sin miedo Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's weird but I've noticed that my gf loves talking about how promiscuous her female roommate and best friend is. I'm a psychologist by profession and this is starting to worry me because I feel like she may be compensating for doing something similar. It could also be that she's saying these things to dissuade me from being interested in her roommate, though I've made it clear to her I prefer not to date women who sleep around. Note that this isn't a recent thing - she's been reinforcing it in my mind over the past year of dating. There was also a time before my gf and I were officially dating when I hung out with her roommate, she freaked out and was convinced we hooked up (we didn't). The whole thing is kind of bothering me because IMO a girl talking about the promiscuity another girl is akin to a guy giving another guy **** for being a virgin, both of which are immature and frankly no one's business. Anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts or interpretations on this behavior.
kendahke Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 When she does this, have you ever stopped her and asked her why she keeps doing this when you've already told her that you're not interested in what her roommate is doing? Does the roommate know your girlfriend is putting her business in the street? I'd bet that you're not the only person with whom she's having these conversations.
Redhead14 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's weird but I've noticed that my gf loves talking about how promiscuous her female roommate and best friend is. I'm a psychologist by profession and this is starting to worry me because I feel like she may be compensating for doing something similar. It could also be that she's saying these things to dissuade me from being interested in her roommate, though I've made it clear to her I prefer not to date women who sleep around. Note that this isn't a recent thing - she's been reinforcing it in my mind over the past year of dating. There was also a time before my gf and I were officially dating when I hung out with her roommate, she freaked out and was convinced we hooked up (we didn't). The whole thing is kind of bothering me because IMO a girl talking about the promiscuity another girl is akin to a guy giving another guy **** for being a virgin, both of which are immature and frankly no one's business. Anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts or interpretations on this behavior. Sin Miedo, given your profession, I think you know very well how to ferret out why she's so focused on the roommate's behavior. Ask her plain and simple. "Why is it that you talk so much about X and her promiscuity?". I'm sure you know that sometimes people will fixate on and talk about another person's behavior often. They are often trying to see what kind of reaction they get from the other person they are talking to. In other words, if you are critical of that behavior and your gf person has done something similar, she may keep it to herself. If you are non-judgemental about the roommate and your gf has previously been promiscuous, she may reveal that to you. She's, perhaps, testing the waters to see if it's "safe" for her to reveal something. 2
katiegrl Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 You're the *psychologist* sin miedo, shouldn't you be telling us why she's doing this? I agree with RH.... who by the way is also a psychologist.
Emilia Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 She is just a gossip. The majority of women do this, annoyingly enough. 3
jen1447 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Yeah, I wouldn't be too impressed that she goes around trashing her BFF.
xxoo Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Maybe you're projecting and making this about you. Maybe she just finds her roommate's behavior a bit shocking and possibly entertaining and is talking to you about it because you are who she talks to about stuff. People do enjoy talking about people.
Redhead14 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 You're the *psychologist* sin miedo, shouldn't you be telling us why she's doing this? I agree with RH.... who by the way is also a psychologist. In all fairness to the OP, however, psychologists are human and sometimes when they are too close to something, it's hard to see the forest for the trees so to speak Not only that, there's fine line between having a relationship with someone and being their therapist/analyst. People don't like to be analyzed. So, he's probably kinda on the fence about how to approach it. But, I think a simple question to start with will cause no harm. 2
katiegrl Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 (edited) It's weird but I've noticed that my gf loves talking about how promiscuous her female roommate and best friend is. I'm a psychologist by profession and this is starting to worry me because I feel like she may be compensating for doing something similar. It could also be that she's saying these things to dissuade me from being interested in her roommate, though I've made it clear to her I prefer not to date women who sleep around. Note that this isn't a recent thing - she's been reinforcing it in my mind over the past year of dating. There was also a time before my gf and I were officially dating when I hung out with her roommate, she freaked out and was convinced we hooked up (we didn't). The whole thing is kind of bothering me because IMO a girl talking about the promiscuity another girl is akin to a guy giving another guy **** for being a virgin, both of which are immature and frankly no one's business. Anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts or interpretations on this behavior. Call me crazy but I think it bothers you cuz you are finding yourself becoming intrigued by all of this and, as such, developing a thing for her roommate...... Or at the very least, wanting a piece of the pie. Or thinking about it? Edited July 6, 2016 by katiegrl 1
Author sin miedo Posted July 6, 2016 Author Posted July 6, 2016 Call me crazy but I think it bothers you cuz you are finding yourself becoming intrigued by all of this and, as such, developing a thing for her roommate...... Or at the very least, wanting a piece of the pie. Or thinking about it? Not really. The roommate is physically attractive to be sure, but is an emotional trainwreck laden with self-esteem issues. Her proclivity to having ONS in lieu of a committed relationship seems to be derived from a previous relationship in which she got pregnant and the boyfriend left her. I feel bad for her more than anything.
