Versacehottie Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Honestly? Well you might not want to hear it but I would think it's not the right time to be dating you. I would want to wait until you sorted things out much more. I wouldn't necessarily think you were or were not a loser or damaged goods. However, when a woman is ACTUALLY in the situation, what she thinks she will do and what she will do can be two very different things. That said, it's not ideal at all and bound to cause problems. Now some people are just dominant in that their homes are usually the ones used or time spent there in a relationship. If she is actually that person and most time is spent at her house anyway because of what the dynamic is & she likes you, it may not be a problem for her. If she is actually looking at the overall picture vs day-to-day logistics, she probably should care. The fact that you are in this situation for any amount of time over a year, is indicative of maybe not the best situation to be in a relationship and she'd be wise to consider it. All of what I said is speculation, another woman could totally do something different and have a different thought process, which is all that really matters in the end. But as a general perspective, this is how I would process your details. Just talk to her and if you have a "plan" for how this is a temporary situation that would make the best impression on me. Good luck.
oldshirt Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 I'm not a train wreck, but my living conditions are. . To a woman, you ARE your living conditions. Think about that statement for awhile. 2
Toodaloo Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 ...and sex too, don't forget... That would have made me feel like a hooker... Its just so... crass, isn't it... nothing sexy about it at all under the circumstances... 1
SoleMate Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 I've got the solution for you! Remodel the house you own to provide private and dignified living space for you.......a completely separate, lockable living space with bathroom, kitchen, and living and sleeping spaces. Probably a typical studio size. It must have its own entry from outside for privacy. You can live there full time. You're close to your kids at all times, yet private like anyone in a separate apartment would be. You live your life separate from your ex-wife, yet close to your kids. When it's your custody time, you cook with them and hang out with them in your space, and they can go back to their own rooms to sleep. It's not perfect, but given the severely constrained situation, it's your best bet. 2
SoleMate Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Because there is no way a decent woman is comfortable to have sex with you in any of the 3 crash pads you have available.....especially knowing that you could do better, you just choose not to. 1
Author drew_meister Posted July 27, 2016 Author Posted July 27, 2016 I've got the solution for you! Remodel the house you own to provide private and dignified living space for you.......a completely separate, lockable living space with bathroom, kitchen, and living and sleeping spaces. Probably a typical studio size. It must have its own entry from outside for privacy. You can live there full time. You're close to your kids at all times, yet private like anyone in a separate apartment would be. You live your life separate from your ex-wife, yet close to your kids. When it's your custody time, you cook with them and hang out with them in your space, and they can go back to their own rooms to sleep. It's not perfect, but given the severely constrained situation, it's your best bet. That's actually a great idea except it's not a single family residence. It's a typical SF Edwardian flat - basically a triplex. We own one level of a three story building with 3 separate entrances. What you are suggesting is not possible.
Author drew_meister Posted July 27, 2016 Author Posted July 27, 2016 Well things ended a couple weeks ago. I'm now dating a new girl and things are going well again but the dreaded living conditions situation is rapidly approaching. The good news is I have a couple houses in escrow where I'm the listing and buyer's agent. August could be a very good month which would allow me to move into my own loft for at least 12 months and then hopefully the market stays hot...
Toodaloo Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 You just got to chase it down and get it sorted. Divorced guy who is working his ass off, earns well but is homeless because he is paying his ex wife everything and is banding over to her saying "spank me harder" is not sexy. Its completely off putting. not at all datable and hardly worth a shag to put it bluntly. Divorced guy who has got his s*** together and separated properly from ex and is a good father and has set himself up so his children can spend quality time with him in his own home and is a good father is a pantie wetter. Just saying.
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