For Fit Women: Significant Weight Gain by H or BF

[Wookin Pa Nub]

Curious, for women that are into healthy living, physically fit or not considered terribly overweight, what role does significant weight gain by your H or BF have on your relationship? Most guys over 40 the extra weight goes right to belly and chins.

 

 

It would be safe to assume that with excess weight comes reduced physical activity, sleep issues, and diminished sex drive & stamina.

 

 

Now I am sure I am going to get a lot of ladies say they love their man no matter what. That's great but has it effected the relationship on any level(s)?

[stillafool]

My husband was tall and thin when we married and over the years he may have gained about 15 pounds. He looks just right for me now. Neither of us diet but we do exercise and like healthy foods. I have always been slender.

[xxoo]

No biggie.

 

Friskiness increases when he's super fit, but it's high regardless. My attraction isn't affected at all. As long as he can pick me up and take me, we good

[Lorenza]

My first BF gained a lot of weight during those 3 years we lived together. Somewhere around 50-60 lbs. It did affect the relationship, because he blamed his weight gain on our arguments and claimed that he gained due to stress. I never brought his weight up by myself, can't say I liked it, but it didn't really matter to me. I always wanted him, but he had pretty low libido himself.

 

He did end up coming back to his initial weight after we broke up, so maybe it was the stress our relationship caused him.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

My husband was tall and thin when we married and over the years he may have gained about 15 pounds. He looks just right for me now. Neither of us diet but we do exercise and like healthy foods. I have always been slender.

 

I wouldn't say adding 15 lbs is any significant weight gain.

 

 

So if he gave up exercise, ate bad and added another 40-50 lbs, how would you take it?

[Lady2163]

I was in my 20s and my husband gained over 100 pounds. He was twice my weight. I handled it poorly. I put the responsibility for weight loss on his shoulders. He was gone for work M-F, so I couldn't offer to cook better food for him or make him exercise with me.

 

Now, karma's a bitch. Fast forward 20 years and I'm 80 pounds overweight!

 

DAMNIT!

 

Joking aside - I'm in a lot different situation financially. If I had a husband or boyfriend, I'd like to think we would be doing some physical activities together. I don't think I'd be attracted to someone who is a videotape player or couch potato. I'm past the age of children and soon I won't have to work 16 hour days to make the almighty dollar.

[xxoo]

The times my husband has gained weight have been when he was working on a grad degree while working full time, or working 2 jobs to support our young family. Not exactly laziness or character flaw.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

The times my husband has gained weight have been when he was working on a grad degree while working full time, or working 2 jobs to support our young family. Not exactly laziness or character flaw.

 

I know that kind of sacrifice. Very commendable. I did the same thing, worked my arse off (desk job) for many years and gained weight steadily. Once we got a little more comfortable, I put myself first to focus on my health.

[stillafool]

I wouldn't say adding 15 lbs is any significant weight gain.

 

 

So if he gave up exercise, ate bad and added another 40-50 lbs, how would you take it?

 

Um, not sure. I would still love him though. He's quite tall so maybe he could handle 40 pounds and still look good.

[Imported]

Um, not sure. I would still love him though. He's quite tall so maybe he could handle 40 pounds and still look good.

 

OK, lets say at his height and because he was so thin when you met him that he can handle 40lbs extra without looking fat.

 

So make that 80lbs extra. I think the OP wants your opinion for when he gets to a point where you look at him and he is grossly overweight. 2, maybe 3 extra chins. No angularity on the face because it's got too much of a fat layer, gotta lift up a stomach fold to see the penis. Maybe something like that. What would you do if he got like that.

[xxoo]

I know that kind of sacrifice. Very commendable. I did the same thing, worked my arse off (desk job) for many years and gained weight steadily. Once we got a little more comfortable, I put myself first to focus on my health.

 

Exactly. That sort of weight fluctuation doesn't affect my attraction because he's still being a masculine, strong man. Sexy.

[stillafool]

OK, lets say at his height and because he was so thin when you met him that he can handle 40lbs extra without looking fat.

 

So make that 80lbs extra. I think the OP wants your opinion for when he gets to a point where you look at him and he is grossly overweight. 2, maybe 3 extra chins. No angularity on the face because it's got too much of a fat layer, gotta lift up a stomach fold to see the penis. Maybe something like that. What would you do if he got like that.

 

I'll have to be honest, I couldn't handle the lifting of his stomach to find his penis. I'm too lazy for that plus I would be grossed out.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I'll have to be honest, I couldn't handle the lifting of his stomach to find his penis. I'm too lazy for that plus I would be grossed out.

 

If a man has a stomach that big it "folds" over his penis I would say that he is likely morbidly obese. Now what if it wasn't that much but just significant weight where he had a very noticeable beer belly and looked out of shape, like he gets winded walking up a flight of steps.

[stillafool]

If a man has a stomach that big it "folds" over his penis I would say that he is likely morbidly obese. Now what if it wasn't that much but just significant weight where he had a very noticeable beer belly and looked out of shape, like he gets winded walking up a flight of steps.

 

I don't think that would bother me so much. I'd want to ride his stomach naked!

[BlueIris]

I don’t care. Sweet, smart and funny-to-tears easily trumps weight any day for me. I like a guy who can do things like hike, bike, swim, walk 18 holes, play games, and have high-energy sex but so long as you do those things, you won’t get heavy anyway. On the other hand, being extremely concerned about bmi and the gym and all that stuff feels high-strung to me and not fun.

[Toodaloo]

My ex gained a significant amount of weight while we were together because he was a lazy assed ****wit who sulked and stropped if he "had" to eat healthy food...

 

Both attributes I do not match with AT ALL as I like to be on the go most of the time (recent beau has complained that I just do not stop) and I like to be active and I like eating healthy food because it tastes good!

 

It had a major effect on our relationship... not the weight but the cause of the weight gain.

 

So wish he had not put on the act in that first 6 months. I could have saved years of misery and boredom. When I think of the men I turned down because I was with him and wouldn't cheat.... pft I could kick myself.

 

As for natural weight gain as in ageing or weight that fluctuates depending on time for activities/ being busy at work or having more spare time or being ill etc. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I like a bit of chunk on my men.

[Tribble]

I wouldn't mind. As long as my other half could still do stuff. Having so much weight that you can't do anything would be a turn off.

 

 

At the beginning of the relationship with my ex, he was slightly bigger and started running and going to the gym. I'm really active so it was something fun we could do together. As we got comfortable, he stopped doing all that stuff and put on weight. It didn't affect my attraction for him at all. The problem was, he moaned about it all the time. He stopped doing any exercise, stopped watching what he ate and moaned at the outcome. It got annoying because he refused to do anything about it, work out with me or anything, kept saying he was too tired. The weight gain wasn't a problem, I still wanted to jump him any chance I got. The attitude about it was annoying though.

[Wookin Pa Nub]

This has been interesting. I'd say most of the women here feel the extra weight and physical appearance didn't affect their affection or sexual desires towards their man but in some cases it was the attitude that was the issue.