MadJackBird Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's weird but I've noticed that my gf loves talking about how promiscuous her female roommate and best friend is. I'm a psychologist by profession and this is starting to worry me because I feel like she may be compensating for doing something similar. It could also be that she's saying these things to dissuade me from being interested in her roommate, though I've made it clear to her I prefer not to date women who sleep around. Note that this isn't a recent thing - she's been reinforcing it in my mind over the past year of dating. There was also a time before my gf and I were officially dating when I hung out with her roommate, she freaked out and was convinced we hooked up (we didn't). The whole thing is kind of bothering me because IMO a girl talking about the promiscuity another girl is akin to a guy giving another guy **** for being a virgin, both of which are immature and frankly no one's business. Anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts or interpretations on this behavior. Interesting theory. My former wife was a drug addict and serial cheater. She also used to gossip about her co-workers that got busted for stealing pain pills. (She was doing itself all the time) or sleeping around. You may be onto something. Looking back it is interesting to see that my former wife was projecting a lot of her problems.
Toodaloo Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Not really. The roommate is physically attractive to be sure, but is an emotional trainwreck laden with self-esteem issues. Her proclivity to having ONS in lieu of a committed relationship seems to be derived from a previous relationship in which she got pregnant and the boyfriend left her. I feel bad for her more than anything. Which is why your girl friend wants to keep you and doesn't want you to "rescue" her room mate... 1
katiegrl Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Which is why your girl friend wants to keep you and doesn't want you to "rescue" her room mate... Agree. There is more to this than OP simply feeling *bad* for her.
Toodaloo Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 sin miedo We women are fully aware that men feel good about themselves when they feel useful and macho and protective... Its why we ask you to open jam jars... We are not worried about the size of your pecs we are worried about the size of your ego and we like you to feel good about yourself... It would be all too easy for you to "help" the room mate and accidentally trip and slip your penis into her virgina... I have seen it happen before and your girl is just reminding you that if your penis does go in there it is likely to come back with something growing on it to put you off and remind you that actually... it really probably would.
MissBee Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's weird but I've noticed that my gf loves talking about how promiscuous her female roommate and best friend is. I'm a psychologist by profession and this is starting to worry me because I feel like she may be compensating for doing something similar. It could also be that she's saying these things to dissuade me from being interested in her roommate, though I've made it clear to her I prefer not to date women who sleep around. Note that this isn't a recent thing - she's been reinforcing it in my mind over the past year of dating. There was also a time before my gf and I were officially dating when I hung out with her roommate, she freaked out and was convinced we hooked up (we didn't). The whole thing is kind of bothering me because IMO a girl talking about the promiscuity another girl is akin to a guy giving another guy **** for being a virgin, both of which are immature and frankly no one's business. Anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts or interpretations on this behavior. If you're a psychologist, I think you have all the tools necessary to evaluate it for yourself. Have you asked your gf why she's so concerned about her roommate and friend's sex life? Try asking her. Or saying they did what they did, it's their business, but you'd prefer not to spend time talking about their sex lives....see if she stops after. Point is: what's a relationship without honest communication? Why speculate and ask us to speculate? Simply ask her if she feels insecure or ask why she keeps bringing it up...that will be a more revealing conversation.
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