Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I dated a guy for a couple of months back in February. A few months later he told me that he met someone else and not to have anymore contact. Ouch. then out of the blue today, HE messaged ME. He said " Hey how are you doing? I was wondering if we could meet up and have a coffee. I hope things are okay with you" So strange. I definitely don't wan't to go down that rabbit hole again and sort of answer his beck and call. i felt a bit hard done by when he text me coldly that he had met someone else all those months ago. It seems a bit high-school and I'm thinking he probably just broken up with his girlfriend and he's looking through his phone, thinking " who can I text... to fill this void" Yeah seems ridiculous, but has anyone had this happen to them? My gut response is to not text back.
CryForNoOne Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Sounds like he just wants you to fill the void until someone better comes along again. Would you be fine doing the same to him? If you're not wired that way, then DEFINITELY ignore him.
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted July 6, 2016 Author Posted July 6, 2016 Sounds like he just wants you to fill the void until someone better comes along again. Would you be fine doing the same to him? If you're not wired that way, then DEFINITELY ignore him. No I think I'd be too full of pride to text an old boyfriend " too see what he's up to and what his plans are this weekend". I don't care if I thought he was beneath me, above me or on the same level. I would know that my actions would appear too random and desperate and I would care too much of looking like a complete idiot, especially if I was the one that said " do not contact me again". When I got the " do not contact me again" I took that as gospel truth, strange how he didn't keep to his word. If you want closure by having no contact, why contact the person to which you've asked them to not have any contact with you? Seems pointless. He's new to this city. He probably thought he could have free sex with someone who he once had it with, and it put very little into the relationship itself. 1
frus69 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Oh you have to reply Say "I'm good thanks, but sorry can't meet up cuz my BF will not be happy "
CryForNoOne Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 You know I missed the part where he said "no contact." What a douche. Definitely no. Why are you even asking??? 1
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted July 6, 2016 Author Posted July 6, 2016 You know I missed the part where he said "no contact." What a douche. Definitely no. Why are you even asking??? Just wondering if it's ever happened to anyone else. It just seems so random.
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted July 6, 2016 Author Posted July 6, 2016 Oh you have to reply Say "I'm good thanks, but sorry can't meet up cuz my BF will not be happy " I definitely have thought of doing that!
frus69 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Just wondering if it's ever happened to anyone else. It just seems so random. It happened few times for me yeah. It's pretty common actually. nothing but random. Guys, come back all the time. Most of the time with not-so-genuine intentions 1
Zahara Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's happened to me. They're just going through their list of back burner girls.
OnlyHonesty Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's best not to reply at all. Ive had something similar happen come to think of it. Ignore, block, delete. Even if you reply with the mention of a bf, it's still bringing drama and potential unrest into your life, don't do it! 1
BrownEyedGurl1 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Just wondering if it's ever happened to anyone else. It just seems so random. I'm 28 and this has happened to me about 5 times with guys in the past. He broke up with the girl he was seeing and ghosted on you for, now needs someone to fill the void. Don't respond. 1
Gaeta Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I did this to a man once and I was 100% genuine. Let me explain. I was doing online dating and had more than 1 prospect. Jim was a sweetheart but he was a little slow to escalate the relationship and dude number 2 was more aggressive in his pursuit so result he asked me to be exclusive quite early. So between Jim who was still dancing on 1 leg and dude-2 who offered me exclusivity I picked dude 2. I told Jim I had been seeing someone else and was going to pursue with him. There was absolutely nothing wrong in my part, I was not exclusive to Jim. It was dating till someone locks me down. When I am in an exclusive relationship I do not text other men. It's inappropriate. This man you dated 2 months back in Feb had the same respect for his new GF. No chatting other women. Isn't it the kind of man you'd want in your life? I would. Anyway it didn't work with dude #2 and always regretted I didn't pick Jim instead. One year later I came across Jim and messaged him I felt I had not given us a fair chance. We spoke about the hardship of dating, uncertainties, etc. We started seeing each other and we dated for a few months. Never ever did I contact him to fill a void. I genuinely felt I had miss the boat with him. Go have a coffee with him and listen to what he has to say.
