out on his own. But yeah, I guess, I am open to previously married guys but I feel a bit out of place in their presence sometimes and I think everyone should be wary if they spend the majority of their time dissing their exes.

[Gaeta]

I think yes it's kind of silly that divorced men are uninterested but unmarried fathers are ok. Unmarried fathers have the same responsibilities, same drama or no drama (with ex) then men that have been married. I fail to see what is the difference.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

On the contrary, just because a man got married before doesn't say anything about commitment. People marry for all kinds of reasons and even commitmentphobes marry but are never all the way in emotionally, even if they are legally wed. I have a male ex-friend now, who I am no longer friends with, precisely because he's getting married to a woman he has been cheating on the ENTIRE time they were dating and where he plans to continue to cheat on her. On the outside though, it would seem like oh wow, he's getting married, must mean he's committed...he's not. He's marrying her because he thinks marriage is something adults should do and she loves him more than he does her so he'll have a very nice wife who will cater to him while he cheats in the streets. I can't respect this at all and literally felt like throwing up seeing their engagement photos and all the comments about true love and such when I know this man has cheated on this woman up to 2 days before the announcement smh.

 

Similarly, I'm more weary of men and women, who seem to get married at the drop of the hat and have multiple failed marriages under their belt. It doesn't show commitment, it seems more like they aren't afraid to be hasty or to get married....but whether they are careful about the choice or can stick it out, well that has yet to be proven. All that to say, simply having been married is not synonymous with one's commitment level, it simply shows you're not afraid to be married...but that doesn't mean you can be committed, monogamous or work through a relationship for the longhaul.

 

OP, do what's best for you. If men who are divorced with kids aren't your thing, and you find that you can still meet men who fall outside of that, go for it. I'm in my late twenties, never been married, no kids, so ideally would prefer for a partner to be the same, as it is easier. There surely are men who are in your age range who have not been married and haven't had kids. Many have...but there are many who haven't either. So if that's your first preference, seek that out...then be open to the possibility of a good guy being someone who might have been married before no kids or married with kids, or what have you. I think having a standard to start with is always best and then if you meet an exceptional person who may not quite fit, then you can adjust and give that specific person a chance and see.

 

That's really terrible for the woman whose obsessively devoted to her cheater fiance. Have you ever told your friend that the man she is about to marry cheats on her? Constantly? without remorse?

[Gaeta]

Daisy: As you are a woman that has never been married or been in a long term relationship, as a woman that has no children, I understand that all of your life was about you. I am not saying that in a bad way. It's reality of life long single people.

 

When you meet men that have been married, or are fathers, those are men that have had to think of others before themselves most of their life. Yes that has a huge impact on their personality and how they handle life.

 

As a mother, even if my child is an adult, I much prefer to date a man that is a father because we relate better and we both believe in investing in others first than in ourselves.

 

I remember dating men with no long term relationship and no children and we definitely did not mesh well.

 

Having been married and having had children it changes something in us forever. It changes a little something that is still intact in you.

 

On second thought I think you are right, meeting someone that falls in the same category as you would be much simpler and more enjoyable for you.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Daisy: As you are a woman that has never been married or been in a long term relationship, as a woman that has no children, I understand that all of your life was about you. I am not saying that in a bad way. It's reality of life long single people.

 

When you meet men that have been married, or are fathers, those are men that have had to think of others before themselves most of their life. Yes that has a huge impact on their personality and how they handle life.

 

As a mother, even if my child is an adult, I much prefer to date a man that is a father because we relate better and we both believe in investing in others first than in ourselves.

 

I remember dating men with no long term relationship and no children and we definitely did not mesh well.

 

Having been married and having had children it changes something in us forever. It changes a little something that is still intact in you.

 

On second thought I think you are right, meeting someone that falls in the same category as you would be much simpler and more enjoyable for you.

 

Does a 2 year relationship count 13 years ago? I still remember that one. Some would call that experience? No? probably not.

[BaileyB]

I kind of agree with what Gaeta just said. You need to find someone you are compatible with and maybe that is not a man who has children and other priorities in life.

 

I will say, the guy I have been dating for the past few months has been married before and has a child. He is lovely. He has established healthy boundaries with his ex wife and he is a great father. We have so much in common... I feel like I have been waiting to meet him for so long. I have never been married and have no children. I've dated men that are in their 30's and 40's who have never been married and have no kids... Some of these guys are not great choices either (lacking social and relationship skills, very self-focused, etc...). I think you want to find the right person for you - and when you do, it won't matter if he's been married before and has children or not.

[kendahke]

What about a man who lived with a woman long term? Plenty of people cohabitate for years if not decades and then break up. Some of those relationships produce children, too.

 

Unfortunately, you're in an age group where men have been married or in long term relationships already. Unless you're willing to date much older men whose children are grown and out of the house and out of his wallet, or much younger men who have barely been out of their parents' house, you may have to reconcile yourself on what realistically are your choices.

