Myzster Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 So i been dating my girlfriend known her since December and been exclusive Since March. Everything is great she initiates contact(80-90 percent of the time) pays for dinner all that. There have been several instances where she has ignored me for no reason out the blue how i know this is i see her active on facebook when i'm talking to family members or just browsing, Idk why she does it my guess she does out of validation or try to get me to react idk but it's really turns me off when she does this. I have confronted her about this and she makes some excuse i just forget about it. The Issue So we spent 4th of July with our families. So for some reason she does this again which is no problem i'm busy having fun so let her have her fun so i get to my first cousin house around 10:30 still no response. So i text her and she responds like 5 mins later saying she just walk in the door. I just basically told her hit me up when she really wants to talk and told her goodnight Here's the convo Her: My messages didn't send, I was trying to answer. You know i'm with family this weekend. don't be like that. Goodnight i guess Me:If you think i'm mad or upset or anything like that i'm not. I understand that you are with family same for me. If the messages are not sending that's not my problem those are your issues on that you need to fix on your end if you know it's gonna cause problems. I just didn't think you wanted to talk that's all. Her: Wow...Sure sounds like your being real understanding. I just got settled if you even care. But i don't want to talk to you if you're gonna be like this expecially about this messages. So we talked a little thought we worked out everything so i thought. Fastfoward today Her: I missed you, but i'm still not happy about with you Me: wait what? It's been nearly 24hrs since that happened. why are you still upset Her: you have yet to Apologize Me: So i hurt your feelings?Why do i need to apologize Her: It was extremely rude. I did not appreciate it. I haven't yet responded i need some advice on this on what to do. Do you think i was being rude to her? or is she being extremely petty,childish or immature 1
VeveCakes Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 You're fighting over not texting enough, ironically wasting the time you are both fighting over not getting enough of? Lay off the texting. Call each other. Try not to freak of you don't hear from someone 24/7. That's not healthy. You both need to chill. 2
Gaeta Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I just basically told her hit me up when she really wants to talk and told her goodnight Here's the convo Her: My messages didn't send, I was trying to answer. You know i'm with family this weekend. don't be like that. Goodnight i guess You started this whole thing. You were passive-agressive with her and that put her on the defensive, she felt she had to explain herself to you. You could have stopped it right there but YOU chose to put fuel on the fire and continued. If the messages are not sending that's not my problem those are your issues on that you need to fix on your end if you know it's gonna cause problems. I just didn't think you wanted to talk that's all. If my BF told me something similar to this he'd be sleeping in the dog house for an indefinite amount of time. This is rude, accusatory and manipulative. Her: Wow...Sure sounds like your being real understanding. I just got settled if you even care. But i don't want to talk to you if you're gonna be like this expecially about this messages. What else did you want her to answer, she was actually nice to you, I would have told you to get lost. Yes you need to apologize and you need to change your attitude. 9
basil67 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Me:If you think i'm mad or upset or anything like that i'm not. I understand that you are with family same for me. If the messages are not sending that's not my problem those are your issues on that you need to fix on your end if you know it's gonna cause problems. I just didn't think you wanted to talk that's all. Oh my goodness. I can't believe you spoke to someone you care about like this. You have some major apologising to do 8
Satu Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 snip If the messages are not sending that's not my problem those are your issues on that you need to fix on your end if you know it's gonna cause problems. I just didn't think you wanted to talk that's all. I haven't yet responded i need some advice on this on what to do. Do you think i was being rude to her? or is she being extremely petty,childish or immature Yes, you were rude and you should apologise. 2
Deidre Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 So she initiates contact 80-90% of the time? Maybe she's over it, and you sound like you expect more? lol 4
Poppyolive Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 (edited) First up try communicating face to face, or at the very least over the phone. Text arguing is ridiculous. Secondly, if I was dating someone like you and they did this I'd be second guessing Where we were headed. You come across very rude and passive aggressive. Both ingredients set for relationship melt down. "Those are your issues" "why should I say sorry".. whoa.... you have a lot to learn. Do you speak to others like this? So feisty / passive aggressive? Do you feel you did anything wrong here? All I see is you're upset she's not responding quick enough via text. How about phrasing like "I feel hurt/worried/upset........ when I don't hear from you right away" instead of blaming her. Your feelings and insecurities are yours and should not be projected onto her. Work through your anger. Then communicate with her. Also, what did you say in the first text to her? That seems to be missing Edited July 6, 2016 by Poppyolive 3
BrownEyedGurl1 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 So i been dating my girlfriend known her since December and been exclusive Since March. Everything is great she initiates contact(80-90 percent of the time) pays for dinner all that. There have been several instances where she has ignored me for no reason out the blue how i know this is i see her active on facebook when i'm talking to family members or just browsing, Idk why she does it my guess she does out of validation or try to get me to react idk but it's really turns me off when she does this. I have confronted her about this and she makes some excuse i just forget about it. The Issue So we spent 4th of July with our families. So for some reason she does this again which is no problem i'm busy having fun so let her have her fun so i get to my first cousin house around 10:30 still no response. So i text her and she responds like 5 mins later saying she just walk in the door. I just basically told her hit me up when she really wants to talk and told her goodnight Here's the convo Her: My messages didn't send, I was trying to answer. You know i'm with family this weekend. don't be like that. Goodnight i guess Me:If you think i'm mad or upset or anything like that i'm not. I understand that you are with family same for me. If the messages are not sending that's not my problem those are your issues on that you need to fix on your end if you know it's gonna cause problems. I just didn't think you wanted to talk that's all. Her: Wow...Sure sounds like your being real understanding. I just got settled if you even care. But i don't want to talk to you if you're gonna be like this expecially about this messages. So we talked a little thought we worked out everything so i thought. Fastfoward today Her: I missed you, but i'm still not happy about with you Me: wait what? It's been nearly 24hrs since that happened. why are you still upset Her: you have yet to Apologize Me: So i hurt your feelings?Why do i need to apologize Her: It was extremely rude. I did not appreciate it. I haven't yet responded i need some advice on this on what to do. Do you think i was being rude to her? or is she being extremely petty,childish or immature Seriously? Between this and your convo, don't expect her to want you much longer. 3
Lady2163 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 How hard would it have been to text: Those are issues with your phone that are causing problems between us. Can you get them fixed? There's always a danger in applying tone to text and APPLYING the wrong tone. Plus the shorthand can cause the wrong thought to be expressed. But yeah....you're and azz if you ever ask, "why should I apologize?" if you already know you've hurt someone's feelings. You need to grow up a whole lot. Are you still in high school?
