326srr Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Here’s my story:[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]I started seeing a girl a little over a monthago. She had recently gotten out of a serious relationship and really had her guardup. We started off as friends, but I could tell she was apprehensive abouthanging out because she knew where it was leading to. Hanging out started to feel more like actualdates and she told me from the beginning that she wanted to move slow, becauseshe always moves fast and gets burned. “Moving slow” is very subjective, and Ithink I ended up moving too slow, because now she’s saying we’re feeling morelike friends and she doesn’t feel a spark. She said she wants to feel itbecause I’m everything she’s looking for and she thinks I’m good for her. We’vekissed, but not passionately. We have not had sex. I want to give her thatspark, but I don’t want it to feel forced. She mentioned it was weird we haven’tmade out (feels like high school -_-), but now it just seems like I’d beforcing it. I feel like I was in a catch 22, she wanted to move slow, so I did,but moving slow gave her the friend vibe. I’m going to a wedding with her thisweekend out of town and I feel like this might be the last time to see if thiscould work out. Any advice on what do to do? She’s also mentioned she’s notfeeling a connection because we haven’t had any deep conversations, which Itake blame for because I’m a private person and don’t open up very easily. She’san amazing girl and we always have a great time when we’re together, I’m justnot sure how to move forward at this point. I have enough experience in datingto know when it’s time to move on, and I just can’t bring myself to with thisone.
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 This is the worse type of situation to get involved with. * recently out of a relationship * wants to take things slow * Not feeling it. If you hear ONE of those 3 you run away, well you've just heard the 3 of them out of her mouth. This will amount to nothing. Save yourself some hardship and end it now.
smudge21 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Agreed. She's given herself an "out" from the start. From then on, she was always in charge and you had no choice but to agree to her rules. Your only option was to walk away. It's true she did slip you into a catch 22 as you were simply running at her pace. Sadly, in this dating "game" sometimes what one says isn't truly what one wants. I've been there, played the game and taken it slow... only to be left out in the cold when they hooked up with someone who was the exact type they said they were trying to avoid. Suddenly at that point it all made sense that deep down, she just didn't feel it with me, so wanted to take things slow (not throw me away, but also not get me too close). New guy comes along and within a few days she's fully hooked up and all those words I heard meant nothing. Avoid that and if you can, walk away. If you want to hang on in there, then keep in mind what's been said. Maybe shop around in the meantime - last thing you want is to lose out on something really good whilst focusing too much on something that isn't.
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