 

I'm 56 and never married, but I do have a 33 yr old daughter, so in that respect, I prefer a man around my age who has grown, out of the house/wallet children because we know that road because we've both been down it in our lives. When I was in my 30's, dating was tough because I was hung up on not being with someone who was previously married. Needless to say, I spent most of my 30's by myself until I got over the whole divorce/them having had a life before me.

Edited July 7, 2016 by kendahke

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

What about a man who lived with a woman long term? Plenty of people cohabitate for years if not decades and then break up. Some of those relationships produce children, too.

 

Unfortunately, you're in an age group where men have been married or in long term relationships already. Unless you're willing to date much older men whose children are grown and out of the house and out of his wallet, or much younger men who have barely been out of their parents' house, you may have to reconcile yourself on what realistically are your choices.

 

I'm 56 and never married, but I do have a 33 yr old daughter, so in that respect, I prefer a man around my age who has grown, out of the house/wallet children because we know that road because we've both been down it in our lives. When I was in my 30's, dating was tough because I was hung up on not being with someone who was previously married. Needless to say, I spent most of my 30's by myself until I got over the whole divorce/them having had a life before me.

 

I don't mind dating someone who has been in a long term relationship before. They could teach me how to be in one for starters! leading me into it gently! I think a lot of men like being in the lead anyway, gives them a bit of an ego boost, which is fine by me, so long as they're fine that I may need some time to get use to being in a relationship and to not expect miracles over night.

 

So long as their ex is a distant memory as far as they and I'm concerned. Dragging up past memories of an ex and talking about her, I don't need to hear all of that. They were in a long term relationship, fine, let's move on, I don't even need to know of the persons name! It's their business and not mine.

 

But someone who has kids, it just means that their ex will be constantly in their lives, and someone who bashes their ex- well, I think well what's not to say they won't start bashing me? verbally that is.

 

If they have kids that have flown the coop that's much better, but if they are much older and don't want any more children that might be a bit of a challenge because I do.

 

I think I am best suited to someone who hasn't had children before. I think that's just me.

[Gaeta]

I don't mind dating someone who has been in a long term relationship before. They could teach me how to be in one for starters! leading me into it gently!

 

There is no secret to long term relationship. If you love each other then it will come to you naturally. The qualities to succeed at a long romantic relationship are the same qualities that are required for long friendships, and long relationship with family. It's respect, consideration, patience, honesty. You're familiar with those.

 

Don't you think not wanting to know the name of your BF long term relationship is a bit extreme?

 

And for those men with grown up children, the ex-wife will always be there, she will attend wedding, christening, funerals, you will have to come across her even if their children are 40 years old.

[BaileyB]

There is no secret to long term relationship. If you love each other then it will come to you naturally. The qualities to succeed at a long romantic relationship are the same qualities that are required for long friendships, and long relationship with family. It's respect, consideration, patience, honesty.

 

I love this! So true.

[blackcat777]

It's not the ex-wives that are a problem...

 

It's the inappropriate emotional attachment or unwillingness to move on from the past that is the issue. You need to find a guy who deals with whatever life throws him in a healthy way.

 

Some people need more time after a huge split and they date too soon. Bashing an ex wife would be a red flag of NOT READY TO DATE yet.

 

A family member was seeing what would have been the perfect woman for a long time... except, she could never get over the fact that she was enmeshed in a divorce (that has been going on for years and probably will go on for another decade). Her entire identity was built on her religious purity which encapsulated NO DIVORCE and she just. couldn't. get over it. or move on.

 

It was a shame. A wasted opportunity. The moral of the story is to vet better while dating.

 

And dating is rough. It's a numbers game. You have to keep digging, keep trying, and never let it get you down.

 

You WILL meet someone eventually.

 

Don't pursue fundamentally incompatible people because of sexual attraction... That spark wears off. Find someone on a similar path.

 

I wouldn't ever want to have another date with someone on an ex-bashing path, personally.

[longjohn]

As a divorced man in his 30's with no children and no desire to bash the living bejeysus out of my ex wife I have to ask a question. Where are you finding these tossers? Seriously those fella's are total and utter arseholes. You need to up your game a find an actual gentleman.

 

I can relate to what you want vs what your getting. I'm too in much the same boat. A lot of my potentials candidates for dating are off the list because I don't want a lady that has children and then to deal with her ex, the children and the potential for drama. Then I thought it over a few times and realized. There's plenty of ladies out there that have ex's, children and next to no drama going on beyond the usual business of a family. Then I rethought it, did I want a family. The jury is out for now on that because I too want to travel a bit more, see more things and do a few more things before I come back around to that question.

 

My advice find an actual man to date not those types of arses. Take your time, travel, see things, think things over. Make up your mind what you want, what you'll accept but don't settle. Better to be alone and happy than with someone and miserable. At leas that's how I see things.

[carhill]

I just wondered if anyone else shares the same views as I do?

 

Well, I never would have had sex, much less married, if I had written off divorced women because after age 18 I rarely met a woman who wasn't married and definitely none after 25. After reading your post, I was astonished to realize I've only met one woman of my generation without children out of thousands and, heh, I married her

 

However, your experiences with dating divorced guys ring a lot of bells and it's up to you whether you want to run that gauntlet or simply enjoy no-relationship casual sex or stay single and celibate waiting for the perfect unmarried no children guy to come along. Possible? Sure. No guarantee of anything other than no divorces nor children. Ex- GF's, probably, so baggage from that can be just as distasteful.

