I need someone to tell me if she's playing games or what?

[Eddie Gonzales]

Well. We weren't exclusive, we had a fling. It ended six months ago.

 

We have a very good mutual friend. She also knows my brother a little. All this info is important.

 

I reached out to her a couple of weeks ago and asked if she wanted to meet up for coffee, and she immediately reached out to our mutual friend to ask her what she should do/reply. Anyways, we met up for coffee. It was very nice, but she downright told me that she's seeing someone else and I should know that. So I left it at that of course and started to move on slowly.

 

Our mutual friend told me later that she heard that this new guy wasn't acting interested in my ex-fling and was downright cancelling dates on her and replying 3 DAYS after she texts him.

 

I, of course, didn't really do anything, but the following day my ex-fling called my brother like she never does to ask him if he could help her find a present for this new guy for his b-day. During the phone convo she also told him how nice her new fling is, what pet name he calls her and how fantastic he is. Keep in mind I know at this point how he treats her through our mutual friend, but she doesn't have a clue I know. My brother comes up to me completely shocked what had just happened and told me. I thought it was bizarre to ask my brother, who she rarely even freaking texted before to help her find a present for her new fling.

 

A week or so later, and after MONTHS of no initiating anything, she texted me asking me about my new job and stuff like that. I replied and we had a convo through text. It was weird she reached out to me, but I didn't think much of it as I was prepping to go out and have fun with our mutual friend. While we were out having fun, SHE CALLED ME on my phone! I answered and she told me to hand my phone over to our mutual friend (she knew we were out together through snapchat). I did so and could hear she was telling her something about that new guy she's seeing. This time though she was bitching about him, because he hadn't replied to her text for a few days or something like that. Both me and our mutual friend thought it was bizarre, because she didn't even TRY calling my friend. She called me and asked to hand the phone over! And it was the same day she suddenly reached out to me. I went home very confused.

 

Anyways, a week or so later I finally reached out to her again. We had a short convo, but she suddenly stopped replying. And it wasn't just a text - it was a QUESTION because she complained she didn't like returning home from Florida this early (I asked her "So why didn't you stay in Florida for another week?"). No reply and it's been days.

 

When I put something on my snapchat story she's always the first one to check it out and I sometimes receive some cryptic snaps from her that I have a feeling were sent only to me. I don't respond to them because I'm not 100 percent sure.

 

However, what's going on with her? I need to inform you guys before you get all "move on and let this one go" on my ass that I still really like her, I want her back and I want to know what to do now. I am interested in hearing your opinion though, so feel free to respond.

 

I'm just extremely confused, our mutual friend is confused too. It's just

[ExpatInItaly]

She is checking if you're still around in case the new guy doesn't work out.

 

And yes, she is more or less playing games. Be careful.

 

A couple questions: why did you stop seeing each other before? And was there a particular reasons it never progressed past the fling stage?

[guest569]

I agree. Games.

 

It was a fling from long ago.. Cut her off and move on for good

[Eddie Gonzales]

I agree. Games.

 

It was a fling from long ago.. Cut her off and move on for good

But WHY is she playing games? Is it because the new guy isn't what she'd hoped he was?

 

Also, we all know had it been perfect between them and they were happily in love then she would NOT care if I knew about it or not. She would not try to make me jealous and she definitely go out of her way like that.

[Eddie Gonzales]

She is checking if you're still around in case the new guy doesn't work out.

 

And yes, she is more or less playing games. Be careful.

 

A couple questions: why did you stop seeing each other before? And was there a particular reasons it never progressed past the fling stage?

It didn't progress because I was leaving to work abroad. We just agreed it would be a fling, but it ended because we had a huge fight about something completely childish and irrelevant. We didn't speak until I reached out about coffee some weeks ago.

 

I'm just confused - she doesn't act like she's over me yet? Is there something still there for her? And why didn't she reply to my last message? Why this hot and cold behavior?

[ExpatInItaly]

It didn't progress because I was leaving to work abroad. We just agreed it would be a fling, but it ended because we had a huge fight about something completely childish and irrelevant. We didn't speak until I reached out about coffee some weeks ago.

 

I'm just confused - she doesn't act like she's over me yet? Is there something still there for her? And why didn't she reply to my last message? Why this hot and cold behavior?

 

Because she still wants her new relationship to work out.

 

But in the event it doesn't, she's seeing if you'll be Plan B. That's why she is inconsistent. When things are going well with her new man, when he calls or sees her, she ghosts you. When she's not getting attention from him, she drops hints in your direction.

 

If this new guy decides he wants to commit, I can nearly guarantee you won't hear from her anymore.

 

Is that what you want?