Do I have an intimacy problem? Or is this something I'll grow out of/get better at?

[shepard.stewart]

I am a very, very outgoing person. I am known to make even shy people feel comfortable. In most cases, I can talk to anyone (regardless of how long I've known them) for long periods of time.

 

This does not appear to be the case in more intimate settings. I am in my early 20s and haven't been in many intimate relationships (mostly because I'm just sort of picky; always expected to find the right partner after one or two relationship attempts, and I still think that might be the case).

 

Anyways, I do like someone currently. Talk to her fine over long texts, etc ... but in person, my head often kind of shuts off with topics to talk about. I DO NOT feel nervous/uncomfortable around her in person (at all! I think we're very, very similar...I've never actually met a male or female so similar to myself), but I'm assuming this has to be some form of subconscious nervousness. Why else would I not be talking as much?

 

And this doesn't happen in group settings, only alone.

 

We had to take a long drive and weren't talking a ton in the car. We both then had some drinks at night and proceeded to take all night until about 5am.

 

Anyways, given that I have been in very, very few intimate relationships,I can't gauge how normal/abnormal this is. Is it something that will just get better with time? Is it something that I actually need to work on by myself?

 

If you need some context: We worked in the same company for a few months but didn't really get to know each other well until this February, in the last 2 weeks of our employment (OF COURSE when the organization went belly-up). We did a lot in those two weeks as friends (I was acting in a similar less social type way when we were alone). Unfortunately, we don't live remotely close to one another now but have actually become pretty close remotely via text, etc. Despite not working together for 5 months, we still communicate pretty regularly.

 

The 3-4 hour trip mentioned above happened a couple weeks ago when she stayed at my place because she had to come back to the area for an event. We may both live in the same state again within the next few months.

 

All thoughts appreciated. Thank you!

[NTV]

I think what your facing sounds more like inexperience with appropriate timing versus some sort of intimacy problem.

 

 

Next time you aren't talking for a while, say something like 'sorry I'm not saying much, I'm trying to fight the urge to kiss you all over your body right now... and it's a hard urge to fight.'