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Husband not interested in me anymore after threesome

ashleyhahn

By ashleyhahn
in General Relationship Discussion

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ashleyhahn New Member

ashleyhahn

Posted
Posted

I never post anything on any open forum but I'm really lost and need advise.

 

Me and my husband have been together for 7 years and we had a wonderful threesome just three months ago with someone really special. My husband had been depressed for three years before this (I believed I was depressed with him the same time) and this threesome had got him out of depression so of course I'm happy and encourage us to do it again with her and we did. But my husband had fallen in love with her during the beautiful love making and couldn't get out of it. She had since had a boyfriend and we were forced to keep our distance from her but later on they broke up. My husband thought for sure she will come back to his arm since she's single again. But she didn't feel that way about him at all, she only felt friendship nothing more. This then put my husband back in depression again. Seeing her dating other men or thinking she had sex with them made him severely depressed. To make things more complicated, I found out I was pregnant a week ago (first time). Thought this will make him happy but it didn't. When we still have her in our live me and my husband had sex frequently at least 4-5 times a week. Now he's depressed again we have sex once or twice a week and always initiated by me. I suggests him to find someone else to have sex with in order to get over her and he starts joining the chat room 5 days ago, and he hasn't touched me since. He has been passionately chatting with many women during these days without taking any interested in me.

 

I would have been OK if we are having regular sex when he's dating other women. But he is not. He said he won't be able to control himself when he sees our previous threesome lover again but he's too depressed to touch me. I don't want to sound jealous but can you blame me? Please give me suggestions to a pregnant lady I sincerely thank you.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

Posted
Posted

Just another example of "be careful what you wish for"....

 

I don't have much to add other than Ive seen plenty of threads on here that basically say the same thing your post does...

 

I wish you well..

 

TFY

  • Like 2
BlueIris Established Member

BlueIris

Posted
Posted
I never post anything on any open forum but I'm really lost and need advise.

 

Me and my husband have been together for 7 years and we had a wonderful threesome just three months ago with someone really special. My husband had been depressed for three years before this (I believed I was depressed with him the same time) and this threesome had got him out of depression so of course I'm happy and encourage us to do it again with her and we did. But my husband had fallen in love with her during the beautiful love making and couldn't get out of it. She had since had a boyfriend and we were forced to keep our distance from her but later on they broke up. My husband thought for sure she will come back to his arm since she's single again. But she didn't feel that way about him at all, she only felt friendship nothing more. This then put my husband back in depression again. Seeing her dating other men or thinking she had sex with them made him severely depressed. To make things more complicated, I found out I was pregnant a week ago (first time). Thought this will make him happy but it didn't. When we still have her in our live me and my husband had sex frequently at least 4-5 times a week. Now he's depressed again we have sex once or twice a week and always initiated by me. I suggests him to find someone else to have sex with in order to get over her and he starts joining the chat room 5 days ago, and he hasn't touched me since. He has been passionately chatting with many women during these days without taking any interested in me.

 

I would have been OK if we are having regular sex when he's dating other women. But he is not. He said he won't be able to control himself when he sees our previous threesome lover again but he's too depressed to touch me. I don't want to sound jealous but can you blame me? Please give me suggestions to a pregnant lady I sincerely thank you.

 

Wow. He’s not depressed. He’s self-indulgent and spoiled. Stop giving in to his emotional blackmail.

 

Very soon you will have a child to raise and it will be a nightmare with someone as self-centered as your husband.

 

Tell him to get it together and start taking responsibility for himself, his marriage and his family. Then focus on your health and your baby’s health and preparing for parenting, as you should.

 

Maybe find a nicer way to put it, perhaps something along these lines: “Honey, I’m sorry to hear that you’re depressed. Please see a doctor about that. I made a mistake agreeing that you could do whatever you want to please yourself sexually. I don’t agree to that any more.”

  • Like 5
NTV Established Member

NTV

Posted
Posted

I just don't think I have enough info here to really help....Why did you agree to the threesome in the first place? Did you cheat and indulge him this out of guilt?

VeveCakes Established Member

VeveCakes

Posted
Posted

Don't have this baby please.

  • Like 5
Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

Posted
Posted
I never post anything on any open forum but I'm really lost and need advise.

 

Me and my husband have been together for 7 years and we had a wonderful threesome just three months ago with someone really special. My husband had been depressed for three years before this (I believed I was depressed with him the same time) and this threesome had got him out of depression so of course I'm happy and encourage us to do it again with her and we did. But my husband had fallen in love with her during the beautiful love making and couldn't get out of it. She had since had a boyfriend and we were forced to keep our distance from her but later on they broke up. My husband thought for sure she will come back to his arm since she's single again. But she didn't feel that way about him at all, she only felt friendship nothing more. This then put my husband back in depression again. Seeing her dating other men or thinking she had sex with them made him severely depressed. To make things more complicated, I found out I was pregnant a week ago (first time). Thought this will make him happy but it didn't. When we still have her in our live me and my husband had sex frequently at least 4-5 times a week. Now he's depressed again we have sex once or twice a week and always initiated by me. I suggests him to find someone else to have sex with in order to get over her and he starts joining the chat room 5 days ago, and he hasn't touched me since. He has been passionately chatting with many women during these days without taking any interested in me.

 

I would have been OK if we are having regular sex when he's dating other women. But he is not. He said he won't be able to control himself when he sees our previous threesome lover again but he's too depressed to touch me. I don't want to sound jealous but can you blame me? Please give me suggestions to a pregnant lady I sincerely thank you.

 

but can you blame me? -- I'm sorry if this is harsh, but I think that is part of the risk of introducing a third party into a marriage intimately.

 

On top of that, if this is what brought him out of his "depression", he wasn't necessarily depressed, he just was feeling unsatisfied sexually.

 

I suggests him to find someone else to have sex with -- So given the poor results of introducing a third party to the relationship, you decided to let it happen again? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.

 

It's time for couples counseling and more importantly, individual counseling. There is something else wrong with the relationship.

  • Like 1
preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

I tell anyone who asks: Never ever have a threesome with people you really know well or any of you really likes the other. It is always going to end in a big mess. It's just sex. It's not worth it all the crossed wires.

 

If you want to have a threeway because you like exploring, do it with acquaintances you can trust because other people know them well enough but not with another couple or anyone you might develop feelings for. It's just sex. Do it once and don't do it with them again.

 

What happens is someone gets jealous. Someone feels left out. Someone begins to suspect this other party wasn't chosen at random. And just logistically speaking, most threeways just end up being two women servicing one guy and just aren't that fun for the women, unless they are also attracted to each other. It ends up just being a sex competition and if you're part of a couple, I can almost guarantee you he will be far more interested in the new woman than in you, and you will not like that.

  • Like 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

Your marriage is over. He's no longer in love with you and doesn't desire you except and maybe if another women is there to excite him. I agree not to have this baby. I would move on if you ever want to be happy with a man because this one no longer wants you.

  • Like 3
Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted

I think you should pack your bags and leave. What an appalling way to treat a partner and you are at such a low ebb that you are actively encouraging him to sleep around to cure his "depression"?

 

Oh my days there is so much wrong here I don't even know where to start.

  • Like 7
sam light Established Member

sam light

Posted
Posted

This guy is going to be a life long, self centered, basket case. Dump him. He will be an awful Dad and an awful ex husband someday if you have the kid.

  • Like 1
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