Suddenly miss my ex a lot after six weeks of NC, should I contact her to talk?

[Theory]

So first, the details about the relationship and breakup:

 

- We had been together just under a year

- The last few months were stressful and we fought a lot. Sometimes they were resolved quickly, sometimes they really escalated. Twice she just left and went home.

- We tried counseling a few times, but then we broke up. I don't know if it was helping, she didn't think it was.

- In the beginning of the relationship I was kind of critical of her, and would get angry, but I went to therapy for it. Towards the end of the relationship, she was critical of me a lot.

- I felt like I couldn't do anything right, and she never really apologized for anything she did, but would point out the things I did wrong.

- There was a lot of back and forth from her: she would want a break then change her mind, or want to see each other less while we worked on issues then change her mind, etc. It felt like she was trying to control me.

- Finally we didn't speak for a week, and the talked on the phone as agreed upon. Ultimately I decided to end it.

- She started crying and apologized, and said that she had let anger from past relationships affect the way she was with me. We both ended the phone call by saying "I Still Love You".

 

 

This was six weeks ago. I recently got on Tinder to try to soothe the pain, but the dates I went on just reminded me of her. The other day I came across her on Tinder also. She has recently deleted all of the pictures of us on Facebook too. I don't know if it's because she's totally moved on, or if it's because they were hard to look at, or both. Maybe she's doing the same thing as me.

 

Now things weren't all bad. She helped me a lot with my career and was pretty supportive, and I've never really clicked with anyone personality wise like I did with her.

 

We haven't spoken since the breakup, at all. I was doing ok, until the last few days. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks and all I can think about is her. It keeps me awake at night. I've seriously been contemplating trying to contact her.

 

I don't know if this is me missing the relationship, or actual love that I still have for her. What do you think? Should I contact her to see how she feels and tell her what I feel?

 

Or should I give NC more time? I'm really heartbroken and have mixed feelings at the moment.

 

She has a birthday coming up too.

Edited July 6, 2016 by Theory

[Giggles666]

Who initiated no contact? Are you willing to go back down the rabbit hole? Also being able to see her Facebook activity and looking at her Tinder is not really helping you or no contact. You're bringing back emotions by doing this.

 

If it was me, I would move on...seems to me you are being reminded by what you see online.

[Theory]

Who initiated no contact? Are you willing to go back down the rabbit hole? Also being able to see her Facebook activity and looking at her Tinder is not really helping you or no contact. You're bringing back emotions by doing this.

 

If it was me, I would move on...seems to me you are being reminded by what you see online.

 

After the breakup phone call neither one of us contacted the other, and haven't to this day. Six weeks now. So I guess we both initiated it.

 

Her popping up on Tinder was unexpected, but I didn't have any control over it. Checking her facebook was my fault, I slipped up and looked at it. And you're right, a lot of emotions are coming back and I don't know what to do.

[Theory]

An update: I texted her about a joke we used to share and got no response. I guess she might be done.

 

This sucks but maybe it's for the best

[Giggles666]

Hey sometimes it happens, you break no contact and have to relive some of the emotions. Least you know now, and even though it stings you can begin to move on.

[Heart..PLS STAHP]

Her popping up on Tinder was unexpected, but I didn't have any control over it. Checking her facebook was my fault, I slipped up and looked at it. And you're right, a lot of emotions are coming back and I don't know what to do.

 

Oh absolutely. Facebook can wreck you up bad. I recently unblocked my ex and even though we are not friends I checked her profile pic. I cried so hard I couldn't control myself for days. It really brings emotions on the surface but I haven't checked her FB profile since and I am starting to cry less when I think about it. I would say to just leave it be and see how it unfolds if she contacts you without you initiating the contact. Deleting pics, etc. can mean she wants to move on or just can't bear at looking at them yes but sounds like she is trying to forget. I always thought FB is absolutely useless tool to keep relationship going and no matter what pictures are left there if you are meant for each other an internet program can't keep you apart. Just let it go and see how it unfolds but don't try to contact more. You made the joke that was your decision stick by it but don't try again. Let her be.