tinkerbell16 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 At what age difference does it really affect how you would feel about taking something long term?
smackie9 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It really depends on expectations and the individual. Everyone is different. 3
smackie9 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 There are 20 something year old guys out there that have np wanting to be committed to a 30 or 40 something woman.
MissBee Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Some are into it and some are not. It depends on the person. There is no one size fits all here. 2
frus69 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 If it's 10+ years older, most guys I asked say they will date them but not marry them. But of course everyone is different
Gaeta Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I dated as up to 14 years younger. They already had children so everything else was not an issue for them, or me :-) It depends how old you are and where you are at in your life. Do you both want the same thing and are aiming at the same type of future. I know plenty of couples that the woman is 10+ years older, some of them up to 20 years older and everything is dandy as they want the same thing and no one is giving up on something to be with the other one.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Older woman dating younger men here. I can only speak to my experience but I will tell you that not only are they open to it but many of the young men I've dated/dating want and even point blank ask for a long term committed relationship. And that's including a 22 years old partner I had for a long while but kept him as a FWB. I'm usually the one who hesitates about thinking long term when I'm with younger men. I mean, I love that these guys see me like that but I'm nothing if not a realistic woman. I agree that things might be different if the age gap was 10 years max but since I tend to attract and date men 13-25 years younger, it's a bit harder to dream of a serious future together. But I'm enjoying what I have while I have it and am so grateful to have met so many incredible young men along the way
Popsicle Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 I had a BF 16 years younger once. He just wanted to have fun but I wasn't interested in having more babies and starting another family, and after a couple of years, he started thinking about that, so the R ended. (Because he wanted that). My BF now is 4 years younger and not interested in having babies so he's happy to go on forever with me. It's the ones who want kids that you need to worry about. It's all fun and games for them too in the beginning and they'll go along with you as long as they find you attractive, but when it comes time to have babies all bets are off. Just something to think about.
Larryville Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 What do guys really think of dating an older woman? At what age difference does it really affect how you would feel about taking something long term? I dated as up to 14 years younger. They already had children so everything else was not an issue for them, or me :-) It depends how old you are and where you are at in your life. Do you both want the same thing and are aiming at the same type of future. I know plenty of couples that the woman is 10+ years older, some of them up to 20 years older and everything is dandy as they want the same thing and no one is giving up on something to be with the other one. I'm usually the one who hesitates about thinking long term when I'm with younger men. I mean, I love that these guys see me like that but I'm nothing if not a realistic woman. I agree that things might be different if the age gap was 10 years max but since I tend to attract and date men 13-25 years younger, it's a bit harder to dream of a serious future together. For a time in my dating life I specifically sought older women because I believed that older meant: more mature, grounded, financially secure, no self-esteem issues ect. After a time I grew to know older does not necessarily translate into those traits. Maturity has nothing to do with age, I seek to be with someone who is mentally and emotionally stable, not mired in debt, career minded, physically active, and active in taking care of herself and not haunted by her past or lamenting in past mistakes and past relationship issues regardless of her age. I over the years have thrown out issues such as someone’s, age, race, religion and age as G said do you both seek the same things in life and are on the same page. If you date or seek relationship based on specific criteria you are selling yourself short and limiting your options. Bottom line can you find someone who just makes you happy. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 For a time in my dating life I specifically sought older women because I believed that older meant: more mature, grounded, financially secure, no self-esteem issues ect. After a time I grew to know older does not necessarily translate into those traits. Maturity has nothing to do with age, I seek to be with someone who is mentally and emotionally stable, not mired in debt, career minded, physically active, and active in taking care of herself and not haunted by her past or lamenting in past mistakes and past relationship issues regardless of her age. I over the years have thrown out issues such as someone’s, age, race, religion and age as G said do you both seek the same things in life and are on the same page. If you date or seek relationship based on specific criteria you are selling yourself short and limiting your options. Bottom line can you find someone who just makes you happy. Agreed and it goes both ways. I do NOT actively seek out younger men. Ever. They literally flock to me compared to men my own age. I don't understand it but there it is. And the men my age, at least the ones I've encountered over the last 7 years are so often overgrown babies with massive chips on their shoulders, boring and blank. No thank you. Yes, I often date younger but those men I choose to be with, even my 22 year old, had more than just their young looks and sex drive. They had more personality, ambition, depth, intelligence, kindness and self awareness than half the men I know or have dated my own age or older. How sad is that for my generation? Dating and falling in love and committing long term is about so many things rather than just one regardless of age. Anyone who dates inside a box is missing out on so much. 3
hippychick3 Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 I've been with my younger bf for almost 3 years now. He is 9 1/2 years younger than me and has no children. The age difference has no negative effects on our relationship other than him not being able to have children of his own (I am finished having babies). I made it clear to him a long time ago that I would let him go with love and understanding if he wanted to have children. He has chosen the relationship over children and has accepted that he won't have his own. There are times that I feel very guilty about this, but he has assured me that he is okay with not having children. He feels lucky to have me and has no desire to sacrifice a great relationship to pursue a "not so great" relationship in order to have children. I don't see that changing as our relationship is pretty solid and the best both of us have ever experienced. 1
No_Go Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 One of my good friends is in a relationship with a guy who is 28 years her junior. The remarkable part is that they are together for.. 23 years I think, so it was definitely not a transient interest. They even admit they raise eyebrows (she's in her 70s now and looks her age, whereas he's 40-something but looks MUCH younger, having a baby face and light blonde hair), but hey - they're happy with each other so who are people to judge...