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted July 7, 2016 Author Posted July 7, 2016 I did this to a man once and I was 100% genuine. Let me explain. I was doing online dating and had more than 1 prospect. Jim was a sweetheart but he was a little slow to escalate the relationship and dude number 2 was more aggressive in his pursuit so result he asked me to be exclusive quite early. So between Jim who was still dancing on 1 leg and dude-2 who offered me exclusivity I picked dude 2. I told Jim I had been seeing someone else and was going to pursue with him. There was absolutely nothing wrong in my part, I was not exclusive to Jim. It was dating till someone locks me down. When I am in an exclusive relationship I do not text other men. It's inappropriate. This man you dated 2 months back in Feb had the same respect for his new GF. No chatting other women. Isn't it the kind of man you'd want in your life? I would. Anyway it didn't work with dude #2 and always regretted I didn't pick Jim instead. One year later I came across Jim and messaged him I felt I had not given us a fair chance. We spoke about the hardship of dating, uncertainties, etc. We started seeing each other and we dated for a few months. Never ever did I contact him to fill a void. I genuinely felt I had miss the boat with him. Go have a coffee with him and listen to what he has to say. I am a little bit mad with him. He treated me very harshly or so I felt. Mind you, you're the only person whose offered me advice that's a bit different. I don't want to be a back burner girl.
Cinnamonstix Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 I did this to a man once and I was 100% genuine. Let me explain. I was doing online dating and had more than 1 prospect. Jim was a sweetheart but he was a little slow to escalate the relationship and dude number 2 was more aggressive in his pursuit so result he asked me to be exclusive quite early. So between Jim who was still dancing on 1 leg and dude-2 who offered me exclusivity I picked dude 2. I told Jim I had been seeing someone else and was going to pursue with him. There was absolutely nothing wrong in my part, I was not exclusive to Jim. It was dating till someone locks me down. When I am in an exclusive relationship I do not text other men. It's inappropriate. This man you dated 2 months back in Feb had the same respect for his new GF. No chatting other women. Isn't it the kind of man you'd want in your life? I would. Anyway it didn't work with dude #2 and always regretted I didn't pick Jim instead. One year later I came across Jim and messaged him I felt I had not given us a fair chance. We spoke about the hardship of dating, uncertainties, etc. We started seeing each other and we dated for a few months. Never ever did I contact him to fill a void. I genuinely felt I had miss the boat with him. Go have a coffee with him and listen to what he has to say. The situations aren't the same. This guy found something he thought was better after two months of dating OP. It'd be different if OP was all wishy washy about him and so he went with someone else. OP, forget about him. Men know early on if they really want you.
frus69 Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 I did this to a man once and I was 100% genuine. Let me explain. I was doing online dating and had more than 1 prospect. Jim was a sweetheart but he was a little slow to escalate the relationship and dude number 2 was more aggressive in his pursuit so result he asked me to be exclusive quite early. So between Jim who was still dancing on 1 leg and dude-2 who offered me exclusivity I picked dude 2. I told Jim I had been seeing someone else and was going to pursue with him. There was absolutely nothing wrong in my part, I was not exclusive to Jim. It was dating till someone locks me down. When I am in an exclusive relationship I do not text other men. It's inappropriate. This man you dated 2 months back in Feb had the same respect for his new GF. No chatting other women. Isn't it the kind of man you'd want in your life? I would. Anyway it didn't work with dude #2 and always regretted I didn't pick Jim instead. One year later I came across Jim and messaged him I felt I had not given us a fair chance. We spoke about the hardship of dating, uncertainties, etc. We started seeing each other and we dated for a few months. Never ever did I contact him to fill a void. I genuinely felt I had miss the boat with him. Go have a coffee with him and listen to what he has to say. You contacted Jim a year later, this guy contacted OP soon as he broke up. (or has he broken up yet?) Two different situations here.
Cinnamonstix Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 Oh, and to add, I wouldn't even reply. And if you must, just say you're not interested. Responding by insinuating the only reason you won't see him is because you have a bf is bad for two reasons: 1) it's a lie and 2) it sounds like you would see him otherwise. So even if you had a bf, I would never say that!
Author Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted July 7, 2016 Author Posted July 7, 2016 it must get lonely for a new single in a new city. I don't feel sorry for him. There's plenty of prostitutes available. lol. I won't reply to his desperate attempts.
VeveCakes Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 A lot of people do this....go through their contacts once single... or message you when they hear you are single. So lame.
Zippy2000 Posted July 7, 2016 Posted July 7, 2016 I would respect his wishes all those months ago and never contact him again. Let him wonder what happened to you and let his thoughts play in his mind forever.
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