He has invited me over to his place for our fourth date

[introverted1]

He said the last time they had sex was early this year. So if he is telling the truth then the ex gf must be with their newborn right now.

 

My bf doesn't even know if the ex is infact pregnant or not. He's been trying to get answers from her but she wouldn't get in contact with him. Out of the blue, she contacted me and said that she is pregnant and told me to back off.

 

My bf said the last time they met was when he broke up with her (a couple of months ago) and that she's obsessive. I don't know who to believe.

 

He was with her for roughly 5 months, slept with her once and her family is not in the country.

 

Let me put this together.

 

They had sex just once, some time in January.

 

They broke up a "couple of months" ago, so maybe July.

 

But they were only together 5 months (according to your bf) and had sex just once in all that time, at the beginning of their relationship. And then they stayed together but never had sex again.

 

Does he have a bridge to sell you, too?

 

Sorry, OP, but this just doesn't add up.

[Gaeta]

I can't find anywhere boyfriend broke up with ex 2 months ago. OP and her boyfriend started dating 3 months ago.

 

OP when did your boyfriend and her break up?

[rester]

My bf doesn't even know if the ex is infact pregnant or not. He's been trying to get answers from her but she wouldn't get in contact with him. Out of the blue, she contacted me and said that she is pregnant and told me to back off.

 

My bf said the last time they met was when he broke up with her (a couple of months ago) and that she's obsessive. I don't know who to believe.

 

She said they broke up "a couple of months ago". So OP was dating this guy while they were still together for about a month? The timeline here is very confusing. Either her boyfriend is keeping things quiet or it's not being explained to us very clearly.

[Gaeta]

She said they broke up "a couple of months ago". So OP was dating this guy while they were still together for about a month? The timeline here is very confusing. Either her boyfriend is keeping things quiet or it's not being explained to us very clearly.

 

Thank you rester.

 

SO, they had sex last time January-February 2016. They broke up 2 months ago so she was pregnant like 7 months by then.......but he insists he is not sure she is pregnant?

[Gaeta]

And that means they had sex in January then dated for 5 months up to July but never had sex again for those 5 months.

 

What in the world....

[elaine567]

And that means they had sex in January then dated for 5 months up to July but never had sex again for those 5 months.

 

What in the world....

 

LDR?? maybe.

[Gaeta]

LDR?? maybe.

 

OP is reveling details one drop at a time.

[anna121]

I agree - this is maddening.

 

Pink Glitter, why did you say he broke up with her "a couple of months ago"? Did you misspeak?

 

Please clarify when was the last time he saw her. I mean, if by your calculations she is due or just delivered, we're talking many months where she would be visibly pregnant!

 

And, just for additional clarity, you are saying that he claims that he had sex with her ONCE in five months?

[Pink_Glitter]

Apologies for the confusion.

 

The last time we spoke, my bf said they broke up a couple of months ago but I was on the phone with him earlier and he said he stopped talking to her since Feb. He doesn't know if she's still in Florida (our current place) or not. He also confirmed that they only had sex once in the 5 months they were together.

[anna121]

Apologies for the confusion.

 

The last time we spoke, my bf said they broke up a couple of months ago but I was on the phone with him earlier and he said he stopped talking to her since Feb. He doesn't know if she's still in Florida (our current place) or not. He also confirmed that they only had sex once in the 5 months they were together.

 

I'm sorry but this is still confusing.

 

Is the "last time we spoke" BEFORE the "I was on the phone with him earlier"?? Please explain exactly when he told you that "they broke up a couple of months ago". Was it yesterday? This week? This month?

 

Because if I recall correctly, you have been dating for MORE than "a couple of months". Isn't that correct? Did he mean that he hasn't spoken to this woman since February, but neglected to break up with until "a couple of months ago"?

 

At the very least, your BF's explanations are all over the map and an enormous red flag on that basis alone. Never mind the crazy stalker "maybe-she's-pregnant-but-who-knows?" ex.

[Gaeta]

Apologies for the confusion.

 

The last time we spoke, my bf said they broke up a couple of months ago but I was on the phone with him earlier and he said he stopped talking to her since Feb. He doesn't know if she's still in Florida (our current place) or not. He also confirmed that they only had sex once in the 5 months they were together.

 

Understanding mistake. He said he saw her last a couple of months ago but he meant 7 months ago...Right!

[elaine567]

Apologies for the confusion.

 

The last time we spoke, my bf said they broke up a couple of months ago but I was on the phone with him earlier and he said he stopped talking to her since Feb. He doesn't know if she's still in Florida (our current place) or not. He also confirmed that they only had sex once in the 5 months they were together.

OK, so he has now changed his story. He was not with her a couple of months ago as that would mean the two of you overlapped, but he now says he split up in February.

I guess the conversation with the ex was not exactly cordial so difficult to ask anything.