NIGHT1985 Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 I've dated as young as 19 to as old as 42 in the past 4-5 years. Age is just a number and shouldn't be associated to a maturity level. 1
Dork Vader Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 It really depends on the person and a lot of other factors. When I was 21 I had a fling with a woman that was 22 years older then me. We met at a bar and it was fairly my intentions were not to settle down. I have dated women that were 8 years older then me and was very interested in long term relationships with them. Anything above about 5-8 years in age difference has created problems. we are often at different points in life. While we both might want a relationship, I wanted/want kids, marriage and things like that. That tends too be the biggest issue.
TheBathWater Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 It depends. I'm in my early-thirties. If it's a short-term thing, I would date up to the mid-forties, kids or no kids. Must be in great shape like me. If it's something with serious potential, I would date up to mid/late thirties range, no kids, and should be in great shape like me. Those are my preferences. In the past year alone, I've dated women ranging all the way from 23 years old to 46.
TheBathWater Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 I've dated as young as 19 to as old as 42 in the past 4-5 years. Age is just a number and shouldn't be associated to a maturity level. I once had a friend who said you're only as old as the women you feel
mizunomead Posted July 8, 2016 Posted July 8, 2016 Serious long term....I'm 35yrs old. I have a hard time seeing myself with someone over 45. Probably not over early 40's although i am open to it.
ManyDissapoint Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I won't date an older woman. Fwb at the most. I did when I was younger.
Author tinkerbell16 Posted July 9, 2016 Author Posted July 9, 2016 It depends. I'm in my early-thirties. If it's a short-term thing, I would date up to the mid-forties, kids or no kids. Must be in great shape like me. If it's something with serious potential, I would date up to mid/late thirties range, no kids, and should be in great shape like me. Those are my preferences. In the past year alone, I've dated women ranging all the way from 23 years old to 46. That's what I was curious about... at what age difference makes the consideration for long term a no go. I tend to attract younger men and I have not been considering them because I am looking for long term right now.
Jabron1 Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 That's what I was curious about... at what age difference makes the consideration for long term a no go. I tend to attract younger men and I have not been considering them because I am looking for long term right now. Personally not looking to get married or have kids, so I am fairly open minded about going out with older women. They seem to disqualify me as 'serious relationship material' a lot of the time anyway. I've dated as young as 19 to as old as 42 in the past 4-5 years. Age is just a number and shouldn't be associated to a maturity level. Completely disagree. I'm seeing a 21 and 32 year old now. The difference is night and day. Guess which one of these women has started to push for exclusivity, and I'll give you a prize.
joseb Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I'm getting too old to date older women But when I was younger I didn't have an issue with it. 1
frus69 Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 (edited) That's what I was curious about... at what age difference makes the consideration for long term a no go. I tend to attract younger men and I have not been considering them because I am looking for long term right now. When men aren't going to settle down anytime soon, they will date older, or much older women. That's why you see many women here say "yeah I dated/am dating guys 20 years younger for several years". But I noticed none of them say "Im married to a guy 20 years younger". When men start to want a family and kids, most of them will marry a younger woman. so if you want family and kids, you definitely need to lay it out clearly to the guy, at an early stage. You say "i tend to attract younger men". have you considered maybe you tend to be attracted to younger man? that's why you notice them, notice they are interested. probably older men like you too but because you aren't attracted to them, you didn't even notice. Edited July 9, 2016 by frus69 2
Erik30 Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 I won't date older than about 33/34 years old. Mostly because of the whole settling down and having kids thing. I'm not sure about that any time soon, but I'd like to keep the option open. And there's the fact that I'm simply not attracted to older women. (Well unless she's blessed with genes like Charlize Theron )
gaius Posted July 9, 2016 Posted July 9, 2016 It's really like any other kind of relationship tinker. Sometimes the man will want to be serious, sometimes he wont. My girlfriend is older than me and I'm wild about her. The idea of being together long term is a huge turn on for me. If the guy really likes you and you have the same vision for where you're going I don't see a certain number that's going to stop him from dating you or taking you seriously. 2
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