Stuckdude Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I would appreciate if I could perhaps have advice about my current situation. I hope you can take time to read it. I'll add a TL;DR version at the end , many thanks! I am 20 years old but never have been involved in a sexual relationship. I never had those sexual experiences people in school managed to get because growing up was very difficult for me, because I have Aspergers Syndrome. I have been told it is very mild and I can understand people much better now and humour, but I still have trouble making eye contact and reading body language. I really want to try and start dating now because I really seek the closeness and affection associated with having a partner, as for years have consumed pornography and feel I'm wasting away being lonely. I want to feel close to somebody as I don't think I can say I've felt close at all to anyone in my life. I would like some advice on how to start dating. I am going to live away at University end of next month to try be more independent and I hope I can take this opportunity to meet women. Where I live has been a hinderance to meeting women not much goes on, wheares Ill be going to a city. People recommend social groups, bars etc. but these environments have a lot of noise and things going on at once, and I am sensitive to noise because of my Aspergers. And I don't feel at present socially confident enough to introduce myself to a girl in a cold approach. So I've thought about online dating as my main way to try and date. Would this be a good choice or should I not limit myself to that and try and put myself out there outside the house? My pool will probably be smaller than others anyway. Another thing is perceiving body language or romantic/flirty hints. Because I feel myself not really reading people's body language and breaking eye contact I'm worried about this being a issue. What are the common subtle hints she is interested or ways of speaking that can be flirty and wants you to do this back? I know its got to be the man that makes the next bases and I want to do it right. The last things is when would it be the right time to tell someone about my diagnosis? I would have to tell them some point but I don't want to say it at the wrong time and trust them too easily but it would explain why I don't feel comfortable doing things people without Aspergers like to do. TL;DR version - Is online dating a recommended way for people with Aspergers to date or should I be introducing myself to women I like anywhere and everywhere to build confidence? What are the subtle hints or suggestive flirty language that could be a sign she likes you? And when would be the right time to tell her about my diagnosis? I don't want to say the wrong time and blow it. Thanks!
serendipity90 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Well my ex had aspergers and he met his previous girlfriend through a aspergers dating website. Then he met me through a social anxiety meetup group. Meetup.com is a good way to meet people in a less pressured environment. I'm not the best at flirting but I felt a connection with my ex so maybe it was lingering looks and goodbyes that told him I was interested in him. I understand your feelings about telling someone about your diagnosis, you don't want to put them off getting to know you but you don't want people to feel you haven't been honest with them either. I would say a month after dating someone is a good time. 1
PogoStick Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 (edited) TL;DR version - Is online dating a recommended way for people with Aspergers to date or should I be introducing myself to women I like anywhere and everywhere to build confidence? What are the subtle hints or suggestive flirty language that could be a sign she likes you? And when would be the right time to tell her about my diagnosis? I don't want to say the wrong time and blow it. Thanks! 1. You should engage in as much social activity as possible. Meetup groups, any kind of social groups would be ideal. 2. Subtle hints = the girl talks to you. the girl agrees to meet you one on one. any time a girl takes a step forward towards a relationship is a subtle clue. Of course, there are exceptions, so experience is your friend here. 3. You can tell your diagnosis to friends who you have no romantic interest. Serious girls that you like, you should wait until the 3rd date to tell them about Aspergers. Edited July 7, 2016 by PogoStick
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