Do you have her number/email, so you could get in touch again and ask her to clarify what she meant by "they are back together"?

[Pink_Glitter]

We started dating in June and his ex contacted me 2 weeks ago.

 

He said :

They were together for 5 months.

During those 5 months, they had sex once.

The last time they had sex was in Jan and they broke up in Feb.

He didn't know about her pregnancy at all until recently he remembered what she said when they broke up.

[Gaeta]

The last time we spoke, my bf said they broke up a couple of months ago but I was on the phone with him earlier and he said he stopped talking to her since Feb.

 

How could he have stopped talking to her in Feb but break up a couple of months ago?

 

 

He doesn't know if she's still in Florida (our current place) or not. He also confirmed that they only had sex once in the 5 months they were together.

 

So this was not a long distance relationship, why they only had sex once? Aren't you curious? Why don't you ask these questions?

[Gaeta]

We started dating in June and his ex contacted me 2 weeks ago.

 

He said :

They were together for 5 months.

During those 5 months, they had sex once.

The last time they had sex was in Jan and they broke up in Feb.

He didn't know about her pregnancy at all until recently he remembered what she said when they broke up.

 

What is this whole breaking up 2 months ago then?

[Gaeta]

.

He didn't know about her pregnancy at all until recently he remembered what she said when they broke up.

 

He learn about it because the ex called you or she had already contacted him before you?

[TheJapartisan]

She randomly tells you she's pregnant, but he says that the last time they banged was 9 months ago? As somebody else said earlier, who waits three trimesters to reveal they're pregnant? The only way her message would make sense is if the two of them had banged more recently than what he's told you. Personally, I'd ask to see any text conversations between them and look for if they've talked recently. Honestly though, I'm getting a typical-crazy-ex vibe from this and there's a strong possibility she's just saying bull**** to try to break the two of you up, especially if she refused to take a pregnancy test before as you said.

 

Also, how did she contact you? Through Facebook?

[dreamingoftigers]

He said only once did they have sex and he never finished inside her. When he broke up with her, she said she could be pregnant but she refused to do a pregnancy test. So he's been paranoid until last week when he remembered that it'd been 9 months.

 

How true is this?

 

this sounds ridiculously convoluted.....

[dreamingoftigers]

Ugh. I tend to lean toward the woman telling the truth. or at least some facsimile of it.

 

like why contact OP to say they are together when apparently the OP's bf cant even contact her back?

 

this makes zero sense.

 

plus, if you believe the bf, and he turns out to be lying, you are at significant risk (STDs, hes a cheater/liar/user etc)

 

if you believe the (ex?) gf, and drop the bf, (but she turns out to be lying) then you lose a potentially decent bf..... but you are still personally safe AND you lose the wackiness from this equation.

 

just before my father's infidelity was exposed, an ex-friend of the OW told my mother and she didn't believe her. my father minimized it and they laughed it off. when I heard of it, I doubted my father right away. IME, people generally tend not to make that sht up.

[Gaeta]

just before my father's infidelity was exposed, an ex-friend of the OW told my mother and she didn't believe her. my father minimized it and they laughed it off. when I heard of it, I doubted my father right away. IME, people generally tend not to make that sht up.

 

And if they are back together why they don't live together now that she is pregnant up to her ears.

[dreamingoftigers]

And if they are back together why they don't live together now that she is pregnant up to her ears.

 

many people don't live together despite the circs.

[No_Go]

OP don't get offended but to me it sounds like your grad student BF and his female buddy are playing a prank on you. The story is just absurd.

 

Did you ever have sex with him? I remember the initial posts and his behavior is a typical one for a virgin or near-virgin.

 

I'd not lose sleep on something that's most likely a cruel joke.

[Pink_Glitter]

Thank you for all your input guys. I've called it off with him. I have given him chances to explain to me but I felt like he was being more defensive than actually checking to see if I was ok or not. He was more worried about the pregnancy than our current relationship.

 

I want to believe him but my guts tell me that he's not telling me the full story. I don't want to be involved in this mess anymore. We never had sex because emotionally we're not there yet.

 

Why is it so hard to be in a normal loving relationship? Lol guess I should just work on myself now.

 

Thanks again everyone.

[anna121]

I think you're doing the right thing.

 

There are lots of nice, normal guys out there. I promise.

[elaine567]

Thank you for all your input guys. I've called it off with him. I have given him chances to explain to me but I felt like he was being more defensive than actually checking to see if I was ok or not. He was more worried about the pregnancy than our current relationship.

 

I want to believe him but my guts tell me that he's not telling me the full story. I don't want to be involved in this mess anymore. We never had sex because emotionally we're not there yet.

 

 

 

You did the right thing, I think all our guts were screaming here...

You do not want to get any more involved with a guy with a pregnant ex-gf anyway.

It was a mess and a disaster waiting to happen.

Onward and upward.