bachdude Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I agree with your girlfriend. You were rude. Also, learn to let your girlfriend have her space. And if she doesn't respond fast enough on text, especially during a holiday with her family, be cool about it. It is you, I'm afraid, who is coming off petty, and insecure too. 5
Versacehottie Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I agree with your girlfriend. You were rude. Also, learn to let your girlfriend have her space. And if she doesn't respond fast enough on text, especially during a holiday with her family, be cool about it. It is you, I'm afraid, who is coming off petty, and insecure too. This is EXACTLY to the word what I would say to OP's question. Damn, op, you panties really get in a wad over practically nothing. The way you spoke to her is not good at all. She's not out of line, you are. Your post here indicates you care at least. So apologize and realize in the general picture you need to work on your communication style and getting some realistic expectations in line. Good luck
bubbaganoosh Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Friend your in the wrong and you should tell her your sorry. Bet you a shiny red apple you wouldn't like it if she did the same to you. It's not hard but when or if you do, don't text. Call her so it sounds more sincere. 1
MzLady Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 OP: Me:If you think i'm mad or upset or anything like that i'm not. I understand that you are with family same for me. If the messages are not sending that's not my problem those are your issues on that you need to fix on your end if you know it's gonna cause problems. I just didn't think you wanted to talk that's all. Your response was way over the top and inconsiderate. Plus she does the majority of initial contact AND she's paying for the dates? Seriously, you need to re-evaluate your part in this relationship because it's lacking. 8
KatZee Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I understand that you are with family same for me. If the messages are not sending that's not my problem those are your issues on that you need to fix on your end if you know it's gonna cause problems. I just didn't think you wanted to talk that's all. Ballsy, rude, arrogant, and entitled. Messages not sending is not an "issue" that is hers to "fix on her end." Ever hear of poor cell reception? The way you even spoke to her is appalling. She puts in 90% more effort into the relationship than you do, and you can't even nut up and apologize when you're speaking to her like she's a piece of s.hit? I wouldn't be happy with you either. And you damn would have known that in a much clearer way than how she expressed it to you. 5
CarrieT Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I haven't yet responded i need some advice on this on what to do. Do you think i was being rude to her? or is she being extremely petty,childish or immature Yes, you are being rude. And YOU are being petty, childish, and immature. Get over yourself... 2
Els Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 So i been dating my girlfriend known her since December and been exclusive Since March. Everything is great she initiates contact(80-90 percent of the time) pays for dinner all that. There have been several instances where she has ignored me for no reason out the blue how i know this is i see her active on facebook when i'm talking to family members or just browsing, Idk why she does it my guess she does out of validation or try to get me to react idk but it's really turns me off when she does this. I have confronted her about this and she makes some excuse i just forget about it. You have got to be kidding me. She initiates contact 80-90% of the time and you're getting on her case for not initiating contact MORE?? Not sure what you did to deserve this woman, but fortunately it seems she is seeing the light now. 5
Deidre Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 OP: Me:If you think i'm mad or upset or anything like that i'm not. I understand that you are with family same for me. If the messages are not sending that's not my problem those are your issues on that you need to fix on your end if you know it's gonna cause problems. I just didn't think you wanted to talk that's all. Your response was way over the top and inconsiderate. Plus she does the majority of initial contact AND she's paying for the dates? Seriously, you need to re-evaluate your part in this relationship because it's lacking. Totally agree! But, in a way, she set up this dynamic where she is doing nearly everything and he's doing next to nothing, so it sets up an entitlement dynamic. She could her losses and dump this dude. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 OP, you need to lose the attitude and fast. You're on the way to losing your girlfriend if you don't.
Zahara Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 S Me:If you think i'm mad or upset or anything like that i'm not. I understand that you are with family same for me. If the messages are not sending that's not my problem those are your issues on that you need to fix on your end if you know it's gonna cause problems. I just didn't think you wanted to talk that's all. Yikes. Conversation would have ended right there. 2
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