sarah999 Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 My parents asked if my guy does that and I said no, he never does and my parents think it's a character flaw and a lack of caring. Personally I think it's kind of unnecessary because I live a mile away and my neighborhood is really safe, even late at night like midnight. What do you all think?
Lorenza Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 It's not a character flaw. Some guys are just very rational and don't rely on emotions. They worry if there is a reason for them to worry. In your case, doesn't seem like there is a reason for your guy to be overly protective, so I wouldn't mind it too much. 1
Gaeta Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's a nice gesture when people do it. Maybe you could start texting him you made it home alright and he'll catch on. How old is he? If he's young it's just not something that comes naturally to him yet. My concern is do you really walk home alone at night? I don't care in what village you live in, it's very dangerous, someone should drive you or you take a taxi. We are not safe anywhere, don't wait for something bad to happen before realizing it.
preraph Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's not an absolute and depends on the circumstances. But if you're walking alone or driving or taking public transportation and what with texting or calling being super simple these days, I do think it's not a great sign your man isn't feeling protective of you. Protective feeling is one of the things that kicks in on men if they have any genuine feelings and aren't just playing around. And even some nonserious guys are decent enough to be sure a girl got home safely, even if they may never want to see her again. Of course, there's always a chance he doesn't want you to think he's wondering IF you went home, if there's any jealously issues in the relationship.
PogoStick Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's something a guy does after the first date as an excuse to score points with the girl. And sure, I tended to ask with my girlfriend who had a 90 mile drive home late in the evening. But if you can't manage a 1 mile drive home in a safe neighborhood then I don't want to date you anyway! In short, your parents are being dumb and looking for an excuse to disapprove of your boyfriend.
RecentChange Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's a nice gesture when people do it. My concern is do you really walk home alone at night? I don't care in what village you live in, it's very dangerous, someone should drive you or you take a taxi. We are not safe anywhere, don't wait for something bad to happen before realizing it. I agree it's a nice gesture. I disagree that you should be fearful of walking a mile alone. Crime rates in the US are the lowest they have been in decades. I live in a huge urban city, one that is known to have its fair share of crime - yet I can not recall any instances of people being randomly attacked on the streets at night. Gang shootings? Yep. Random attacks to cause me to be fearful unless accompanied at all times? Nope. Street smarts, confidence, and being aware of your surroundings do a lot to keep you safe.
Author sarah999 Posted July 6, 2016 Author Posted July 6, 2016 It's a nice gesture when people do it. Maybe you could start texting him you made it home alright and he'll catch on. How old is he? If he's young it's just not something that comes naturally to him yet. My concern is do you really walk home alone at night? I don't care in what village you live in, it's very dangerous, someone should drive you or you take a taxi. We are not safe anywhere, don't wait for something bad to happen before realizing it. We are both in our mid 20s. I forgot to clarify that I drive home. If I had to walk I'm sure he would've driven me lol. I actually never thought of this until my parents brought it up.
Gaeta Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I disagree that you should be fearful of walking a mile alone. Crime rates in the US are the lowest they have been in decades. I live in Canada so your low rate is still gazillion time higher than here. I live in a city of 4 millions people with average 25 murder a year, that's .000006% Still, we don't walk a mile by ourselves in the middle of the night. After a rape it's too late to say 'I should or could'.
Gaeta Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 We are both in our mid 20s. I forgot to clarify that I drive home. If I had to walk I'm sure he would've driven me lol. I actually never thought of this until my parents brought it up. Thanks for clarifying I thought you might be walking home. Have your parents picked at other things concerning your bf?
RecentChange Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I live in Canada so your low rate is still gazillion time higher than here. I live in a city of 4 millions people with average 25 murder a year, that's .000006% Still, we don't walk a mile by ourselves in the middle of the night. After a rape it's too late to say 'I should or could'. I choose to empower myself and not live in fear of something that has a very small probability. Most rapes are committed by people known to the victim. Most rapes do not occur out in public spaces. Once the numbers are crunched, you are more likely to be hit by a car (or involved in a car accident) than to be stranger abducted while walking a mile at night. That's fine that you are not comfortable with walking at night, but to say its incredibly dangerous is not true (unless you live in a particularly violent / crime riddled neighborhood) 2
SoThatHappened Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I always do it, and not to win points. Well, points early in the game, but after that I genuinely just want to know she got home safely.
jen1447 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 My parents asked if my guy does that and I said no, he never does and my parents think it's a character flaw and a lack of caring. Personally I think it's kind of unnecessary because I live a mile away and my neighborhood is really safe, even late at night like midnight. What do you all think? I doubt it's about the home safe thing specifically - they're just looking for indications he's concerned about your well-being. They're parents, that's what they do ....worry about you and think no one's good enough for you. Let 'em have that, but do your own thinking and make your own decisions about ppl and everything else.
MissBee Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 It's not a requirement, but would be very strange to me if a man I'm dating doesn't seem concerned for my well being. Pretty much all my boyfriends or guys I've dated will check in with me that they're home and also ask me to check in with them or they will message or call to make sure I'm alright. It's reassuring and nice and it does say something about them, that they think about these things. As a preference, I like men who are attentive, caring and considerate and this is one way a man shows he is. My friends do this as well. Girls and guys. I live in a fairly safe neighborhood, but it's still an urban area, and it's still the world, and anything can happen, so it's just good practice, esp if it's late and you and your date or friends go your separate ways, to check in or they check on you.
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