Shannonsbf Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 I will try to condense this. Ok gf of 2 years livbed with me for last year. Weve had ups and downs and such. 2 months ago she says she is moving out. She moved out. I tried to play tough guy and let her go without giving her a bad time (big mistake). She left and i fell apart, i talked to her and explained how i was wrong and need her in my life and all of that. She agreed we can work on it, but she was distant and cold and said she was unsure really if she wanted to work it out. She never changed fb status to single either which prob means nothing. We text still and she has come hang out at my house a few times. She will touch me or hold my hand when we are watchin a movie but if i tried to kiss her she pulls away. She hadnt been over to the house in a while and i have revamped the place, got a tv, a new chair etc and generally cleaned up. She got to my house yesterday before me (she still has a key). And she began texting me "whoah! House looks good", "you got a tv!" And "i miss being here". So we had a nice evening, we made food and watched a flick. Some touch but kissing was denied kinda. Somehow talking i stated "i can live with or without you in my life but i know what i would preffer" and she teared up. Anyhow, night goes well then when she is leaving i walk her to her car and she hugs me (she likes to hug and gives me long unprovoked hugs) but after the hug she lingered and we kissed and she kissed back. Anyhow, i am feeling she may be stringing me along and using me to cope with her side of the breakup and i just want input on the whole thing from others view. Thank you 1
feelsobullied Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Your forcing this poor girl to kiss you when she doesn't want to . If she doesn't want to be with you, let her go. Be the tough one and end it for the time being and allow her back when she wants to or be supportive and tell her you'll just be your friend until she wants to get back together . She doesn't seem strong enough and has some attachment but doubts. Be the better one here and help her decide. Or are you even worth being with? 1
Satu Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 Don't build up your expectations. She still doesn't want to be with you. 1
Giggles666 Posted July 4, 2016 Posted July 4, 2016 //She moved out. I tried to play tough guy and let her go without giving her a bad time (big mistake).// Not a mistake, talking about it is one thing. Giving her a bad time is a mistake. If you love someone, set them free, if acting like a tough guy is more important then you are showing her your supposed stance of manhood is more important. Tough guys to me have feelings and communicate, they are cerebral and caring. I also don;t understand how folks sorta break-up. As for the touching and hanging out, she may be weening herself off or keeping you around just in case, or maybe she is confused. However if she is confused she and you should not hang out, nor should things like new TVs or her having a key be things. If this whole thing is bothering you, and it seems it is, do not play with fire. Let her know how you feel and then maybe you to can work on things apart. No temporary or quick fixes are good IME. Best of luck, hope you feel better and figure out what you feel and need to do.
54JA Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 I agree with Giggles. Tell her how you feel, how you want the relationship to be, and ask her directly what is wrong, but don't let her use you as a crutch to wean herself off of you. You can give her time to think but IMO, you two need to be apart while she does that.
Jammer25 Posted July 5, 2016 Posted July 5, 2016 To be honest, you needed a clean break the first time. Moving out is a huge step, and if you really wanted to fix it you would have done everything in your reason at that point. This has all the makings of an on-off relationship that you feel like keeping but not quite committing. Don't string yourself or her along...
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