delux27 Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 So my story is kinda long I appreciate anyone who can give me some advice. I met this girl about 8 years ago, we worked together and she was 17. I was 21. We hooked up and I immediately regretted it because I thought I was going to get into trouble because she told her parents and was telling everyone at work and acted super crazy.. I cut her off completely. I dated some other girls then when she was 18 we hooked up a couple more times over next 2 years.. I never dated her though.. When she was 20, she met a military guy and he proposed to her. She then asked for my permission to marry this guy and I tried to give her good advice and told her if he makes her happy she should marry him but I would be up for starting a relationship with her if not... we then hooked up again.. She goes through with the marrige due to family pressure and I had just got out of a relationship so she wasn't sure we would work. Moves from Ohio to Alaska where he was stationed.. in this time I started dating a girl for a year and half. We broke up due to the girl being scared to move in together after it was decided and I got the new place for us.. Shortly after that break up I get a message from the girl that got married and moved to alaska.. she tells me the marrige fell apart and she is back in ohio.. so this time we actually try to start a relationship.. 3 months later she is pregnant...she doesn't belive in abortion and never gave me the option to give my opinion Wether we should keep it. she told me she had the implant when we first started dating.. when I told her it would have to be removed for the baby safe. She then tells me she is on the pill and sometime forgets to take it. I fully realize that I am just as responsible and should of never trusted her words and protected myself.. I thought it was weird when we had sex she would begin for me to cum inside her... Then all the lies start to be discovered. Eventually she admits to not being on any birth control and wanting a baby.. I tell her I don't trust her and need space. In the next 3 days she is contacting her ex husband about getting back together and him helping her raise my kid! After a conversation with her ex husband I find out all kinds of lies she told about their marrige and me. He tells me she cheated on him and moved in with some guy in Alaska only 4 months after the wedding... so I tell her I am going to give it one last chance for the baby sake and forgive everything if she promised to be completely honest about everything. The baby is due this week and I don't trust this girl. And I do not love her... our connection is just not there. We have fun together but our only conversation is about the baby, we have nothing in common... Now I am just at the point where both of our families want us to be together, all of our friends want us to be together.. and coming from a divorced family I don't want my son to be raised in a broken household. I plan to be there for the kid 100% and even want shared custody.. I just don't think I want to be with her.. also I am worried that if I am not with her it will be very difficult to find someone that is right for me, I am now 28 with a baby on the way... please if anyone has been in a similar situation or has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
LJ9 Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 I'm friends with the girl in that story. Not the exact girl, but same-ish scenario. She started dating a guy and said she was infertile, got pregnant 3 months in. Had a miscarriage. Got pregnant again 3 months later and carried that baby to term. She wanted a baby and lied to her BF to get pregnant. They had the baby, stayed together. Been together 5 years or something like that. To this day he doesn't know she lied about THAT, at least not that he has admitted. She lied about a lot of other things, were she studied, what year she was in, where she lived, events that happened in her life. He knows about that, even though she has never admitted it the lies came out. He, like you, feels very little connection to her. He feels stuck because they have a child together. She grew up and stopped lying to him as soon as they had their child. She went through therapy and worked out why she did that. But it doesn't change the fact that she did do it, he cannot get over it. GET OUT NOW. You have no obligation to be with her. Chances are she will not stop lying, but even if she does it will always be there. A broken home is better than parents that don't want to be together. The couple in this story get along, they don't fight but he only stays for the child. You need to be happy. So I say it again, get out now. Before you get to use to being together as parents, and the child knows the difference. Fight for 50/50 custody, support the child financially. But watch out for lies she might throw with that as well. (And a lot of women will date a man with a child. It's not as big of a deal breaker as one might think. I have a 1 year old. I'd rather date someone with a kid because they know what it's like and like kids.)
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