juniorrocha Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 So tomorrow is my birthday. And I can't stop crying. I can't believe my ex came back 2 weeks ago, filled me with hopes that we would work it out just to leave again. I can't believe I miss this woman so much after all that she put me through. I can't believe that tomorrow is my birthday and I just feel like running away from everyone and all their wishes. I just want to hide. I live in another town, I don't have many friends here, no family, and I'm finishing the semester (college), so I have a lot of things to study and do. I've been trying so hard to keep my mind off of things, I'm going to the gym everyday (except sundays), I'm doing my responsabilities (which earned me some extra money these days), every now and then I go out, been to parties, bars, clubs, lunchs... and still nothing feels right. This is the first time I'm not excited at all for my birthday. In fact I wish it wasn't my birthday. I'm anxious, I'd like to hear from her, at the same time it doesn't matters since it wouldn't be the same anyway. I wish I could hug her, spend the day with her like all the other birthdays. Just wanted to vent a little and get things out of my chest; I normally don't feel lonely, but tonight it's hitting me hard, even though I was just outside with a friend and had some fun. Just want it all to be over already...
bummer Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 You got this. Your advice is on point and you got your head screwed on straight. You'll have a great day. Don't fall in the trap. When she texts you, delete it. Or keep her blocked. If you drink, watch your limit. Be disciplined. Parabens e Feliz anniversario. 2
Author juniorrocha Posted July 6, 2016 Author Posted July 6, 2016 bummer, she actually called me tonight. I didn't hear the phone ring. I returned her call. She said she called me to wish me a happy birthday. She also transfered the money I lent her a while back. That's it. For the past few days, I've been feeling lonely and sad as ****. Now I don't feel that. It's like her call turned off the sadness switch. You know what I feel like right now? Running. And running fast, running as fast as I can and far away from her. I feel free now. There's no money she has to give me. There's no birthday to expect a call. There's absolutely nothing I have to worry or be anxious about. She dumped me, she cheated on me, she lied to me, she is the bitch of the story and now I feel like it's finally over! These past 2 weeks, even though I've been keeping up with all my stuff and not rotting in my room, I wasn't seeing any improvement. Now somehow I just feel free. My true healing process starts right now. And I'm gonna make this new year of my life be worth it. PS: thanks for your birthday wishes. hehe Or should I say obrigado?
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