 

If you're in your 30's, there are plenty of options and guys are getting married for the first time far later than in my generation. Make a decision and enjoy the ride.

[Eternal Sunshine]

For me, divorced doesn't matter as much as children. I can't relate to men that have children. To be honest, all their parenting issues really bore me and they seem to be about 80% of the conversation. I know that at my age, a childless men are hard to find. But my very strong preference would be never married with no children. Someone that's a late bloomer and has similar life experience to me - preferable also has been single for a long time. My longest/most serious relationship lasted around 2 years or so. I lived with an ex for a year. I have been single for most of my life. It's also really hard to connect to men that say how the their child is "the meaning of their life" and "their life purpose". I never wanted children and I just don't get that at the very basic level. Actually, I pretty much want a male version of myself

 

Unfortunately, I also find that men that are divorced/have children spend a large amount of time talking about their ex wives or child mothers. A lot of it is in a really unflattering light. Or even comparing me to them right off the bat "Oh I can already tell that you are so different to my ex!"...please. It doesn't even matter if it's positive or negative....it's just too much time spent talking about the ex. Leave that for after first few dates if you must...One guy showed me a picture of his ex wife with a new boyfriend and asked me if I think she looks like she is pregnant in the picture...because he thought she probably already got pregnant with the new bf. Just no

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

For me, divorced doesn't matter as much as children. I can't relate to men that have children. To be honest, all their parenting issues really bore me and they seem to be about 80% of the conversation. I know that at my age, a childless men are hard to find. But my very strong preference would be never married with no children. Someone that's a late bloomer and has similar life experience to me - preferable also has been single for a long time. My longest/most serious relationship lasted around 2 years or so. I lived with an ex for a year. I have been single for most of my life. It's also really hard to connect to men that say how the their child is "the meaning of their life" and "their life purpose". I never wanted children and I just don't get that at the very basic level. Actually, I pretty much want a male version of myself

 

Unfortunately, I also find that men that are divorced/have children spend a large amount of time talking about their ex wives or child mothers. A lot of it is in a really unflattering light. Or even comparing me to them right off the bat "Oh I can already tell that you are so different to my ex!"...please. It doesn't even matter if it's positive or negative....it's just too much time spent talking about the ex. Leave that for after first few dates if you must...One guy showed me a picture of his ex wife with a new boyfriend and asked me if I think she looks like she is pregnant in the picture...because he thought she probably already got pregnant with the new bf. Just no

 

yup you seem like me as a person! maybe we should date! just kidding ( and no I don't swing that way) Oh yes I think much ex talk is a bit too far fetched its like listening to a melodrama that you were never cast in. I do want kids though.I am open to dating a divorce man, just someone who keeps his ex at a healthy distance and doesn't need to talk about her all that often. I don't need to know her! and yes, I have been on dates when the ex comes up a lot- like dude can't we enjoy a drink without hearing her name for five seconds? am I being punked? is she under the table or something? because the amount of times this woman's name is mentioned, she may as well be here. Taking out a picture of her new boyfriend and then asking if you think she looks pregnant is all sorts of shades of wrong I can't even begin! why does he have a picture of his ex and her new boyfriend on the ready anyway? That's one way to scare off dates!

[MissBee]

That's really terrible for the woman whose obsessively devoted to her cheater fiance. Have you ever told your friend that the man she is about to marry cheats on her? Constantly? without remorse?

 

She isn't my friend. I know him, but his fiance isn't someone I know personally.

[NTV]

I think what you've done is tied two unrelated things to give yourself a rule that doesn't pass the logic test... by that I mean that if I dated someone who kept dissing her ex (boyfriend fiance husband) I'd jump ship quick too. It's unattractive at minimum and a predictor of how they would see or talk about you if things didn't go 200% perfect like they have in their mind.... no that's a big red flag.

 

But I don't think assuming all 30 year old divorced dad's fit in that category is safe either. It's pretty normal after a divorce for their to he some bitterness. Especially if there was cheating. But folks that try to say one thing or another causes infidelity are just trying to find an outlet for anger... and I know I wouldn't want to be that outlet.

 

So yeah. .. I hope what I've said helps lol. Good luck!

[Poutrew]

You have to do what works for you. Myself, I like to keep things simple. To me, that means no melodrama. That usually means women whom have never been married or in a long term relationship, and yeah, like Captain Picard of the Star Trek's USS Enterprise, I don't want children on the command deck, if you know what I mean. Sure, it means you may not be dating as much or as often, but the fewer dates you do go on will have more meaning for you. And, isn't that why we date? Not sex really, but to find meaning. Also, as an older person, as long as you keep your attitude upbeat, there will be dates... heck, I'm a man in my 50's and I am still dating as many 30 year olds as I want to and have time for. And 40 year olds, etc. Just, keep it simple and have an upbeat attitude, and you'll eventually get where you want to go, just don't rush things...