Neptune36 Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 In the beginning, the guy I've been dating was more relaxed with his cellphone and didn't feel the need to have it on him or within his site. Recently, I've noticed he makes sure that it's not left alone around me for any reasonable amount of time. I've never snooped or have never given him any indication that I have. I feel like he is hiding something. Has anyone been in this situation? What was the outcome? Is there such a thing as a relationship where everything is laid out on the table? No secrets, no hiding, no worry or doubts?
Gaeta Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Yes I have been in a similar situation, turns out he was dating me, and another woman AND another woman. Are you exclusive? Yes I am in a relationship with no secrets. I am 100% comfortable with my phone laying around. Sometimes I hear it ding and I ask my BF to check who's texting me. He'll often hand me his phone for various things. We don't have passwords on our phones or our laptops. We don't check each other out, we trust that what ever is going on in there is respectful of our relationship.
sarah999 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 He leaves the phone on the table wherever he naturally placed it. He hands it to me to show me things. He doesn't text much in my presence unless it's important and then he tells me who's texting him and what he's texting about (of his own accord, I never pressured him). I never snooped nor felt the need to.
tinkerbell16 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 In the beginning, the guy I've been dating was more relaxed with his cellphone and didn't feel the need to have it on him or within his site. Recently, I've noticed he makes sure that it's not left alone around me for any reasonable amount of time. I've never snooped or have never given him any indication that I have. I feel like he is hiding something. Has anyone been in this situation? What was the outcome? Is there such a thing as a relationship where everything is laid out on the table? No secrets, no hiding, no worry or doubts? baaaaddddd sign. He is hiding it for a reason. Make an excuse to need to use it... like tell him your phone is dead then ask him to take a picture of something, then ask to see the pictures... then see how uneasy he is to hand his phone over to you. 1
jaio94 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 well i think it depends, i guess you should talk with him, but if it was ok with it before and not anymore it would worry me too, for me it's difficult to lend my phone to my bf or anyone because my ex used to control everything i was doing and had all my passwords, so my boyfriend nows why i don't like it, he knows it's not because im cheating or doing something bad and now after a while i can even let my facebook open on his laptop and not worry about it, but yeah if he started to do the same i would worry a bit and i would talk about it, maybe you can see if he gets mad or nervous and can't explain himself
smackie9 Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Actions speak louder than words....he doing something he shouldn't be doing. Confront and dump.
Better Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 I think it's telling that his behavior has changed without any reason on your part. That's what would concern me. I had one long-term relationship with a woman who worked in the same field as me, both in sales, but for a direct competitor. We definitely kept passwords on our phones and laptops and didn't intrude on the other's privacy. It wasn't like we had anything personal to hide but we definitely did not want to accidentally share competitive information. FWIW, the relationship didn't end due to that. She just got a transfer offer back to her home country and wanted to be closer to her daughter.
MissBee Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 This is strange behavior, especially when it deviates from how the person normally acts. That's usually a clue something is off, when people start inexplicable new behaviors, quirks or routines. I have never snooped and in all my relationships (except one where he was cheating on someone else to be with me ) phones weren't a thing we hid or paid attention to. We left our phone anywhere, beside each other on the bed, tables, showed each other stuff on it, at any point with no worry. I have never searched a boyfriend's phone, if it rings and they are away from it I ignore it or grab it and hand it to them, if an alert goes off I don't go check who it is, I mean if it's on the bed beside me then I will see, but if it isn't I don't break my neck to look, it's not a big deal because we both trust nothing is there to hide. So if in a relationship my guy was super protective of his phone, especially if he all of a sudden starts being that way, I would keep my ears and eyes peeled or ask him straight up why he's so protective...I'd do it casually though, even like a joke, and guage his response. Is it innocent like wow he didn't realize it seemed that way or is he defensive or fumbling for words or acting like a deer in headlights? That will tell you a lot.
VeveCakes Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 Yes I have been in a similar situation, turns out he was dating me, and another woman AND another woman. Are you exclusive? Yes I am in a relationship with no secrets. I am 100% comfortable with my phone laying around. Sometimes I hear it ding and I ask my BF to check who's texting me. He'll often hand me his phone for various things. We don't have passwords on our phones or our laptops. We don't check each other out, we trust that what ever is going on in there is respectful of our relationship. Exact same thing happened to me and have the same situation now! That's interesting 1
TheBathWater Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 This happened to me once also, and the outcome was not good. She was texting TONS of other guys - one of whom tried to pick her up and she gave him her number, and they were flirting and planning a coffee date. How cute. I picked her up from work that day with her stuff packed in my trunk, brought her home, and dumped her ass on her lawn. Peace.
NebraskaGuy Posted July 6, 2016 Posted July 6, 2016 While I agree this can be a bad thing especially if it's different from his normal behavior I will add my experience (I'm a guy). Sometimes my guy friends will text me very inappropriate things that I wouldn't necessarily want a new girlfriend to see. It's not so much hiding things from her as it is protecting my friends so she doesn't think they are a bunch of idiots and starts getting mad at me for associating with them. With that said though once I've known a girl for awhile and they have met my friends and know they are idiots then I don't mind
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