rarasama Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 So ... i'm writing here because I want to believe i'm not crazy? Seeking some emotional validation I guess ... and trying to make sense of this. i can't go into ALL the background details, so i'll focus on the main part best I can. 1. Has anyone every experienced a rebound after divorce resulting in pregnancy within a year? Before even finalized? So technically starting a family while still married i guess? i.e. man begins divorce with his wife, less than 6 months later, randomly chooses to have a baby with another woman (supposidly mutual) as part of starting to 'rebuild his life'? And additionally, pretending he's still WITH his wife, it's theirs, telling NO ONE about the baby for 7 months (and still mostly a secret afterwards until born, to which no one celebrated and was like a 'dark baby cloud' looming), and never mentioning the 'new girl' at all the whole time - until yesterday when privately confronted about her after a google result popped up with her baby registry - who ironically also happened to be a tenant at a 3 bedroom property he helps professionally manage (says he legitimately started dating her, 'moved on quickly' and 'she even got out of a long term relationship too 3 months earlier, too)? I personally think he got drunk one night and is rationalizing/in denial/lying to himself. I don't know how it's possible to see a tenant on a constant basis without the owner finding out, especially with at least 2 other roommates involved .... But that's just me. 2. If you've experienced someone having a rebound after divorce with pregnancy ...or without pregnancy even i guess ... what happened afterwards? Was it a legitimate long-lasting thing or did it fall apart? My gut says it'll implode, children are like throwing a hand grenade into any relationship i've heard .... But i'd feel better mentally preparing myself for whatever could happen down the road, so i can better handle it emotionally and physically, in a mature way. 3. Am i absolutely crazy thinking this is horridly sad, extremely messed up, and cruel to the child? Whole thing feels downright wrong .... Thanks for your time .... thoughts appreciated .....
stillafool Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 No one can tell you what the outcome is in this situation. It depends on the "rebound" couple and what their relationship is. They may have been seeing each other before the break up and established a close bond. With the baby coming they may become closer because they will be a family. It would be bad for the child if the father doesn't want to be involved. Does he want to be involved?
MJJean Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 I was married to my exH when I met my DH. We became involved very quickly. 6.5 months from our first date we conceived our son. I got divorced as soon as finances permitted, DH and I got married 2 months after the divorce was final, and have been married for 13 years, together for a total of 16. It works out for some people and not for others. Only time can tell. 1
basil67 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 I had been separated from my first husband for two months when I met my now partner. He and I have now been together nearly 25 years. We waited a few years to have kids - but moving on quickly doesn't necessarily bode disaster. 2
stillafool Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 I would definitely say it would depend on how the couple got together. If it was after the breakup from their partners and they have moved on and then got together I would say it can work. If they got together right after the breakups and haven't had a chance to grieve then heal, there lies the problem. They may miss their ex just by being around you.
Recommended Posts